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36 Seattle, WA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 30–44
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Aug 13
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Christianity, and somewhat serious about it
Gemini, and it matters a lot
Graduated from two-year college
Rather not say
Strictly monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Has dogs and has cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I have to share THE FUNNIEST message I've received to date. "... and it's nice to read a profile with a sense of hummer." Freudian slip?

I like to think of myself as the female version of Daniel Tosh. I love to laugh (out loud), joke and poke fun at all things. Yes, this means I'm inappropriate and you should keep me away from your kids, boss, in-laws and Grandmother. That being said your Grandmother would probably love me. Seriously.

I love to stay in and watch a movie cuddled up on the couch. Perhaps cut a hole in the popcorn bag. I like going out to dinner, comedy shows, the local dive bar. Fair warning I'm a light weight. Three beers and I'm humping someone's leg. Let's hope the victim isn't a stranger. Or if so, they are at least amused or flattered.

I have piercings and tattoos but I'm not emo. I like to sleep in but I'm not lazy. I'm a single Mom but I'm not easy. I have more than one cat but I'm not the crazy cat lady. I'm on OKC but I'm not desperate. Grammatical errors annoy me but I'm not a snob. I want to live on a farm but I'm not attracted to horses. Hope that clears things up. ;-)

I love classic cars and own a '66 Mustang. I like the challenge of trying to figure out how to work on it and restore it. I can even do my own tune ups! It would be awesome to meet someone who enjoys the same. Cars have always fascinated me so I kinda think mechanics are hott. Don't judge me! LOL

I enjoy camping, hiking, paintball, and kicking the soccer ball around the yard. I'm not afraid to get dirt under my nails but I also know how to be a lady. I'm a bit of a weirdo when it comes to panties and bras... they have to match! color, style, whatever. If they don't I just feel like my whole day is off. True story. I mean, you never know when you may be invited to a game of strip poker. I gotta look my best. (;

I'm looking for a guy who knows what he wants and how to get it. You've got to be funny! I don't neccessarily have a type so you should... Have decent morals - no one seems to have them anymore, a healthy ability to be sarcastic and witty - huge turn on, and you can't be afraid of PDA's - I'm physical and I'm extremely comfortable with that, so you should be too. I'm more attracted to a 'decent' looking guy who sends me a hilarious message than a 'gorgeous' one that simply says, "hello". How's that for a que? ;-)

I'm a single parent of a 16 y/o boy. He's super cool, not that I'm biased. He's funny, smart, wise beyond his years and altogether a cool dude. I'm not looking for a "Daddy", I think I'm doing that just fine. ;)

It seems there are quite a few men on here just looking to get laid. =/ But then I also hear the women on here will do anything for a Klondike bar. >=) I'm not looking to get married next year. On the same token, I'm not looking to take a number either. I'm a strong believer in monogamy. If you have a problem seeing one person, title or no title, then we won't get along. Good Luck to you, though.

Oh, and just to be clear I've been separated for well over a year. There is no chance of reconciliation. So I hope that doesn't deter you from getting to know someone TOTALLY awesome. (;
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I work in the medical field and have for almost 15 years.

I reflect daily on how I can be a better parent than what my parents were. How I can be a better person than the one I was yesterday. It's natural for us as a society to judge each other. I try to put myself in someone else's shoes and imagine how things would be different. I don't want to be a close-minded jerk.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Making people laugh. I know a million jokes and I hate to see people bummed out. I really think life is too short to take ourselves so seriously. I go out of my way to make people smile, laugh and get along. It really sucks being in a room with blatant awkwardness.

Being a Gemini. I'm a great communicator. People also tell me I'm very perceptive.

I'm also great with animals. I have a Pomeranian/Shi-tzu, cats and a chinchilla. I've raised chickens for over three years now. It's a passion of mine however my new place doesn't allow them. As soon as I can I plan to take it back up.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Males - my butt
Females - my hair

ha ha ha, in all honesty, I don't know. Maybe my quirky sense of humor?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Because you can't tell from my photos, I LOVE FOOD. I eat just about anything... except pizza, tacos and burgers - Gross! Ok, that may seem odd, but it's entirely true. I don't like red sauce, ground beef and I'm a little weird about mixing veggies with meat. However, I love lasagna, pizza with alfredo sauce and turkey meatloaf. It makes no sense, I know this, but meh, it is what it is.

I LOVE to read. I mostly read true crime novels, like Ann Rule. There is something about the human mind that fascinates me so I like warped stuff. That may seem creepy but I could have some strange, gross fettish. I choose the former. =p

I don't watch much t.v. but when I do I love to watch true crime shows. Tosh.O, The History Channel, The Discovery Channel, Family Guy, True Blood, The Walking Dead. One of my all time faves was Three's Company when I was a kid. I spent a lot of time at my Grandparents house when I was little. Grandma used to watch the classics - Lassie, Flipper, Mr. Ed. I have to say I get all nostalgic when they come on. Pathetic I know, but Grandma was cool and I loved hanging out with her no matter what we watched. Gotta love cartoons, too, right!? HeMan, Scooby Doo, The Flinstones, Tom and Jerry, and most recently Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends.

Movies: My all time favorite movie is Dirty Dancing. Cheezy, I know. The Green Mile (and most anything else by Stephen King), The Nightmare Before Christmas (and all other Tim Burton flicks), The Princess Bride, anything Adam Sandler, The Illusionist, Beetlejuice, Ted, most all of Morgan Freeman's movies, The Italian Job, A Christmas Story, anything with Johnny Depp, The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. And on and on and on...

As for music I listen to just about everything. The c.d. in my car currently is Matchbox 20 - North. My other faves are: Eminem, Sublime, Aaliyah, No Doubt, Ginuwine, Chevelle, R. Kelly, Usher, Bob Marley, E-40, Total, Joe, Tyrese, Slightly Stoopid, Destiny's Child, Thompson Square, Weezer, TuPac. So basically mostly R&B and Hip Hop.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Save for the essentials, food, shelter, blah blah blah let's go with a unique response...
1. Gage, my son - He's forever teaching me how to be a better person and parent
2. Sunshine - Who hates a sunny day?
3. My pets - animals make you happy in a way nothing else does
4. My humor - It gets me through everything
5. Books to read - I'm a nerd at heart and I crave learning
6. Physical attention - I couldn't live without it
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How did OKC come up with those random tests? I mean, they are really accurate!!!

What other people are thinking about. For example - Men determine within the first five seconds of meeting a woman if they will have sex with said woman. Should women be offended? Because, I'm not...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I love to watch movies so I'm usually seeking out the local Redbox or the newest flick at the movie theater.
I love entertaining, too. Dinner and drinks at my pad with some Apples to Apples! Cards Against Humanity?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My kitchen is decorated with hens and roosters. Don't judge me! ;-)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
*Your profile doesn't say "... dating but nothing serious". Let's be real, it might as well say "I'm just in it for the sex"
*You're funny as hell and think you can keep up with my wit and sarcasm
*You're hwp; I'm 5'3" and like to be on bottom sometimes
*You have more pictures posted of you without sunglasses than with them, Everyone looks attractive in sunglasses.
*You're able to hold an intelligent conversation (or at least pretend to)
*You know at least three lame jokes
*And your penis is two inches... from the ground

OK that last one may be optional.