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42 • M • Winter Haven, FL
I’m looking for
- Ages 25–45
- Near me
- Who are single
- Last Online
- Today – 8:34am
- 6′ 2″ (1.88m)
- Body Type
- Graduated from law school
- Relationship Status
- Relationship Type
- Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
- Has dogs and likes cats
- English (Fluently)
Now that's my version. My bio at work reads:
Charles "CJ" L++++++ left high school as a sophomore and went directly to college. He received his Bachelors of Science degree from University of California Berkeley in 1996 in Psychology and his Law Degree from Tulane School of Law in New Orleans Louisiana in 2000 with a certificate in Admiralty Law. During his time at Tulane, Mr. +++++++ participated in a study abroad program in Greece studying Admiralty Law, worked in Tulane's Civil Litigation Clinic as a clerk for the Offices of Administrative Law Judges in Metairie Louisiana handling Longshore Harbor Workers Compensation Act claims.
After graduation Charles moved to Florida and begun his career working as a contract attorney for a large Admiralty Defense Firm in Miami. Disappointed with the lack of trial work that a junior associate in a large firm is exposed to and generally dissatisfied with insurance defense in general, Charles decided that he rather spend his life helping people and accepted a job with the Public Defenders Office in Tampa. At the Tampa Public Defenders Office Mr. L++++++ tried over 100 cases and specialized in handling juvenile's issues where kids were charged as adults, major drug charges and working with mentally handicapped individuals.
Charles is committed to helping people in need and now applies his trial experience solving "people" problems, such as personal injury, wrongful death, social security disability and select criminal cases. His "pull no punches, drag them to court," style is quickly getting the attention of the defense industry gaining him the reputation of an extremely aggressive, highly competent litigator that truly cares about his client's needs.
Both are accurate but I like my earlier version better;o) Oh and if you don't like books and dogs I'm probably not your guy. Also I compete in marksmanship competitions and I know that is an issue for some.
What is the ideal weight of a lawyer? A: About three pounds, including the urn.
What do you call Satan and a lawyer? Twins!=:
Why do you need only two pall bearers at a lawyer's funeral? A garbage can only has two handles.
A man went to a brain store to get some brain to complete a study. He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offerred at this particular brain store. He begins to question the butcher about the cost of these brains.
"How much does it cost for engineer brain?"
"Three dollars an ounce."
"How much does it cost for programmer brain?"
"Four dollars an ounce."
"How much for lawyer brain?"
"$1,000 an ounce."
"Why is lawyer brain so much more?"
"Do you know how many lawyers we had to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
How lawyers do it...
Lawyers do it with appeal.
Lawyers do it confidentially.
Lawyers do it on a trial basis.
Lawyers do it until justice prevails.
Lawyers do it as long as you can pay them.
Lawyers do it unless it is prohibited by law.
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you, " the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity."
The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, "I love my BMW, I love my BMW." Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. "My BMW! My BMW!" he sobbed.
A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, "Sir, sir, you're bleeding! And my god, your left arm is gone!"
The lawyer, horrified, screamed "My Rolex! My Rolex!"
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a****ail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send a bill for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 bill. That afternoon he received a $100 bill from the lawyer.
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape.
"It ain't so bad," one crook noted. "We got $25 between us."
The boss screamed: "I warned you to stay clear of lawyers -- we had $100 when we broke in!"
Replacing lab rats with lawyers
The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced last week that they were going to start using lawyers instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally, the American Bar Association was outraged and filed suit. Yet, the NIH presented some very good reasons for the switch.
1. The lab assistants were becoming very attached to their little rats. This emotional involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such attachment could form for a lawyer.
2. Lawyers breed faster and are in much greater supply.
3. Lawyers are much cheaper to care for and the humanitarian societies won't jump all over you no matter what you're studying.
4. There are some things even a rat won't do.
An honest lawyer
An independent woman started her own business. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in. Pretty soon she realized she needed an in-house counsel, and so she began interviewing young lawyers.
"As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an 'honest' lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my dad lent me fifteen thousand dollars for my education and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
He squirmed in his seat and admitted, "My dad sued me for the money."
Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
A Prince and a Pauper by Mark Twain
The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
A Yakee in King Authurs Court by Mark Twain
Candide by Voltaire
Cyrano De Bergerac by Edmund Rostand
The Count Of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas
The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas
A Tale Of Two Cities by Charles Dickins
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
Early Ann Rice
Anything Star Wars
Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under The Sea by Jules Verne
Gulliver's Travels by Johnathan Swift
A Farewell To Arms by Ernest Hemingway
The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane
The Hunchback Of Notre Dame [Notre-Dame De Paris] by Victor Hugo
The Last Of The Mohicans by James Fenimore Cooper
The Sea Wolf by Jack London
The Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson
Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra
Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck
Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad
The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
The Rights of Man by Thomas Paine
Vince Flynn, Lee Child, Tom Clancy, W.E.B Griffin the basic mind candy blowem up sie kinda junk
List goes on and on. I kinda like to read.
Music- well I was in Berkeley during the hayday of grunge Pearl Jam Nirvana, STP. Classic rock especially of the southern rock variety. Plus the hard stuff like Tool.
House, Bones, Star Wars, Kevin Smith fan - esp Chasing Amy, Burn Notice, Weeds, Soprano's, The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, The Usual Suspects, Forrest Gump, Platoon, Goodfellas, Pulp Fiction this list is too big to get into..
My books- love my books.
Stuffed Chicago style pizza.
Old coin my granddad left me- only dollar he had when he married my grandmother. Kept it 76 years and then passed it to me.
My sense of humor as sick and juvenile as it is.
Maslow stopped at five so so will I
Ok that's a good start but actually I'm looking for someone who can keep me jumping but mentally a on an animal attraction level who is also looking to move towards a serious relationship.
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