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99 Uniondale, NY Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 30–45
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 6:29pm
Relationship Type
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Not at all
Other and it’s important
Post grad
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
English (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"Open-minded" - Open brain surgery monthly magazine
"If I were gay, I'd date him" - Ricky Gervais
"HIs OKC posts are like car accidents, dangerous, traumatic. yet somehow, I can't look away" - Mary Fanny, a Larry Fan
"He's like a son to me" - God
"He's not eye candy, he's mind candy" - Game enthusiast. com
"If you are looking for someone who drives fast cars, loves 'loose' women, has a temper and doesn't care about you, this is DEFINETLY not the man for you" - Editor at 'low IQ weekly'.

Yep, the reviews are in ladies, Larry is a well balanced, driven, motivated, edumacated, healthy, fun, smart, (looks up positive adjectives online...) well-rounded man who can't tell you a thing about the American penal system from personal experience. He's got a high IQ and shoe size to match (Giggidy). Drug free, employed and only the second generation standing upright; getting to know him is like being born, opening your eyes for the first time, then crying your eyes out for hours on end... in a good way.

"He's a blast" Fireworks enthusiast.

Tickets are going fast, reserve your seats now for a first date, but you'll only need the edge!

If you didn't amuse you, stop reading here and please exit stage right.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Just passed my state license exam, now I'm a licensed therapist and my CASAC (Certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor) exam. I help others achieve a life free of drugs and alcohol and find inner peace... I also have my own youtube channel as of July 2014.

If you care about science fiction or sociology/psychology/culture:

If should probably skip this, it may bore you to tears.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
A lot of things most people don't care about... and kissing. Oh, and I'm modest... you figure it out.

I like diversity so I prefer interracial dating. If I wanted to date someone just like me, I believe the app for that is called a mirror.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
That my profile changes weekly. Check back next week to see if Larry's fantasy Ballet team wins the word cup against the barbarian horde (hint- the advisor is not to be trusted).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Now that Jon Stewart has left the Daily show, I watch 2 shows, The Nightly Show and Last Week tonight. I do watch a lot of youtube though. Epic Rap Battles, Nostalgia Critic, Sci-show, HISHE, Honest trailers, Bat in the Sun, Darkmatter2525, Rhett and Link... so many channels, so few you've probably heard of.

As for food, I'm an eater and by no means picky. Korean, Thai, German, Martian, Indian, Persian, and yes, Italian among many.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I don't intend to spend my time on this planet collecting serial numbers affixed to portraits of dead US patriots. Money may buy one freedom, but it doesn't buy one happiness, and I'm already happy, thus money is not one of those 6 things.

As for what they are...opposable thumbs, vowels, the number 327, a strange sense of humor, good conversation and the complex nuances that drive me to both reproduce and abstain from said reproduction on a daily basis.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How the women with the most makeup, the fakest pushed-up boobs, the hair extensions, fake eye lashes, the plastic surgery, and the instagram-filtered pictures are the first ones to say they are looking for a "real man"? And what is a "real man" anyhow? I have a penis and a "Y" chromosome. I'm as real as it gets :D

Come on, admit it, that was funny...some people have no sense of humor.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Either unlocking the secrets of the human mind, or working on my next youtube video.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I know the answer to "Which came first, the chicken or the egg." No BS, no tricks, yes I know the answer, and I'm willing to bet you do too.

And to prove women don't read this far on profiles, I've had this up for over a month and ONLY TWO woman have asked me what the answer is.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you use words like "awesometacular, truthiness, bat-shit, or cognitive dissonance" in your day to day life. Or you want someone who won't talk down to you, won't treat you like property, will consider you an equal, won't ever slap you around, and will never come home drunk. But if those things float your boat, you probably won't know what to do with me anyhow. Good luck in your search!