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28 College Park, MD Agender, Non-binary, Genderqueer

Agender, Non-binary, Genderqueer

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 24–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 6:59pm
Bisexual, Queer, Pansexual
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Not at all
Graduated from masters program
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.

I'm trans(1), neuter(2), a geek(3), a railfan(4), and a socialist(5). Also, a recent grad-school escapee(6), a chemist-historian(7), and a native Prince Georgian(8).

(1) I'm not certain whether being trans really should be the first item I mention in describing myself, but it seems like something people need to know to decide if I sound cool or like someone they want to avoid talking to.

(2) Gender is complicated, and figuring out what exactly I am trying to transition to is hard. I'm pretty comfortable talking about it (and would love to meet other non-binary people, too), but don't expect me to have any particularly clear answers. For now, I'm on a low-dose hormone therapy and trying to figure out what I'm doing.

(3) I have to admit that I feel a little awkward about self-identifying as a geek, given all the classism, misogyny, and racism that certain parts of geek culture seem permeated with. But, on the other hand, I was recently President and Skinner of the MIT Science Fiction Society, so the label seems pretty unavoiadable. Grad school and running a library kept me from actually reading much science fiction and fantasy, but I'm trying to get caught up again.

(4) I'm not exactly sure how I became a bit obsessed with trains. It may have started when I traveled home to DC and back by Amtrak during my first summer break in college in Los Angeles. But I suspect a lot of my interest in subways and rapid transit came from spending a decade living a carless life in Los Angeles and Boston. Now that I have a car again, I still live two blocks from a Metro station and try to ride transit whenever I can. And when I travel, I try to ride as much of the transit in whatever city I'm in as possible.

(5) Socialism just kind of happened over the past five or so years, as I've come to realize just how much capitalism fucks over large segments of society, and turns so much into a mixture of luck and having the right parents. Of course, the realization that recent technological innovations are likely to make labor obsolete for the most part is quite concerning, too.

(6) I spent the last six years at MIT trying to get a PhD in chemistry. This mostly involved trying to fix the insane vacuum chamber you can see me buried in in one of my profile photos. And, as I got fed up with that, spending more and more time with student groups and student government and becoming increasingly depressed instead. Finally, this spring I informed my advisor that I was leaving whether or not she liked it and fled to PG County, where I grew up, to write a Master's thesis. I'm still trying to figure out how to be a real person now that my thesis is turned in and I'm not a grad student anymore.

(7) I've spent the last decade---can it really have been that long? *shudders*---getting degrees in chemistry at Caltech and MIT. In the process, I've realized that I'm not really sure I want to keep doing chemistry, as much as the idea of Being a Scientist is appealing. I've also discovered that I might be a bit more interested in history. I did minor in Medieval European history as an undergrad, though at the moment I seem to be more interested in modern history and, oddly, the Bronze Age.

(8) I grew up in New Carrollton and went to high school in Greenbelt, between which I developed a bit of a loyalty to PG County, or at least the parts of it drained by the northern tributaries of the Anacostia. So, when I escaped grad school, I decided that moving back was a good idea and I found an apartment in College Park, which I decided to name Noonvale. (Does anyone get the reference?)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Until recently, I was wrangling a Giant Machine of Science and Doom, trying to study the chemistry of silicon surfaces at a pressure ten thousand times lower than outer space. However, I've finally escaped: I spent four months writing a Master's thesis and finally graduated at the end of August!

Now that my life doesn't belong to my research advisor anymore, I actually have to figure out what I'm doing with it. In the short term, I'm tutoring high school and college students in math, physics, and chemistry and I'm an adjunct professor at Anne Arundel Community College: I'm working on writing up a class on math for students who want to take intro physics next semester that I'll start teaching in October. It's the first time I've written a class from scratch, so I'm pretty excited!

In the longer term, neither tutoring nor adjuncting seems like a "real" career plan. I'm still trying to figure out what else I want to do, though. I'm planning on writing a book on the history of subway systems and rail transit in the United States, but that's more of a free time project, honestly. So I'm also busy trying to apply to various jobs that seem like they might be more enjoyable than work in the science mines.

Less productively, I want to get a chance to explore the DC area more now that I get to live in it as an adult, and I wouldn't mind seeing more of Baltimore, too, especially if anyone who knows the city wants to show me around. I've already been in the habit of going on five-mile walks as a way to procrastinate thesis-writing. Now that it's done, I'm hoping to increase my endurance and manage a few fifteen-mile walks across DC. I also need to fix my bike and do some bike rides.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
As much as it's out-of-character for a science grad student, I think that the skill I'm most proud of is my writing. I gather that people who read it tend to think that I'm quite good at explaining things clearly and understandably. This may extend to teaching in general: I've really enjoyed tutoring and teaching recitation sections for chemistry classes, and I even won an award for it one year. I really do want to write more "science lesson" posts for my blog -- -- but I rarely seem to have the time to put into doing them well, so my posts tend to just be recipes and photos, as those are the easiest to write.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't know what it is, but it sure must be noticeable, given I've had people who met me once four years previously come up to say hello because they recognize me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
My canonical favorite fiction book seems to be Thomas Hardy's _The Mayor of Casterbridge_. Even though I was president of MIT's science fiction and fantasy library, I don't actually seem to read much of it anymore. I'm quite fond of Susanna Clarke's _Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell_ and Rachel Hartman's _Seraphina_, though. (I really need to figure out where I can watch the _Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell_ miniseries that the BBC just produced.)

For the most part, what I actually read these days is non-fiction. Occasionally science---I really enjoyed Nick Lane's _The Vital Question_ on the origins of life and mitochondria---but mostly history and anthropology. I have vague plans for a project to write up an alternate history of humanity with different geography and cultures, and I can justify an incredible amount of books as "research" for that.

My favorite food these days is probably Polish -- bigos, pierogi, golabki, and so on -- and it's what I'm most likely to cook for other people. But, honestly, it's not very healthy, and I've been trying to eat more Indian-style legume-based stews instead. I also need to try making Cornish pasties again, because I really enjoyed them on a trip to see my best friend in England a couple of years ago and have never been able to find them for sale in the US.

Recently, I came across an interesting Chinese cookbook---supposedly the first one published in the US in English, back in the 1940's---and I'm hoping to work my way through it now that thesis-writing isn't taking up all my cooking time.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
In no particular order:
--gauge bosons
--Higgs bosons
--some space-time to put them in
And I'll save the sixth for a spare.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I spend a lot of time thinking about trains and transit. I'm not sure if I am sufficiently obsessed to count as a railfan, but I try. I've recently decided that I should try to write a book on the history of subways and rail transit in the united states because I have never found a good, broad work on that topic and it makes me sad that it doesn't seem to exist.

History has been an interest of mine for a while. I went into college very interested in the Classical Mediterranean and somehow came out with a minor in Medieval European history. More recently, I've been reading a lot about the Bronze Age and about the history of religion. One of my goals for "when I have some time" is a project to write a world history of an alternate Earth with different geography and cultures.

I also think a lot about new places I can explore, and whether I can get anyone to come with me on long walks and bike rides and such.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
playing board games with a bunch of physicists at the University of Maryland. A friend from Caltech is a physics postdoc there now and organizes board game nights that he's been inviting me to: it's really nice to get to spend time with physicsy people---it's something I miss from undergrad---as well as to play board games.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I suppose the obvious one is that I'm transgendered and on hormone therapy. My preferred pronouns are it/its/it or ey/em/eir.

That I've stopped identifying as asexual and am actually kind of interested in a relationship now---I blame this on the hormone therapy---is something I feel kind of embarrassed to admit, although I know there isn't really a good reason for me to find it embarrassing.

The fact that I've become a socialist over the last few years, as I've discovered just how much capitalism fucks over large segments of society, perhaps counts as well.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want a pen-pal. Or a new friend. Or potentially a girlfriend.

You don't mind that my physical sex and gender identity don't match. I identify as neuter/genderqueer.

You're interested in someone to talk to or hang out with. And perhaps go on long walks or bike rides. Or to cook things with.

You're interested in talking about alternate histories of various sorts, or world-building. Or about trains and transit systems. (Bonus points if you mention a proposal you have in mind for a new subway line somewhere when you contact me.)

You want to practice Spanish with me, or try to convince me to actually put in effort to relearn the language like I keep saying I will.

You want to practice computer programming with me: one of my goals for this year is to try to teach myself some amount of programming, since it seems to be the path to employment these days. My current plan is working through Project Euler in Python.

You want to talk about gender identity or non-binary gender. Or sexual orientation and things. I'm pretty comfortable talking about my gender identity if you have questions.