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26 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 1:58pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
When drinking
Judaism, and laughing about it
Graduated from university
Banking / Finance
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Poorly), Russian (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I'm just getting back into the groove of this site after being off it for a while, so cut me some slack while I put together a charming and hilarious profile that will make you want to go out with me.

Manufactured in the former USSR, I was raised in Brooklyn. I've moved around Manhattan the last couple years, but I'm finally settling back into my home borough. Looking for a partner in crime that will encourage me to make bad decisions.
What I’m doing with my life
Cubicle drone by day and fun alcoholic by night. I'm currently selling my soul in financial services and debating if doing what you actually enjoy for a living is worth a 50% pay cut. When not avoiding looking at spreadsheets I spend a lot of time exploring and doing all the Usual Young People Things (TM) that Gothamist and Buzzfeed recommend.
I’m really good at
Timing my snarky comments so my friends choke on their drinks.
The first things people usually notice about me
How fast I can make them laugh.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Reading is the only good habit I have. Chabon, GRRM, Maugham, Zinn, Orozco, Berenstain, Barbara Tuchman, Vonnegut, Roth. Too many others.

I spend way too much money on theater movie pop corn. I love most films that are not shown in big chain theaters. Basically any film I can't predict earns points from me.

Breaking Bad is now part of the Holy Trinity that used to only contain The Sopranos and The Wire. On the other end of the spectrum are Seinfeld, Curb, It's Always Sunny, Louie. Lots of other shows too.

Every genre has good examples (even country) and anything that has clever lyrics or is just fun to listen to will win with me. Podcasts are also my new love (Nerdist,
This American Life, Radiolab)

I will try just about anything once and I like almost everything. I am a beer snob and there are few things more delicious than a craft IPA or Belgian Strong Ale. Except for maybe bacon. I grew up keeping kosher and I'm so glad that bacon lived up to all it's hype. It really is meat candy.
The six things I could never do without
1. My sense of humor.
2. My sense of self.
3. My aversion to completing lists.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why doesn't OKCupid have "Fabulous" as a body type option?
On a typical Friday night I am
Making poorly informed decisions.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can't ride a bike. Tried to learn as a kid, but after falling off three times I said, "Fuck this. I'm going to go read some Berenstain Bears."
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're fabulous.

You can teach me how to ride a bike.

You know how I can be a caller on Wait, Wait... Don't Tell Me!

I just got a cast-iron skillet and I'm slowly falling in love with it! Send me awesome recipes and I will make (probably terrible) versions of them for you!