Hullo. I'm a 25 year old girlthing with a 7 year old minion and an extended family of affinity. My laptop is my precious and no one is allowed to touch it. Seriously, I'll fucking eat your face. :) I adore sci-fi/fantasy but I'm not as well read as I would like to be. I also shame my fellow elf enthusiasts with my hatred for Tolkien's writing style. I love the stories...adore the cartoon movies from the 70s...but for the love of all that's unholy, his writing sucks ass. To be honest, I'm a lot crazy and *quite kinky*. I've got a Fet profile if you want to just swap those. I come with a bit of drama but I promise it's all worth it. For fun, I get dragged to karaoke all over Downtown, spend time with friends at the Saucer, spend time with friends laying about their living rooms watching TV/movies, practically live in the Adult-Cave that is the garage, and read. I am funny, sarcastic, and strange. I'm an alterna-tink and a "gothic strawberry shortcake". Yes, I have seen the Penny Arcade thing with Femdom Strawberry Shortcake.

Being a house elf par excellence. Being Bambi the Minister's Aide at the Ministry of Mayhem. Slogging through schoolshit. Attempting to balance social obligations, familial obligations, and academic obligations. Cranky Xstitch, which is epically fun. Nothing like an old-fashioned sampler pattern adapted to cynicism and cuss words.

I'm really rather good at making people laugh...well that or horribly offending them. Sometimes it's a gamble but it's generally worth it. My amazing alliteration ability is awe inspiring and absolutely admirable. Also, it amuses me. Thrift stores. This sounds like a weird one, but I have magic. You don't even know. Those boots in my pictures? 5 bucks at a thrift shop. MAGIC, I TELL YOU!

I honestly don't know what the first thing about me people notice would be. I have cool shoes but I doubt people notice that at all. Maybe my hair? My height, especially since I'm usually standing next to someone tall? Or even more probably, the fact that I can't shut up to save my soul.

Books:
They're mainly trashy romance. I have ~200 paperbacks, ~1500 ebooks, and know the best websites for free fiction. The internet stuff is generally crap...but that's half the fun. It's like thrift-storing. You gotta look through it all to find the great stuff.

Movies: Sci-fi, Fantasy, Horror. The best are on the Sci-fi channel. Their original "horror" movies crack me up. I fucking love all their remakes of old school books. Tin Man and Alice? Sweet baby jeebus. Andrew Lee-Potts was a delicious Hatter. All Hatters are delicious but he was a supergoodyumomnomnom one. Also, I refuse to call it the Syfy channel. Geeks, we have been betrayed. This is an offensive change that insults our intelligence. I vote we petition for change. The Fifth Element and Serenity are my favorite movies of all time. They're like foreplay.

Music: Just about anything. I'm not real picky. I just like to scream/sing along.

Food: Bacon. Carbs. Any carb. Mmmmm. Also cheese. Bacon. Any cheese. Steak burritos from Chipotle. Bacon. Orange chicken from Pei Wei. Bacon. Spicy tuna rolls.

- Minion
- Internet/Laptop
- Pharmaceuticals
- Soda...I know I'm horrible. I'm pickling my innards.
- My social circle and events
- My cat. Or a cat in general. But specifically mine. She's a little black cat who is all black except for her junk. That is white. It's like a tramp stamp for a kitty or something. Her name is Om.

MAYHEM! The dissolution of civilization due to the inability of the human species to adapt to social restructuring caused by technological advancement. Family values aren't being lost, they're changing and some rat bastards can't handle that. Beating the shit out of your wife daily was at one point considered to be a Family Value. Idk about y'all, but I'm self-serving I guess and am kind of glad that one died off. My social calender. The flow chart required to track the drama that occurs within the social community I circulate...and talking shit about every fucker in it. Lotsa shit. ALL the shit.

During public school year, I'm at home with my minion most Fridays. If I'm not, I'm at a friends place or at ours having a kiki with the Ministry of Mayhem. Saturdays are much more likely to include nighttime excursions and parties.

Um...I'm willing to admit a lot of private things one-on-one but I don't know about posting them out to the world of primarily vanillas. If you want to know, ask. I'm up for totes admitting that I am a masochist, a submissive with standards, and a generalized kinkster. I don't do hook-ups or fuck and runs and I'm monogamish, not poly. Which makes me a weirdo.

You're any type of geek, freak, or otherwise interesting person. :)

I respond to almost all messages...unless you're copypasta of the boring variety. If you're horrible? I'm probs going to respond and shred you after doing a dramatic reading of your message for my friends. Just for fun and my own amusement. Because I'm like that.