Issuing supreme power to you...one moment.

My self-summary Propose an edit

There’s really no good way to kick these things off, so I’ll use someone else’s words to describe exactly what you’re about to witness (by the way if you figure out where the following lines are from without the use of Google then you get a gold star and some Skittles.) “Obviously people are going to think I'm a showboat, and a little bit of a prick. But then I thought... that's me. I said those things, I did those things. I can live with that.”

My "type": skinny, bearded, owns sweaters of varying colors and thickness, artsy, has read Catcher in the Rye no more than twice, preferably older, somewhat cool, and owns a suit- I'm Polish and therefore a sucker for a man in a suit, preferably if you have a little Eastern Promises going on.

I’m socially inept, as are most excessive coffee drinkers, and if you attempt to engage me in small talk I will bring up abortion, sex with amputees, or something deemed equally uncomfortable by the pabulum fed masses in order to avoid your “How ‘bout this crazy weather/ these are the various reasons I only drink imported beer/ what kind of music do you listen to?” conversation.

What else can I throw your way in case you’re still listening to this nonsense? I’m curvy, voluptuous, full figured or whatever you’d like to call it, I haven’t always been and I won’t always be, but I deal with it just fine and if you can’t then there’s no love lost, get clicking that old backspace button.

I have tattoo’s, piercings and body modifications and if you’re not a fan, then no offense taken. I should probably add to that statement that I am by no means covered in tattoo’s and shards of metal, nor do I ever intend to be and I have never, nor would I ever date a tattoo artist, a big bald guy nicknamed “Score” or “Thrash” or someone who has lady luck tattooed anywhere on their body. I never got into the “this is fucking extreme” tattoo culture, but rather enjoy meaningful, everlasting pieces of art on my body.

You will be forced to listen to my Marxist, Socialist rants and wade through pools of "literature" on the Mr. Toad's Wild Ride that it is to date me, should that adventure ever be embarked upon.

And last but certainly not least… I’m a Trekkie, and an insanely rampant one at that. I’m proud of it, I let my freak flag fly, and if you can’t get down with the Fleet then I am no good for you. Dare you continue on this road you should be prepared to sleep next to my Klingon bear, and watch me cry every time I watch Amok Time or This Side of Paradise- hey at least it’s better than being forced to watch The Notebook over and over.

NOTE: I'm a pretty sexually liberated person but please DO NOT leave the OkCupid equivalent of a heavy breathing phone call in my inbox. If I wanted to be bombarded with unwanted filth (and yes there is such a thing as desirable filth) I'd take a stroll downtown without a top. So leave that trash where it belongs; outside in the parking lot waiting to give you Hepatitis.

What I'm doing with my life Propose an edit

Painting, watching copious amounts of zombie-related cinema.

Other than that I am studying International Community Development and ultimately planning on becoming a doctor. I could use some flowery butterfly/ chrysalis metaphor here but it would probably annoy the shit out of most of you to read it as much as it would annoy me to write it- so let's skip it shall we?

I'm really good at Propose an edit

Whistling- it sounds lame but trust me... it's uncanny.

The first thing(s) people usually notice about me Propose an edit

God only knows, let's hope it's something good, although I have heard on more than one occasion "my god you smoke a lot." Yes I do, thank you.

My favorite books, movies, music, and food Propose an edit

I'll give you the quick and dirty version...

Books: Justine, 120 Days of Sodom, The Silent World, Marxism and Fascism, Mrs. Dalloway, The Communist Manifesto, There's No Me Without You and Various medical texts.

Movies: Lawrence of Arabia, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, Freaks, The Silence of the Lambs, Soylent Green and The Devils.

Music: Iggy Pop and The Stooges, David Bowie, Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen, The Partisans and many, many more...

Food: Cheeseburgers, sushi and coffee (I consider it a food because I drink so much of it that it's basically all that keeps me standing up.)

The six things I could never do without Propose an edit

Music, cigarettes, lip balm, my cat, art, and Leon Trotsky.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Propose an edit

The purpose of my life, Buddha, Star Trek, foreign policy, refuges, sex, art, love, Leonard Nimoy, Stephen Colbert, movie quotes, imaginary fist fights between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden, sharks.

On a typical Friday night I am Propose an edit

Writing what I'm sure will turn out to be a either a shitty novel or a masturbatory aid for middle aged housewives.

The most private thing I'm willing to admit here Propose an edit

I'm a hopelessly romantic sucker who occasionally spends the whole day painting while listening to one of the following songs on repeat:
Spiritualized- Anyway You Want Me
Wreckless Eric- Whole Wide World

I put down the artists because I know the more inquisitive/ neurotic minority of people reading this will want to YouTube them and see what I waste my whole day on.

You should message me if Propose an edit

You:
a) have read a book in the last three months
b) enjoy the Mayor of Amity Island's wardrobe
c) you know what a Varo or Rembrandt looks like
d) you liked what you saw and aren't a complete douchebag
e) you know the difference between "your" and "you're"
e) you're not interested in me becoming your own personal dominatrix because you saw 'DeSade' is my username and automatically assumed I like to take a dominant role in relationships

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