I'm 35, with a kid. I'm smart enough to know better and have a sense of humor that can best be described as odd. I'm not religious, don't care how Christian you are and think Creationism is the work of some seriously stupid or incredibly funny people. I'm not rail thin, don't have abs of steel but yet am healthy and do work out every day. I read a lot, try to stay relatively well-informed and try to be a decent human being. I fail at this often, but I try. I'm not crazy, but I do some emotional baggage and don't mind that you do as well. I hate online dating, but I'm here because I rarely have a chance to meet single people anywhere else.
What I'm looking for:
Someone who is smart, funny, curious about the world, athletic, funny, quirky without being full blown nuts and able to smile at the world while it punches you in the gut. You should be at least mildly into "nerd" or "geek" sort of stuff, and willing to date a dude who has a kid. You should know that I'm mostly available on weekends. Lastly, you should be willing to put up with my crap and know that I'll put up with yours, as long as it doesn't involve hurting anyone else (unless they really deserve it.)
Thanks for reading. Now back to the funny.
Why I'm Awesome:
1. I'm smart. Like not quite scary "what the hell was his mother on" smart, but smart enough to carry on an intelligent conversation and have opinions without being a jerk about them.
2. I'm tall. I can totally reach those high, out of arms-length places.
3. I wear glasses. Superman wears glasses as Clark Kent. Batman would wear glasses, too, if they came in bat shapes and had seventy three different uses. So there's a good chance I'm secretly a superhero.
4. I'm an orphan, so no mother-in-law drama.
5. I'm average looking. Not so ugly that you have to put a bag over my head, but not so good looking that you suspect I'm sleeping with your sister. (I'm not, though she wants me. It's okay, I understand.)
6. I can amuse myself. I don't need your constant attention.
7. I produce really adorable offspring. Even though I'm not planning on having more, it's nice to know that if I did, they would be adorable.
8. I'm funny. I have stories about imaginary hippos and the magic powers of alcohol at 3 am in Sub-Saharan Africa. And they're all true.
9. I have big feet. That means absolutely nothing about my penis size, but it does mean I'm probably not wearing your shoes secretly while you're at work.
10. I have magical powers. I can make 8 hours of work fly by without really accomplishing nearly what I set out to do.
11. I suffer from a wealth of awesome. Which means it practically flows from me like water. Don't you want to bathe in the awesome?
12. I study Zen Buddhism, which is like regular Buddhism, but with more confusion and head-smacking. Also, I am Buddha. (If you meet me on the road, please do not try to kill me; a simple head gesture will suffice. 'Sup.)
13. I am unafraid of unlucky numbers. Black cats consider me merely somewhat unfavorable. Ladders refuse to walk over me.
14. There is no 14.
15. Is right out.