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27 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Oct 19
Native American, White
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Other, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Likes cats
English (Fluently), C++ (Okay), LISP (Okay), Other (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Before I waste your time, be warned that if you are Straight, Gay, or looking for an Exclusive Monogamous relationship, you may be fighting an uphill battle in pursuing me. See my "You should message me if" section for more.

Also, I'm a bit overwhelmed with stuff right now (mostly good), so my availability is pretty severely limited.

About Me
I learn something old every day. What I mean by this is that I didn't pay as much attention in grade school as I now wish I had. Working as a math teacher and developing curriculum and lesson plans, I'm constantly re-discovering all the sorts of interconnections and shortcuts I'm sure my teachers were trying to get across the first time around. Of course, the background that leads me to each of my discoveries is often more 'advanced' than the class it's taught in, so my amazement is not always shared by my students.

I love to sit in front of the piano and bang on it until something sounds good, then play off that theme for a while. Sometimes I sing along, but I'm not nearly as good at vocal improvisation. I do like to beatbox when I can though.

Psychology and spirituality are very interesting subjects to me. I spend a lot of time thinking about thinking.

I used to love playing videogames, but I think I might be growing out of it. I'll still look forward to the next Zelda, Diablo, or Borderlands game, but more out of nostalgia (a quaint word for brand loyalty) than an urge to play more.

I much more nowadays enjoy a good social game. No, I'm not talking about the kind where you beg facebook friends to collect taxes for you in your personal empire, nor the sort where you run around hitting each other with foam swords. Here I mean good old fashioned sit down around a table and learn something about the way your friends think games, like Apples to Apples or Settlers of Catan.

The Dating Persona Test
When I first joined OKC back while it was still SparkMatch, I was The Boy Next Door (RGLD). Over time as I gained experience in relationships, I graduated to RGLM, The Loverboy. For a period during and after a particularly soul-shattering breakup, I alternated between The Vapor Trail and The False Messiah (RBLM and DBLM) for a while until eventually I settled back as The Loverboy.

I've felt polyamorous since forever, but all my serious relationships have been monogamous, and I've learned a lot while reconciling that conflict. With recent experience, I finally consider myself deserving of my new persona, DGLM, The Gentleman.

I am thoughtful, playful, and hopeful.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Today (as of January 2013)
* Designing systems for tabletop role-playing games.
* Singing the Verdi Requiem with Symphony Silicon Valley Chorale.
* Exploring and learning about psychology and philosophy.
* Introspection and mind-reading.
* Reconnecting with old friends and making new ones.
* Stacking my days full of pleasant distractions.
* Job hunting (yet again—thank you very much Silicon Valley).

I grew up as a Boy Scout, but left on principle after a scandal in my troop. I still consider myself a scout for life (other than the whole hating on homosexuals and Unitarians thing), but my highest badge was a star.

I've been to a dozen different kinds of schools, as student, tutor, or teacher.

I've worked as a game designer, but I left because I hate the industry and its effects on society.

I've taught math and computer engineering. I have enjoyed both teaching and tutoring in the same subjects, as a hobby more-so even than as employment (though I can still make the big bucks with it). My students are awesome and if they learn half as much from me as I do from them, I know they will go far.

I've lifeguarded and taught swimming to kids (and some friends too), and done all the other sorts of things that camp counselors do.

Music and Spirituality
I connect with the spiritual world through music, be it choral singing, humming a random tune to myself, or just plain banging on the piano.

In 2012 I completed a 60-day challenge in Bikram Yoga, that super-strenuous hot yoga that caused me to lose 5 lbs a day in sweat (seriously—I measured it). I've fallen out of the habit, as with most endeavors of regularly scheduled exercise, but it still interests and excites me when I get the inspiration.

I am always trying to learn, though not always actively seeking instruction. I experiment and theorize. I think.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Critical Analysis of Video Games. I would like to develop this skill in a direction that isn't just being a forum junkie, but I'm only recently discovering how much of a passion it is of mine. My role models in this department include Yahtzee Croshaw and Brian Moriarty.

Watching TV (* on the internet, of course), formatting HTML table layouts using Notepad, making really stupid but accurate Analogies, saying the wrong thing at exactly the right time, and similarly maximally offending people with the first OKC message (sometimes this is intentional).

Also in case you didn't get it yet MATHS. Oh god I love mathematics and I can math so freaking well it will leave your head spinning (it certainly does mine)!

Formal Logic. This frankly goes hand-in-hand with math, but for some reason it's less apparent to some people just how applicable maths can be to more humanities-oriented subjects, such as philosophy, psychology, politics... but the ability to communicate effectively is key in all of these, and I consider myself quite proficient.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to try to explain this myself but all too often I've found it's much better to leave it as an open question for an ice breaker, so if you're looking for a subject to message me about... what do you notice first about me?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I used to have a big long list on here, full of my top 3 of every genre of everything, but it ran long and dated itself, so i snipped it out. Here are my current enthusiasms:

The Majora's Mask fan album Time's End by Theophany.
Verdi's Requiem, Will Todd's Mass in Blue, and Eric Whitacre.
The fan-fiction Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (HPMOR) by Eliezer Yudkowski, and anything else on the rationality blog LessWrong.
The graphic novels Morning Glories and Saga. I find I've got a bit of a thing for Image Comics.
Intellectual Thrillers, like Primer by Shane Carruth.
Basically anything by Christopher Nolan.
The public radio shows Freakonomics and On the Media from WNYC, and This American Life from WBEZ.
The TV series Archer and American Dad. (I'm in my cartoon sitcom phase... I'll get back to dramas once there's less in my life or Breaking Bad starts up again, whichever comes first)
The Perlenspiel gameclavier by Brian Moriarty.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The Internet [✓]
Something to Sing About [✓]
Intimacy [✓-]
Sleep [✓-]
Education [✓]
Memories [✓-]
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
- Spending time thinking about spending time etc.
- Maths. Specifically, orders of infinity.
- Quantum Immortality.
- Hypothetical businesses with no business model.
- How tactfully to ask androgynous people on OKC whether they're actually transgender.
- How to convince monogamous people that I am just as devoted a lover as anyone, despite my commitment long-term to polyamory.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Zoning out—either lazily in front of the TV/hulu, meditatively at the piano, or socially in the company of friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am an incredibly spiritual person, though I profess no religion, and practice no rituals.

Also, Good TV and movies make me cry. Compelling characters really do it for me.

This isn't private, but I feel a little guilty about it, so: I use AdBlock Plus. As much as I appreciate the free stuff that is thrown out on the internet in return for a little ad revenue, the only ads I think I'd ever respond to are for more free things (e.g. TV shows), and the rest just annoy me. OKCupid recently whined at me for it, but offered me the option to kill ads on their site forever for $5. I totally jumped on that, and if more ad-supported sites gave that option, they would get a lot more (read: any) money from my patronage.

There's a lot of private sexual stuff I'd be willing to admit, but I like better for it to come out in conversation than to paste it here. If you're too shy to ask but too curious to let it go, you can check out my publicly answered questions.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are awesome.

You have a job opening in the bay area.

You should definitely message me if...
You are open to and appreciate close friendships and loving relationships. You are emotionally and mentally attractive, and don't just think of it as "in spite of physical imperfection"—that is, you are comfortable with yourself. You share in any of my fandoms but can talk as an equal with someone who may not be as devoted as you. You are snuggle-able and want to share snuggles over a common interest. You are, were, or will be doing something awesome, and want someone to share it with. You can appreciate that I am in love more than once already and this will not change. You are intelligent and can laugh.

You may want to think twice about messaging me if...
You are looking for a monogamous relationship.
While I am quite happy to date monogamously if such is the requirement of my partner, I intend for my lifetime partnership to be with a person who can support my polyamory. If you don't think that's something you can do, I'm willing to help, but if that's something you don't want to do, I probably will not be settling down with you.

You are straight or gay and have expectations of gender roles.
The following deserves mention: I am gender-fluid and bisexual and moreover I feel like I would have a hard time connecting with anyone who doesn't share my appreciation for both sexes. Straight females get some points because they must at least have some appreciation for their own bodies. Gay men, I may just not be interested. (edit: I've recently discovered that there is a thing called HOCD which may or may not explain this preference, and I'm still deciding whether and how I should change this approach)