Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


28 M Lansing, MI

My Details

Last Online
Jun 7
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I exist for my own sake. You should too.

I'm a virtue ethicist. Loosely speaking, this means I'm concerned less with how my actions affect other people so much as how they affect who I am. This means I don't tell white lies, and I don't accept white lies from others. Personal morality -is- a slippery slope, and each step away from morality makes the next step easier.

I'm a dominant masochist. Yes, I know my question answers don't reflect this, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately and have realized that some of my issues in past relationships have been from an unnecessary conflation of masochism and submission. I don't expect submission - if you're not putting up a little bit of a fight I'm not having fun. I do, however, require explicit consent in order to do anything. If you don't understand the difference, I can explain it. If this sounds unappealing to you, move on. This is a non-negotiable point to me.

My intelligence is somewhere north of insane. I expect intelligence in other people as well; I don't expect people to operate on my level, but I can't have a relationship with somebody who isn't bright at all, because the difference between me and average is greater than the difference between the average adult and the average child. It's creepy.

Between the above two, what I seek most is this: Somebody I don't have to restrain myself with.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Magic the Gathering is my only current hobby. I used to really be into playing computer games, but pretty much got out of that in the progress of my last serious relationship - not that my girlfriend demanded it, but it felt like a comparative waste of my time.

Trying my hand at gardening, at the moment. It's been a massacre. I'm also trying to get my front yard to recover from the years of abuse prior to moving in, and the slightly less abusive abuse since I have; it's an agonizingly slow process, and every time it starts going somewhere a large patch finds a new reason to die. (Latest was actually a bunch of small patches, due to grubs.) I have an awesome little patch in the back yard composed of raspberries and blackberries, and some struggling grape and strawberry plants as well. I'm looking forward to their fruiting; this will be the first year they'll have a not-insignificant crop. (Hurrah! Blackberries. Delicious. Now I'm waiting on the raspberries to ripen.)

Trying to decide whether I would rather be Chris Knight or Lazlo.

Where do I want my life to be in five years?

I want to have published my first computer game. Possibly my first book as well. (I'm torn between writing trash that will sell well and writing something awesome that probably wouldn't.) I'd like to have settled into a serious relationship.

Where do I want my life to be in ten years?

Ideally the first -successful- game or book has been published at this point.
I'd like a couple of children at this point. Maybe more. Maybe a lot more. (I could see six. Maybe even eight. I love the idea of a large family.)


I don't think the world in twenty years will be recognizable enough for me to be able to say what I want. I'm dubious the world will be recognizable enough in even ten years, actually.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Poetry. Programming. Planning. Not sucking at sex (really, all you have to do to not totally suck is to pay attention to your partner, how hard is that, really? Even if you can't do sex qua sex for more than ten seconds, you have a mouth, put it to use! Sorry. It irritates me that anybody is bad at sex).

Knowing the answers to questions I have no business knowing the answers to.

Using the wrong words in technical conversations. I'm really really bad about this. My knowledge tends to be fully generalized; I don't associate words, or particular meanings for words, with particular domains of knowledge. I'm also prone to making up words or phrases when I'm aware of a phenomenon but not its name.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My long blonde hair and darker beard, I expect. Yes, I'm a natural blonde. And my beard is naturally reddish (except for a white streak - yay! I'm excited about this. I'm looking forward to silver hair). And my eyebrows are naturally a third color altogether.

Occasionally, the fact that I'm wearing a kilt. My usual dress style, which I rarely vary from, includes jeans, a white shirt, and possibly an unbuttoned button-up shirt. It is -not- plaid.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand; Sunshine, Robin McKinley; The Lion King; Memento; Pushing Daisies; Wonderfalls; Coldplay; Azure Ray; and anything I cook.

Less favorite but still favored?

For books, Wheel of Time series (haven't read the stuff since Jordan died, intend to), Dresden series (anything by Jim Butcher, really), Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, and Robin McKinley. Harry Potter. Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (fanfic written by Eliezer Yudkowsky - whether or not you like Harry Potter, you must read this, it's hilarious, intelligent, and really fucking long). The Hollows series (kind of, mostly) by Kim Harrison. Lots of other stuff. My bookshelf grows annually, although most of what I read anymore is digital. Not a fan of the classics; I don't tend to relate to them very well.

Movies... The Matrix Trilogy. I actually liked the second and third more than the first, though, I'm weird like that. Inception. Few others. Not actually all that big a fan of movies. I'm one of the rare people who actually really liked the new Wizard of Oz movie whose actual name eludes me for the moment; it leaned a bit heavy on the 3D aspect, but this -could- have been made awesome, if only the creators had started it -after- arriving at Oz. Oh well.

Shows? Ruby Gloom (WATCH THIS RIGHT NOW. Gothic children's show. Insanely awesome). Dead Like Me (really, anything Bryan Fuller does is golden, even if it always gets cancelled). My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Yeah, I like a children's show, get over it. Chuck was pretty good, although I never finished the fifth season, which seemed desperate for ratings. Oh, Firefly. I like Archer, but find it hopelessly post-modern (I'm pretty sure the show is a deconstruction of modern gender stereotypes and roles); fortunately it's funny frequently enough for me to overlook the nonsense. Currently I'm watching A Bit of Fry and Laurie, which is good when it's not being political, at least once you realize it's supposed to be viewed as improv. (If you don't realize it's supposed to be improv, it comes across as ridiculous, not funny. Context is -key- to enjoying the show.)

Music... Queens of the Stone Age, Silent Stream of Godless Elegy. Splashdown, and Universal Hall Pass by extension. The Decembrists. A Cuckoo. The Cardigans. A lot of pop stuff from the 80's and 90's. Uriah Heep. My favored Pandora station uses The Smiths, The Cure, Voltaire, and Tom Petty as its primary seeds. I tend to like bittersweet music; The Verve, appropriately enough, was a long-time favorite band.

And for food... just about anything that isn't raw. I like my foods well processed.

How about blogs?

I frequent View From the Porch, Borepatch, Captain Capitalism, Judgy Bitch (probably NSFW), Quizzical Pussy (definitely NSFW), Coyote Blog, Popehat, Aretae, and Volokh Conspiracy.

What about other websites?

LessWrong, Fukung, Bash, DeviantArt (mostly to argue politics, but I used to be a very active poet there). I'm considering visiting Reddit more frequently, but don't really get what the big deal is. (My reaction to 4chan was something the same.) Also, if I figure out what the big deal is, I'll probably waste many thousands of hours of my life there. Maybe I shouldn't get into it after all.

And what about games? Where's the love for the games?

Dungeon Keeper, Final Fantasy 3/6, Chrono Trigger, Skyrim, Terraria. Dungeon Defenders -was- a favorite of mine until the developers messed it up. Team Fortress 2, likewise, was a favorite of mine until the developers messed it up (although I probably would have lost interest just because of the evolving playerbase - that's one problem with multiplayer games, the gameplay changes over time even if nothing else changes). Kingdom of Loathing. I kind of like Farcry 3 even if it is horribly misandrist and rapey. Dwarf Fortress! How could I miss Dwarf Fortress? What other game permits you to farm mermaids in horrible conditions to butcher for their fatty tissues?

Webcomics! Hell yeahs. Well, comics, but I only read the ones online anymore.

Dilbert, Frazz, Day By Day (NSFW), Oglaf (NSFW), Schlock Mercenary, SMBC, XKCD, Vexxar, Freefall, The Book of Biff (and Maximumble and Minimumble), Explosm.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I expect I would surprise myself if push came to shove.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lately? Who I am and who I want to be. They're close but not as yet the same.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...I probably shouldn't answer this question. I might tell you in person. Maybe.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have five dydoe piercings. They're new, which means sex is not on the table right now, and won't be for a while. Healing and all that.

Private is boring. How about stupid?

I once broke up a dogfight by shoving my way between the dogs. Yes, I got bit. No, I wouldn't recommend other people do this. Yes, I'd probably do it again. Although I think it might be easier to just kick the aggressor in most circumstances.
I’m looking for
  • Guys and girls who like bi guys
  • Ages 22–31
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to?

You understand that my capacity for violence and desire to protect my partner is in fact a positive trait, and more one which expects some reciprocity. If you think capacity for violence is a bad thing, we can talk about it, but if you don't change your mind we won't work out. If you think it's sexist - I'm bisexual, this applies for men and women, so fuck you and your narrow-mindedness.

You're a stoic, or interested in stoicism. Stoicism is probably the closest thing to my natural philosophy; Objectivism is my official philosophy, but I take a broader interpretation of Objectivism than most Objectivists.

You're a rationalist libertarian who enjoys jogging, reading, arguing loudly with people who are Wrong on the Internet, playing computer games, sexual exploration (I have a -lot- of toys), and can program. I'd like a pony, too, while we're at it. A pink one.

You don't mind involving yourself in message chains that can fill books. (I try to match myself to the other person, but my tendency is to keep writing more, and more, and more... last time I was on OkCupid I routinely hit the message size limit.) Honestly I enjoy sending messages back and forth more than... probably more than sex.

If you're narcissistic, by all means! Message me. We can be narcissistic together. It sounds delightful.

I guess the qualities I like best in somebody:
Honesty (seriously, even mild dishonesty is a dealbreaker for me)
Energy/exuberence (I'm a rather placid person in general; mania is a rare state for me, and one I appreciate in others)
Openness to new experiences (in general, but sexually as well)
Sense of humor
Attraction to men (I don't understand why this is even an issue, but it is)

Also - not here for sex. As my question answers may suggest, I find absolutely nothing shameful about masturbation, and have absolutely zero interest in hook-ups. I'm starting to think maybe I'm on the wrong website in this regard. If not for the addictiveness of investigating people's question answers I probably wouldn't be here. I tend to do better dating outside the dating scene context.

Also also - I'm not interested in dating everybody I message. I'll try to be honest about this up-front. The short of it is, however, I'm perfectly happy to just chat, and if you want to just chat, I'm fine with that too. I like talking to people online. If you don't want to date me, but do want to talk to me, tell me, and talk away. I'm entirely serious about the "New friends" thing up there. I've long avoided friendships and have recently decided this might be having a negative effect on my life, so have decided to rectify this. My past friendships have had a tendency to either dissolve in sexual tension or turn into relationships; trying to work on this.

Reasons you might not want to message me?

You want someone who isn't arrogant/narcissistic

You want a one night stand

You want a sex god. I'm good. I'm not great. And I'm not good because I'm skilled - I'm not - I'm good because I pay attention and am willing to learn and adapt. Which is really not so much of a "I am good" as a "What the hell is wrong with most everybody else?" Really I kind of suck at sex, it's just that the bar is so low it's hard not to clear it. That's depressing.

You don't want to read and write a novel each message

You're bothered by overcommunication. Look at my question answers if you want to see what I mean. Or don't. Maybe you shouldn't.

I have trust issues in regards to women. By which I mean not that I won't trust you - I trust everybody who doesn't give me reason not to. But it seriously doesn't take much to make me not trust you. I have had some bad experiences which have made me realize how few legal protections I have against women, and at the moment I'm overcompensating with paranoia. I am particularly distrustful of feminists. If this offends you, you can ask me why if you want, or bugger off, either way.

You want a man's man. Or you want a bishonen (this word isn't precisely right, but it's close, and I don't really know any equivalent, non-offensive Western words). I don't really care about gender norms, neither in obeying, nor rejecting them - they just don't matter to me. I may shave my legs. I may not. I might cry at you if I'm feeling down. I might not. If you like people who are strictly masculine or strictly feminine, I'm not it. I'm me.

Likewise, if you think masculinity is a bad thing. I'm me, but I'm probably more masculine than feminine. *Shrug* Just who I am.

You want somebody you don't have to spell everything out for. I may pick up on hints, but I'll ignore them. If you think a good relationship shouldn't require constant and good verbal communication, I will drive you absolutely insane.

You want a relationship with somebody you're likely to understand in the next decade. I don't really understand me, and I've lived with me for twenty six years. I'm -really complicated-, even though I actively strive to be simple; I thought I was asexual until I was twenty one. It took me another three years after that until it truly hit me that I was bisexual.