Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’m an a**hole. Do not expect me to open doors for you. In fact,
beware as I will likely trip you if you try to go in front of me. I
expect you to prepare home cooked meals and clean up my mess after
I eat. By the way, I’m a very messy eater. Food all over the floor,
the furniture, but mostly my clothes. You will find my socks and
underwear on the floor wherever I took them off and yes, they
stink. I refuse to do laundry and insist that you do it for me.
Don’t just leave that sh*t in the dryer. Everything should be
ironed, neatly folded, and put in its proper place when you’re
finished. Your other duties will include, but not be limited to,
making sure the fridge is stocked with cold beer and have a spare
pack of smokes on you at all times. However, never attempt to light
my cigarette or open my beers. I’m a grown a** man and can do
things for myself. Also, I don’t do romance. It simply takes too
much time, effort, and money. I will be expecting action on the
first date, big time action. No I will not be sleeping over and yes
this will be at your place because I don’t want you knowing where I
live. Plus my parents don’t tolerate visitors or loud noises after
9pm. Apparently I’m supposed to address these four points in order
to be successful here and not waste my time.
List my hobbies – punching babies, removing the whiskers from
kittens, and tripping elderly people.
Express my goals – obtain my GED so I can be promoted to into
management. KFC has a very strict policy on this.
Mention what makes me unique – I have three testicles
Taste in music – It’s a toss-up between the Worthless Peons and
Gary & the Tone Rangers.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Saving up my welfare money so I can move out of my parents house
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not being terrible at anything
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That I do not have a Guatemalan accent
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Dr. Suess, I practice my words everyday. I don't watch TV because I
can't afford cable. Thanks to my food stamps I get plenty of milk,
eggs, and cheese.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the
matches, for sure. That's all I need. The ashtray, the remote
control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What ever happened to Screech and how to post things on the line.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Sitting at home alone because I'm a loser and have no friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Life is too short to take serious. If you are not LYAO then
(depending on your reading level) you have just wasted a couple
minutes of your life because we will not get along. However, if you
are still reading this and are bored with repetition on this site
send me a message ;)
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.