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23 Cupertino, CA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 21–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Apr 29
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body type
Mostly anything
When drinking
Atheism, and laughing about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Less than $20,000
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and dislikes cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay), C++ (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.







I am only looking for new friends at this point, because I never had friends growing up and have no idea how to make them in real life. I have decided I do not have time for a romantic attachment, and no interest in casual sex.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I bartend at a pretty cool place, so cool I can't tell you where it is because you'll go there. Maybe you already have. It is the coolest place. My ultimate career goal is to be one of those girls that guys pay to eat food on Skype so they can watch. As of yet, this has not materialized, so I'm still making drinks.

De Anza, so not like it's real college or anything. Don't ask me about my plans with school, I don't take it very seriously. All I will tell you is that I am not pursuing a bullshit major. If you're getting a bachelor's in Psychology, Art, or Communication or something like that, we should probably not talk. I am terrible at all of them and we probably have nothing in common.

In what little free time I have, I do things that are not school or work. Sometimes. Rarely. Almost Never. I like Memrise and RunDouble. I also like to paint miniatures for Dungeons and Dragons, which I play once a week with more regularity than anything else in my life.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
making friends, sometimes
making myself seem more interesting than I feel
hiding my existential dread with self-deprecating humor
being funny, sometimes
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I frequently move unnecessarily, spinning on one foot when a shift in weight would do. Economy of movement is for work and working out.

I have one of those voices that girls get when they're afraid of being too girly throughout their childhood.

Spontaneous acts of rebellious beauty and random acts of unwise kindness are my finest moments.

My worst are breaking down and listening to bad, bad music.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books- Steppenwolf. Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Snow Crash. I have three books I am reading at any given time and I finish them all very very slowly despite reading fairly quickly. I'm rarely comfortable discussing books until I've finished them. I have a Kindle because I get really self-conscious about people asking what I'm reading, or trying to comment on it because they've read it themselves, or making book recommendations, or actually just talking to me in general a lot of the time. Not that I'm not friendly, I just don't want to talk, a lot of the time? I can't spend an hour on the phone. I don't have the attention span.

Short story- The Country of the Blind, by H.G. Wells

Poem- The Tyger, by William Blake. Howl, by Allen Ginsberg.

Movies - Gattaca, Equilibrium, V for Vendetta. Anything Tarantino breathes on. I don't consider myself an intellectual, no. I've watched Dead Poet's Society like six times. Not on purpose, it just happened that way.

Music - I LISTEN ONLY TO POST-ROCKCORE COMPOSED ON THE ELECTRUM AXE-LYRES OF A SPECIFIC CLASS OF ANGELIC WHORE-GUARDIANS. Everything else I like only accidentally. I like Jeff Buckley, Rush, Blind Guardian, Wu Tang Clan, Die Antwoord, Uncle Tupelo, Nirvana, The Flaming Lips, Peaches, and I've had the Space Jam theme stuck in my head on-and-off for the past fifteen years. Warning, I may be quirky. Definitely not your Manic Pixie, though. Usually more of a panicked mixie.

I enjoy crunchy food, crisp food, savory food, and bittersweet drinks. Not a huge fan of greasy, most of the time. I've gotten into sous-vide cooking lately because my housemate has a cool immersion circulator thing and well-prepared steaks are amazing. If you're veg*n or *tarian or kosher or halal or whatever that's cool, but I don't change my diet for anything except allergies.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Six strings play on a guitar and sound like thunder
Six degrees of turbulence or separation.
Six numbers a die, to keep my sense of wonder
Six ways to orient and find my location.
Six feet of dirt that I'll put your body under-
Six cans a pack bury your manifestation.

(translation: music, creativity, games, adventure/exploration/wandering, violent threats, alcohol.)
I also enjoy overly structured poetry that is not necessarily aesthetically pleasing.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I don't think. Thinking is for squares. All my decisions are made via coin flip. Sometimes it just takes a lot of them. Aren't binary searches grand?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
• The same person I am every night, Pinkie. Trying to take over the world.
• in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion,
• drunkenly answering OkCupid messages. This could also be any other night.
• dressing up like a hipster, making fun of my exes, ohOH
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It freaks me out that I've been out of high school longer than I was in high school. I hated it, but it freaks me out to be older, even though I am relatively young relative to average human life spans. I spend a lot of time convincing myself I still have potential, or crying because I'm not that pretty and I'm only going to get less pretty as time goes on, even though I recognize that behavior as completely irrational.

I don't like pizza or cake(still kinda skinnyfat though), I'm prone to snap judgments, I am a little bit obsessive about alles in Ordnung, I get really bad anxiety.

Oh, and I answered that a kilometer is longer than a mile. It's a longer word, now isn't it?! I'm aware of the distance comparison, but I am a special snowflake, even if I am made of the same decaying organic matter as everyone else.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you are looking for someone to help you on some secret spy mission, or go with you on time travel adventures, or something fun like that, hit me up. I want to go dance, but not really dance, more like oscillate my arms and writhe suggestively to a beat in a dark room that smells really bad. I've never done that before, I feel like I should.

Things I like in a friend:
-Sends messages with original content.
-Time spent developing interests, hobbies, your own social circle, and positive personality traits instead of crying while listening to The Shins or The Cure(depending on your age group)
-Interest in obscure bullshit that nobody else has time for and understanding that I do too and it might not overlap but that is okay.

Things I dislike:
-Identifying as organized-religious, MRA, otaku.
-One line messages.


*** REVIEWS***
This exists to give you a crash course in what it's like to be me on OkCupid.

"Can I make it on your review list" -super_nachosXD

"You seem like a bitch. The okcupid system is totally fucked if YOU have a thousand messages. Enjoy it because we know you made this profile because you don't get approached by guys in public. Get over yourself! You're like a 3 out of 10 on a good day. Piss off rathead." -shredhead84

"You have hands-down THE best profile on this goddang website, if not the whole of the internet (well, maybe not better that Maddox), and i'm not just saying this to get on your review section there. I don't know think i really knew what i was looking for (other than the obvious), until i landed here. THANK YOU (weeps)" -BayArea_nomad

"Writes a lot but well, I only fell asleep once. Appears very fun in person and makes me happy knowing interesting people still exist. Reviews thing is brilliant, brought real LOLZ." -coolsexguy420

"Where do they make girls like you?" -CleverCleat

"I'm trying to decide if I like you. You're offensive, crude, and to be honest, probably psychotic. However, I'm turned on and OKcupid says you're a 99% match. What the fuck." -JimboJenkins

- "I know you like to think you're a paragon of logic and reason amongst the peasantry here but you aren't. You aren't any more original than the dozens of other girls here who take a stab at being pseudo-intellectual with their "You're a douche" this and their "You're a loser" that." -Tomacuni

""I don't want to meet you. I'm almost certain that you can shoot laser beams from your eyes, or some other ungodly power that would make me cry. But if that day does come where we inadvertently meet gazes at the local supermarket, I expect our battle to be legendary. If - against all odds - we both survive, perhaps we can be friends. Because FRIENDSHIP IS FUCKING MAGIC. HAHAHA" -vietnaflip

"it's like I'm dating a nerdy girl who could be featured in Mortal Kombat." -Bodudus

"VictorianXVixen gave me: Smarter Than The Average Bear
Awarded Apr 21, 2010
“The conversations I have had with this girl have been nothing more than humorous and enlightening. I'm happy to see that there are still some smart people out there in cyberspace who deserve to honestly be called nerdy.

I love the talks we've had about lolita fashion and the different things she does for fun. She's really a great conversationalist, and I'm always down for talking to her about anything. She makes me smile, and I genuinely enjoy talking to her.



SeeElleAyeEff gave me: Friends In Real Life
Awarded Jun 8
“She makes herself sound like pretty much the coolest chick ever in her profile, but she pretty much is.”


Mobius-Strip gave me: The Great Date
Awarded Aug 19
“This one time, she and I were having a battle to the death on top of Mt. Olympus.

I was given the Trident of Poseidon, and she was calling her bro Zeus for his lightning rod. Zeus was a bitch and told her to get her own, so she kicked him in the teeth and stole his lightning so we could continue our battle.

More epicness ensued, and we even got a battle choir going in the background with a drum set and a bunch of other cool shit.

OUT OF FUCKING NOWEHERE! A horde of alien/werewolf/vampire/faerie/zombies fell from the sky and started attacking us... they killed one of the guys in the choir, and that shit just ain't cool... so we spent the rest of the day killing the entire horde of whateverthefucks.

It was a pretty meh day for the both of us.”


queenofghey gave me: The Perfect Mix
Awarded Sep 5
“This lady is my #1 dude and she doesn't give a FUCK. She's the greatest friend I've had in a long time and one of the best and strongest people I know. If you so much as THINK about messing with her, well, she'll kick your ass but I'LL WATCH AND CHEER HER ON”


Sick_Profile_Bro gave me: The Great Date
Awarded Sep 26
“I wouldn't know anything about dating LadyErrant because she'd never go for a guy like me or anything in any way, but if I were to date her, I bet it would be the greatest thing ever, like a Yeti with jackhammers for hands. Or if the Earth had two moons, and one of those moons could talk and it was really loud but it was okay because it told funny jokes sometimes so everybody liked it.

Yeah, it would definitely be something like that.”


digitalia gave me: Smarter Than The Average Bear
Awarded Oct 15

“Does words well and gives zero fucks. A++ would perv again.”