Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I can never keep these profile essays short and to the point. I'm a
big communicator ( my way of say that I talk too damn much), which
is reflected in anything that I write about myself. I'll try to
keep this one under an hour long read. Where do I begin? I'm 33
single (by choice), never married with two beautiful, but
unemployed daughters, ages 14 and 4. I'm not here in the pursuit of
love and the like, so if I contact you, please understand that I'm
not actively looking for specifically that. I'd like to meet
someone with the potential to cure me of my commitaphobia'ness, but
I'm not going to beat my head against the proverbial wall in
attempts to find her. With that being said, I would like to meet
someone that I can talk with and get to know, outside of that I try
to refrain from expectations and agendas.
I want this profile to be an honest and 1,000% accurate portrayal
of who I am and to truthfully express what it is that I want. The
whole "gettingtoknowya" process can be much like a job interview.
We've all been there, met a potential "employee" that says and does
all of the right things initially, but when their truisms come to
light you realize that you've been hoodwinked and bamboozled (said
in my Denzel Washington as Malcolm X voice). I never want to do
that, by that I mean to swindle someone into liking me. I want to
be liked and accepted, but it's important, no it's essential to me
that I be liked for who I am and what I can offer. I don't believe
in selling myself or misrepresenting my intentions just to win
someone over, or to be blunt to get some from you. I could type on
for hours telling you about how honest and genuine I am, but that
would be a waste of time for me to do and you to read. If you're
interested in knowing more about me...if for no other reason say
hello and have a few laughs with me or at my expense. I can show
you much better than I can tell you who I am.
I kept it under an hour! I'm damn proud of myself :)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Besides spending a beautiful Sunday afternoon on this devil box
filling out this ultra involved profile? I'm trying to be the best
father to my girls (I have two crumb snatching tax deductions). I
want to be the same type of provider, character and discipline
builder to my daughters that my parents were to me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing out long winded, kick ass self essays on free dating
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My chocolate'ish, moderately decent looks and chubby boy charm.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favorite books....ones that I can use to get the attention of the
smarty, artsy, prescription eyeglass wearers at the local Caribou
Coffee. The right book can make even the biggest moron look
Favorite movies....Anything not associated with that spawn of Satan
Tyler Perry! I know that I'm going to lose points with some
(because all black women love his god awful, terribly predictable
coon flicks), but I'd rather shoot myself than watch another one of
his movies or shows. So no we can't get Madea goes to community
college from the Red Box on our first date.
Favorite shows...Martin, The Wire, The First 48, Snapped, 48 Hours
on ID. I'm a huge fan of true crime documentary series, so my TV
stays on ID, Tru TV, and A&E. I also love the HBO series
Boardwalk Empire, it's maybe the best show since The Wire. I loved
the Boondocks and Curb Your Enthusiasm as well.
Favorite musics...Yes, I said musics. I'm a huge, huge music buff,
so I have too many favorite artists and genres to list. I listen to
and own a little bit of everything from classic rock, to old school
jheri curl era soul music, to country, to the most gully west coast
gangsta rap music from the mid 90's.
Favorite foods...I'm an overall fan of good ol' "make you fat and
sleepy" American heart attack specials. I really don't do anything
exotic. I'm a regular Joe when it comes to food consumption, so a
tasty Big Kahuna burger and Sprite works just fine for me.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My iPod, my family (sans my worthless older brother), my sweater
vest and ties, my love of music and sports, my Snapple raspberry
iced tea packets, and my once mighty, now mediocre Miami
Hurricanes....We're coming back!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I spend a lot of time thinking about work...My decision to make a
career change from something that I did and knew very well to
something that I have zero experience in and to be quite honest
that I'm not very good or proficient at. I think that I made the
right decision and ultimately I'll have a successful career, but
I'd be lying if I said that I didn't think about work and what my
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
If I'm not at work, I'm probably at home getting down on random
homebody activities such as "stealing" music for my iPod. My inner
cheapskate won't permit me to pay for music on iTunes. During the
fall I'm usually at high school football games on Friday nights.
There's nothing better to me than early autumn weather, cheap
concession stand nachos and hot dogs, and the collection of mini
van owning milf types in the bleachers at Polk High football games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm only here to convert you....Yes you, into a chubby chaser!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you like chocolate (yes, that is an innuenda). You should
message me if guys that dress like Carlton Banks turn you on. If
you prefer buddha bellies to six pack abs you message me. If you
can recognize and appreciate the humor and smartcasticness of the
content of this "sales pitch" you should definitely message.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.