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43 Brooklyn, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25-50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Nov 25
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Average build
Special Diet
Judaism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
Has cats
English (Fluently), Chinese (Somewhat), French (Somewhat), Hebrew (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
After about 50 or 60 waste-of-time-no-in-person-chemistry dates from this site, I am going to take a different tactic:

I think that online dating is bullshit. Let me explain myself and then, if you are still interested in either meeting me or fucking me, please by all means contact me:

I have tried genuinely, over and over again, to find a REAL connection with a woman via this site and there is always something to sabotage that effort. Maybe 90% of the time, there is simply no kind of physical attraction in person, even though we both might look exactly like our photos and we both really dig each other's written profiles.

The issue with online dating as I see it is that it sets up an artificial scenario destined to fail from the start because it reverses the logical order of the universe.

In "the real world," FIRST you see someone in person and determine whether you are attracted to him or her based on their physical appearance, the clothes they are wearing, the sound of their voice, the way they move their body, the way they carry themselves and interact with other people, the way they smell -- all of these things are intangible and have nothing to do with what anyone can write in an online dating profile.

In the real world, all of this happens in an instant, AND THEN we make a decision whether to speak to this magical new person, based on some kind of very real, immediate interest or lack thereof. After we speak to this new person and are lucky enough to get their number and go out on a date or several, THEN we get to know the person further and figure out whether it might be "a match" based on deeper concerns.

Online dating reverses this process and though it might work for some people, it hasn't worked for me so far. THIS is where I am coming from, and this is why I think this process is bullshit.

Over the past 12 years or so, I have been out on over 110 online dates with different NYC women from various websites and yet all but one of my 15 or so girlfriends I have had since I started dating 25 years ago have come from in-person meetings and in-person initial attractions.

I would love for someone to prove me wrong, but I am not very hopeful.

If you are still interested in me, by all means, read my elaborate, very well-contructed OkC profile below and contact me. If I am attracted to your photos and what you have to say, I WILL definitely write you back.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My life is in flux. My life has been in flux for several years and will continue to be in flux for several more.

Concisely, I graduated with honors a million years ago from Duke University and won an award for my thesis there. I moved to NYC in 1998 to pursue my dream of becoming a professional singer songwriter. Along the way, I also studied recording engineering and production. I was published 10 times in a major pro audio magazine as a writer/interviewer. I networked a lot and took a lot of classes and seminars for years, and then from 2007-2014, I was a member of the artist management team of a very famous older recording artist who was voted one of Rolling Stone Magazine's 100 most important female rockstars of all time.

I managed her office; was her dedicated in-house worldwide travel agent for a 16-piece touring ensemble for almost 5 years; did most of her high-level business correspondence and some of her contracts; and I executive produced her 2012 Christmas album.

This job came to an end 1 year ago, and after some months of soul-searching and 3 back to back deaths in my family, I am right now starting my own consulting company as well as selling everything I own that I have not used in the past year in order to declutter my life and make space for my new business.

I am scattered. I procrastinate a lot. I am interested in a lot of things. I can speak 6 languages to varying levels of proficiency and my current main interest/hobby is learning to read Chinese. I hope to take my Chinese and other languages to professional levels in the coming years, and I would like to go to grad school for language and linguistics.

I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Music business stuff.
Studying and speaking various languages.
World travel.
Deep thinking.
Intense conversations.
Sexy stuff.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have very small eyes, big teeth and a lot of chest hair.

I suppose I have a nice smile, thanks to 7 years of braces when I was a kid.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I read a lot of books on linguistics as well as on the history of jazz and pop music and the recording industry.

My favorite novel is Jack London's Martin Eden. I am currently rereading Joyce's Ulysses -- this time while taking an audio course taught by a professor of English at Dartmouth so I can hopefully appreciate the novel this second time around.

I think that Alan Moore's writing in book 4 of Watchmen is the most beautiful use of the English language I have ever encountered. Every time I reread it, it literally makes me cry. TS Eliot's "Prufrock" might be tied with Moore in my heart of hearts.

I am very passionate about vintage kung fu movies, and have a huge DVD collection as well as many books on the genre. My favorite is The 36th Chamber of Shaolin from Shaw Brothers. It is one of the most inspiring films I have ever seen.

I am a sucker for romantic comedies (mostly because my own love life is so utterly pathetic). I have a soft spot in my heart for Disney / Pixar animated films as well as Harry Potter movies -- especially if they are overdubbed into another language. Frozen in Cantonese is amazing.

I watched every directorial effort by Alfred Hitchcock (including all of his television episodes and TV films) during a 2 month hiatus from work in 2014. I am slowly doing the same with Roger Corman movies right now.

Not surprisingly given my love of all things Chinese, one of my favorite types of cuisine is Cantonese food, which I often eat with my friends, classmates and students. I also like Thai food, and am constantly in search of a burger deluxe that will change my view of the world. My favorite food by far, though, is seafood, in particular shellfish -- shrimp, calamari, octopus, crabs, clams, etc. Love, love, love it.

I am an adventurous eater and recently started sprinkling cricket flour on my baked potatoes and salads at home to make life more interesting.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My cats Squeaky and Munchkin, and the memory of my other cat Stinkie, who just passed away at age 16.
Languages and travel.
My friends.
My family.
Deeply green vegetables and seafood.
Faith in myself and my life direction.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How far I have come, and how far I want to go.

I have never really felt "normal." I have always felt slightly out of place, slightly out of step -- that I somehow don't really "fit in" -- except for maybe when I spent time in Scotland during college and then again in Hong Kong last year and the year before.

I want to meet a woman who also feels that something is "off" with her life -- that she doesn't really fit into a cookie cutter mold cast by corporate America or by the expectations of her friends and family. Maybe together we can help each other's lives make a bit more sense than before.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I am a very independent guy, but it would be nice to share my Friday nights with a cute lady who would also want to share her Friday nights with me.

I don't drink much, but will be cool with you drinking socially as long as you are equally cool with me most likely not.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Chickflicks sometimes make me cry...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you have read this and can visualize yourself naked with me.

I suppose that ideally, I hope to find a cute, sexy geek girl with glasses and some hidden tattoo or piercing -- a total nerd / dork girl who collects comic books, is somewhat (endearingly) goofy or socially awkward, and who can quote strange bits of trivia about cult films or some other obscure pop culture reference, AND YET WHO transforms into an irresistible seductress by simply removing her spectacles.