Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy

Laceums14

25 F Benicia, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 2:57am
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 5″ (1.65m)
Body Type
Jacked
Diet
Mostly vegetarian
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from space camp
Job
Other
Income
More than $1,000,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

Similar Users

My self-summary
For now we are young, let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see.
I’m really good at
Fort building, making mac and cheese from the box, procrastinating, brunching, ping ponging, corn on the cob eating, dog/cat petting, grilled cheese making, back scratching, nose picking, providing way too many details, being far too awkward, accidentally drinking too much and making a fool of myself, hide and seeking, somersaulting, tripping over things (usually my own feet), cuddling your brains out, counting sheep, taking waayy too long getting out of cars (I have bad hips!), sundaes, naked dance parties, lasers, standing on my tip toes, buttering toast (sometimes).
The first things people usually notice about me
I hope, I hope, I hope it's my booty!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I enjoy wes anderson, aronofsky, coppola (of the Sofia variety), fincher, woody allen, appatow, van sant, kubrick, miranda july (when the eff is she coming out with a new one??), lynch and a bunch more. The sandlot. Homeward Bound. Milo & Otis. Some of my favorite writers are vonnegut, camus, sartre, kafka, eggars, kerouack, bukowski, wallace, steinbeck, salinger, plath, suess, etc.

I have mad love for everything from the mountain goats to kanye. Some favorites that come to mind: sufjan stevens, the shins, elliott smith, fiona apple, bob dylan, jay-z, jenny lewis/rilo, death cab/postal, radiohead, johnny cash, biggie, paul simon, the smiths, arcade fire, pac, neutral milk hotel, jeff buckley, nina simone, feist, leonard cohen, nick drake, iron & wine, etc., etc.

I have not had television for a while but a few faves are: curb your enthusiasm, breaking bad, freaks and geeks, parks and rec, girls, sunny, ORANGUTAN ISLAND, the puppy bowl, shark week (and most animal planet television), pete and pete, Doug, salute your shorts, taxi cab confessions, boy meets world, food network/cooking channel television, antiques roadshow, etc.

I really cannot think of anything I inherently doughnut like aside from green olives. Mango isn't my favorite, but I'm learning to like it better as of late. The spicier, the better (IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN)! I love meat (IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT!) but doughnut eat it for ethical reasons, and my favorite cuisine is thanksgiving food (green bean casserole, candied yams, cranberry goop, mashed potatoes & gravy, etc.) Fresh fruits, vegetables and creative ways to combine the two are a must, as are burritos with lots and lots of green sauce. Oooh, breakfast burritos! Green fruit and veggie smoothies are my favorite. I also very much enjoy fudgsicles and fruit leather for snacking. Cheese, please.

I love grapes and oranges, however, I think most grape and orange flavored things are a waste of time (with the exception of orange soda and grape drink, "that purple stuff," obviously.)
The six things I could never do without
you
me
this
that
the other
avocad...oh?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Death and what it is to exist, contrasting and comparing where I should be in life and where I actually am, the future, the past, Jesse Pinkman's impeccable teeth, my cat, why I could never get my bangs to look like zooey deschanel's, how I wish I were smarter, prettier, wittier, more talented, etc., if it is okay to eat a four day old burrito, my fears (including but not limited to: car/plane crashes, earthquakes, fires, parasites, bridges, rip currents, mosquitoes, bees, typhoons, spiders in my bed, broken glass, murderers, needles, dying alone), mashed potatoes.
On a typical Friday night I am
eating a choco taco (s).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I once ate half a stick butter for $10 when I was a pup. This does NOT mean I will eat a whole stick for $20.

Sometimes I get ear wax in my ears and boogers in my nose.

I put food in my purse when I go to buffets.
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 21–100
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
You enjoy naked dance parties complete with fancy cheese and wine
You want to share your grandma or grandpa and will let me borrow them whenever I want
You tip well and have impeccable manners
You know who dropped the screw in the tuna
You like coffee at night and booze in the morning
You put your pants on two legs at a time
You do not have a picture of yourself posing in the mirror with your shirt off
You do not have a picture of yourself posing in the mirror with your shirt off (twice for emphasis)
You enjoy pea coats, cardigans and slipper sockz
You know how to cook delicious food to fill my tum and can teach me your tricks
You help the elderly cross the street and/or carry groceries on the daily
You like elephants and orangutans
You have a hilarious joke or anecdote you want to share
You own a onesie (or two. one for me, one for you)
Sometimes you just feel nostalgic for high school and want to pick up a couple of mickey's 40's and brown bag it in the parking lot of a movie theatre (because you're CLASSY)
You want to have my children