I don't fit in.
I am a card-carrying resident of the island of misfit boys.
I'm a 16-year-old trapped in a 46-year-old's body. That doesn't mean I haven't grown up. I've certainly done that. I've got a husband, 2 dogs, a house, a car, a good career, a decent education, good friends and family, and overall an acceptable life.
For a while (6 years) I was in a polyamorous relationship. I was hard-core in love with both of them but they just couldn't get along. In the end, one of them left. I keep my commitments so I'm still with the other, but there's the proverbial hole in my heart and that's got me wondering what's next.Enter my dream boy. In my fantasy world, there's a perfect boy for me out there just waiting to be discovered. He's willing to put up with my fucked up marriage situation and wants to hang out with me for fun, food, sex, whatever. He's into gaming and sci-fi, action figures, Lego, go-karts, and all that other stuff I craved as a kid just as I do now.
He's not in it for the money. He just genuinely wants to be around me and shares my passion for life and all it has to offer.
"But what about your husband?" I hear you cry.
Maybe you missed the part about this being a fantasy. That doesn't mean I wouldn't move heaven and earth to once again expand my relationship for the right guy. I got burned, true, but I'm healing (albeit a bit slowly).
In the meantime, I'm fleshing out my fantasy by imagining the perfect boy. It feels good. So sue me.
I love a pale skinny geeky boy with a huge brain, a level 80 Warlock, and a well-equipped Gallente battleship. The perfect boy can quote Alien, Blade Runner, Trek, Han Solo, Cowboy Bebop, Douglas Adams, South Park, Pink Floyd, Python, Buckaroo Banzai, and shouts "KANEDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" from time to time. Long-haired hippie stoner boys are always a nice find, but it's the skinny geek with the LCD tan that usually turns my head.
The perfect boy is into new experiences. New food. New places. New music. The perfect boy can appreciate everything from Mahler to Pink Floyd to The Goodies and the The Coral. The perfect boy wants to kick my ass in Virtua Fighter. (Good luck with that one!) The perfect boy pulls me next to him when I come to bed. The perfect boy looks like Goofus but acts like Gallant. The perfect boy gets that Highlights reference even though he's way too young to remember it. The perfect boy inspires me to keep my weight down but never makes it about him. The perfect boy never makes me choose between him and my husband. The perfect boy wants to be a complement to my husband, not competition. The perfect boy has unkempt hair that often grows too long before he cuts it. The perfect boy enjoys it when I shower him with attention. The perfect boy knows how to pick his battles and confronts me when I get out of line. The perfect boy is never afraid to try new things. The perfect boy has strong convictions but a stronger desire for truth. The perfect boy can be mischievous but never malicious. The perfect boy knows the difference between being my equal partner and being my equal. The perfect boy enjoys learning from me. The perfect boy knows he can teach me as much as I teach him. The perfect boy prefers hanging out at a LAN party, watching a double feature at home, or going to see a local rock band that most people have never heard of. The perfect boy doesn't need others to love him, but he wants it. The perfect boy enjoys it when people crave his natural beauty but understands that his beauty is fleeting. The perfect boy revels in the power of his youth and enjoys sharing it with older guys.
The perfect boy may be a myth, but a man must have ideals.
Self-absorbed twinks and muscle boys NEED NOT APPLY.
I am Geeky, Rational, and Funny