I am probably quite an interesting person; be prepared to marvel at how bland I have managed to make this profile!

Once again, it is time for a change! I've just moved to Worksop, and have found myself in some rather lovely accommodation. I am pleased to have been joined by my sofa bed; we go back a long way, and have shared many marginally exciting times together. (It's just my single sofa bed: my double sofa bed and I have been through so much more together, but I need space, and he won't let me have it, on account of him being physically too large for this room.)

I am packing my life full of all of the interesting things I really, really want to do. Life's too short not to make the most of it, so I try not to do things I'm not particularly enthusiastic about. Happily, most of my life is fun right now. These past few months, a lot of the reason I have enjoyed myself is because I have jolly well decided to enjoy myself, but that still counts.

The hobbies I consider important enough to pursue include dyeing, spinning and weaving, climbing (although: argh, and all that: Worksop isn't exactly bursting with climbing walls, is it?) and making things which are non-woollen, such as, in theory, a tool box. It will be amazing, with drawers and stuff.

I am also partial to a spot of Buffy, and an example of a good evening involves a good friend (I have a small selection approved for Buffy), Buffy, and my spinning wheel. The wheel is also interchangeable with wine, although different results occur.

Other than that, I am considering doing some serious piano practice, after an incident recently involving me, a gorgeous piano, an amazing acoustic, and a clear lack of right notes. The dynamics, at least, were worth listening to. My keyboard skills are more-or-less workable; my piano repertoire is dismal.

More relevantly, I play a rather larger keyboard instrument - the one with three keyboards (although I am open to any number between one and seven) and a pedal board (although no pedal board works, too), with all the pipes and the name which can lead to questionable search results when used in Google. Apparently. That is my favourite instrument. One day I shall get a key to one around here, and then I can freeze off my fingers whenever I choose!

I'm excellent at removing dirt from items, which I now don't do as often as I used to. But when I do, boy do those items sparkle! I also have a history of producing the most wonderfully photocopied handouts.

Do those not interest you? OK, then, let's move on to some other things. I am relatively musical, and can make many things produce pleasing noises and harmonies. I can make many things out of many other things (e.g. bagpipes out of a cushion, four recorders, a chanter, some string, some tartan fabric and some curtain tie-backs). My cooking tends to be appreciated (my dithering about what to cook less so), and I am excellent at buying excellent kitchen items, although I now have most of them so that's slowed down somewhat.

I give good backrubs, and can apparently listen well. Sometimes I even manage not to attempt to solve problems, but provide a sympathetic ear instead! My skills: they are evolving. I am good at helping people and taking responsibility for solving problems. I am, alas, not good at being succinct with what I write, although I am very good at repeating words within paragraphs in a way which makes my internal editor cringe. (She is a fierce woman, and I do not like to cross her.)

I am good at moving house and arriving at the other end looking as though moving house is an acceptable thing for a person to do. (It is not.)

It seems that people get the impression that I am intelligent. Often, they probably get the impression that I am a happy, smiley sort of person; occasionally they do not. They may also perceive me to be somewhat direct...

Books: crime, mostly. Also Terry Pratchett. I fell in love with "The Night Circus", by Erin Morgenstern, and should probably re-read it. Anything written in a style that I like tends to please me - people who tell a good story can be quite captivating.

Movies: Dogma. Miss Congeniality, although please don't ask me to watch it again. Films which carry me along nicely, don't have too many technical inaccuracies, and don't have scenes of mild suspense or horror, as the suspense tends to be too much for me, and the horror bores me. Violence doesn't interest me. Actually, LOTR has its moments, although the battle scenes are harder to skip over in the film than the books, and less easy to be interested in. Also, they threw in a few plot changes just for the hell of it, which annoyed me. However, I rarely have the patience to sit down and watch TV or movies nowadays. I mostly only do it when I am spinning wool and need something to do with my ears.

Music: anything with gorgeous harmonies. I particularly love Muse, Durufle and Debussy. Although not Muse's latest album, which displeases me. It all seems a bit old; as though it's been done before. Ooh - but The Divine Comedy is always good.

Food: I have a soft spot for tofu in Schezuan sauce. I actually like a lot of Chinese food, although I don't do soy sauce or most noodles, alas. Indian food pleases me, also. Soup can be excellent. Pancakes are nearly always good, as long as they are gluten-free (alas); clafoutis is even better.

A musical instrument that I can actually play to some extent (OK, so I can technically do without this, but I get really twitchy. Which means that right now I am really twitchy.)
Enough sleep
The possibility of good company
Something to do with my hands
A large space which I can more or less call my own
Something good to read
(God doesn't fit into this list on account of not being a thing. K?)

Why there isn't enough time to fit everything in; why I made such a bad job of dyeing that wool; whether I spun enough wool to make that large piece of fabric I've been planning; when I'll next have the opportunity to spin; when I'm going to spend some time exploring Worksop and its surrounding areas; what I'm going to eat for dinner; whether I should buy a house; that I should spend more time editing my pathetic excuse for a novel; semicolons; wardrobes; why I can never find enough shampoo; what I'm going to read next; when I'm going to find time to read what I'm already reading; that this list is unlikely to reflect well on me; that perhaps it's a bad idea to encourage people to realise that they might not think highly of people who write lists like this; that I am writing a load of rubbish and do not, in fact, think about these things a lot, but reserve my thinking about them for while I am actually writing this list; various other things, which I really would list if I could bring them to mind right now. They are probably less important than the things in the list.

Recently, I have mostly been travelling and then, upon reaching my destination, deciding that I don't really want much wine, after all. I have no idea what typical Friday nights will hold for me in the future, although I foresee drunken escapades around Sheffield, and possibly more TV-watching than I am comfortable with. (I am mostly not comfortable with watching the TV, particularly when it is on, but I am supposed to ignore it. That's the worst of both worlds!)

The most private thing I am willing to admit on here, where it is open for all and sundry to view and use against me time and time again, is that sometimes I can be a bit paranoid! Seriously, though; this is a bit of a weird question, isn't it?

The thing is, I'm not really much of a private person. I tend to say what I think. I could tell you that I wear size 14 knickers, but then I'd tell anyone who was interested, unless they were really annoying me, in which case I would give them a Look instead. I could tell you my bra size, but it'd only put you off. I probably wouldn't tell you about any of my sexual preferences unless I was interested in you, but you never know; I suppose I'm more private in that sense. I could tell you about how I was once properly in love, and what happened next, but that's hardly what I'd consider to be private.

OK, then: how about this? I am plagued by self-doubt whenever I am required to write anything which could be considered to be important. I think that everything I have written so far is a load of rubbish. It would be great to communicate with people via e-mail, when I am likely to be slightly more entertaining, and then in person, when my true annoying-ness will come into view to be unnoticed, or to provide a cause for running away from me as discreetly and politely as possible...

You like what you see here? Also, if your spelling and grammar are really quite good (feel free to lecture me on my comma usage; I'm a bit worried I'm using too many at the moment) (but don't only lecture me on my comma usage; I have found that I don't necessarily feel inclined to look favourably upon people adopting this approach) and several of the following: you are a laid-back sort of person, you are intelligent, you have a thing for semicolons and wonder why I'm not using them in this list, you like to make music with an interesting musical instrument (hint: most of them are interesting). I am especially interested in hearing from people who are, in addition to this, both kind and competent (pick your area of competence; but having one is most certainly a plus).

But seriously: I dig guys who rock the whole spelling and grammar thing. Makes you look brainy. I would even forego the hitherto unmentioned amazing forearms requirement* for a decent brain (she says, thus frightening off all the guys who believe in zombies. Come on - I'm not going to eat your brain. All the top biologists agree that eating brains is a bad idea). (And I just frightened off the ones who don't believe in zombies, too. And hopefully all the ones who don't believe in grammar. But not the ones who don't read profiles through to the end. Perhaps I ought to have said "Boo!" at the beginning, as a sort of pre-emptive strike.)

*Not really a requirement; more a bonus.