Every time I sit down to try to describe myself, I'm drawn toward the never-ending abyss of what I'm not. I imagine that I'm an island in the sea of the stereotypical male--that I'm decisively separate--but this approach simply involves defining myself in terms of everyone else.

Though I am unique, an individual (as is everyone else), I am still part of the whole. I am a purple grain of sand on a yellow beach. I am the four-leafed clover. I am the super nova in a distant galaxy. I would enrapture your curiosity, bedevil your ideals, infuriate your creativity, were you to ever find me. You may, however, walk on by if we were to meet on the street. Alas, this is the only notice you have that I am NOT just another traffic jam on the 405.

I discovered a passion for playing and writing music a long time ago, but that has waned since I no longer have 24-hour access to a grand piano. While I can play many instruments, I'm a pianist at heart, and without a true piano, I'm relegated to listening and singing along (keyboards and uprights just aren't the same). To the surprise of many, I never get the urge to get up and dance to music. The urge, for me, is to join in: to sing along, to beat out a rhythm on a drum, or to sit down at a piano. (It may help to note that while I am a true computer geek, I've bought myself more musical instruments than I have computers in my lifetime.)

I'm incredibly introspective, and I'm very passionate about understanding myself. I also love learning how things work--hence my fascination with mathematics. I stopped desiring to learn more math once I got to the point where I could no longer find a remotely real-world application. This desire to understand extends to computers, people, and reality in general. I'm a programmer, I enjoy studying personality theory, and my understanding of mathematics and physics has lead me to atheism.

I still have the romantic delusion that someday, I'm going to find a semi-perfect woman who likes me for whom I am.

I'm happy to have finally left Los Angeles--four years was probably two years more than I should have stayed. As of August, I'm currently between jobs. I would LOVE to be able to stay in Asheville since it's near much of my extended family (I'm the eighth generation on the same land). Between the lack of programming jobs in the area and the process of leaving everything behind in LA, I'm at that point in my life where I'm starting over--from scratch. Effectively, all I kept was my collection of books, my instruments, and my parrot; and my mom's dog ate the bird, so I don't even have that any more. I have some ideas for career paths to try out, but I don't know if I'll still think it was a good idea a year from now.

...understanding incredibly complex systems.

I'm pretty good with a camera. I have many awesome photos, but I'm always *behind* the camera. Photography was never really a hobby of mine until I got the instant gratification of a digital camera. Check it out!

I give the best hugs. Yes, I've been told that by many, many people. In case that wasn't obvious enough, I'm a hugger, and I come from a family of huggers. I even give my best high school guy-friend a big hug when I see him every few years. You can tell a lot about a relationship from the hug.

I'm a good listener, and I'm good at understanding people. I take that back. I'm *really* good at understanding people. Sometimes I catch details about people and don't even realize that they don't see it in themselves. I've had best friends apologize to me for using me as their therapist (not something you'd expect to hear from a computer geek, eh?). At the same time, I can also be completely oblivious to everything that's going on around me. I may not notice a new pair of shoes, and I may forget that I was supposed to boil two cups of salt, but I will notice the slightest change in your mood, and I definitely won't leave you stranded at the airport.

I'm really bad with new relationships--you know, that clumsy, awkward stage where I know I like you, but I haven't yet figured out if you like me too. Since there's always an insanely large amount of stuff going through my head, it's hard to write a short, flirty email when there's already soooo much I want to discuss. My profile should be a dead-giveaway that any email you get from me is not likely to be brief. Apparently, I'm also not particularly good at figuring out who's worth the effort of an email (after all, I'm still on here updating my profile).

I'm told that I'm really good with kids. I guess if kids are usually excited to see me, that probably means I am.

I'm told it's my laugh. I've even had improv actors stop on stage and say, "Thanks Hank," when I was apparently the only person in the audience laughing. Yes, this means I've frequented a few improv groups enough that they know me by name *and* my laugh. My bird has started laughing like me (in his own way). It's impossible to stop giggling when he's hiding under my jacket and spitting out his staccato quacks.

Depending on the environment, though, I might also just be the quiet guy that's on the edge of the group paying attention to everything to see what's interesting--like the girl that's obviously interested in the guy, but the guy clearly has no clue.

I imagine no one ever actually reads these entire lists, so I'm going to keep these lists nice and short.

Books: I've read all of the Harry Potter books, most of Michael Crichton's books, most of Richard Feynman's, and one or two of Richard Dawkins and Michael Shermer--amongst many other books. Fahrenheit 451 was nothing like 1984. I'm still mad that Bella didn't wind up with Jake.

Movies: 100 Girls (no really, it's WAY better than the trailer makes it out to be), Fight Club, The Matrix, 10 Things I Hate About You, The Sixth Sense, Primer, A Walk to Remember, The Princess Bride, The Shawshank Redemption, Coyote Ugly, Good Will Hunting, Kinsey, The Notebook

TV Shows (even though I don't have a TV): Lost, Battlestar Galactica, Heroes, Greek, The Sara Conner Chronicles, Castle, Cupid

Music: Coldplay, Dave Matthews Band, Indigo Girls, Imogen Heap, KT Tunstall, The Veronicas, Snow Patrol, Goo Goo Dolls, 3 Doors Down, Avril Lavigne, Aly & AJ, Nickel Creek, Chris Thile, Nickelback, Michelle Branch, Vanessa Carlton, Mae, Muse, Backstreet Boys, Linkin Park, Sia, Jason Mraz, John Mayer, Mandy Moore, Nine Inch Nails, Pearl Jam, Santana. I'm well aware that some people will seriously judge me for some of the artists that I've listed here. That's why I listed them. If you're so closed-minded as to judge me as a person based on the fact that I've listed "Nickelback" or "Mandy Moore," then you can waste away the rest of your life in your limited selection of Beck and Radiohead for all I care. I'll be enjoying my Beethoven and Camille Saint-Saëns. (btw, "Loser" brings back semi-fond memories of my first middle-school "love")

Food: I don't like vegetables, and I try to avoid dairy. I buy a decent amount of fresh fruit every week and share it with my bird. I have an incredibly high tolerance for spicy food, so if you have none, we'll have difficulties. I was a vegetarian for five years (ovo lacto). Combining my lack of appreciation for most vegetables with being somewhat lactose intolerant means that I couldn't do it again.

I think this movie quote pretty well sums it up:

"There are only four questions of value in life, Don Octavio: what is sacred, of what is the spirit made, what is worth living for, and what is worth dying for. The answer to each is the same: only love."

Alternatively, I could go very basic and add to these four: quantum electrodynamics and gravity.

I think that about covers everything of any importance. ;)

The origin of the universe, evolutionary theory, and evidence for the existence (or lack thereof) of God. I was raised in a pretty fundamentalist Christian household--with speaking in tongues and everything. Since I've gone against the beliefs of the vast majority of my family, I often feel I need to support my own lack of belief, so I do quite a bit of reading. Did I mention that my dad is a preacher?

Also, I think a lot about what makes people work the way they do, including figuring out why I'm the way I am. I really enjoy taking the tests on here, as every once in a while, I learn something new about myself, and I learn more things that make me different from everyone else.

I think a lot about how Brawndo has what plants need. It's got electrolytes.

Hanging out with friends, watching a movie, reading a book, playing my guitar or mandolin, surfing the web... all at once, while trying to keep my bird from pooping on my shoulder. ;)

Or, I might just be on here updating my profile.

I'm not just an atheist; I believe there is no god. (That's actually NOT a redundant statement.)

Oh, and I cry during incredibly cheesy, unrealistic love stories. Don't tell anyone. kthx. ó.ò

I believe I heard this phrase on NPR: I'm a "serial confessor." Yes, I'll likely tell you anything and everything, even if I'm shooting myself in the foot in the process.

• you crave meaningful human interaction and contact.
• you thought my profile counted as such so far.
• you like hugs.
• you won't be offended if I'm smarter than you.
• you just thought, "right, you won't be smarter than me."
• you know who Richard Feynman was.
• you followed the movie "Primer."
• you have root.
• you don't believe that the date my parents were having the most productive sex has any effect on my personality.