Your Myers-Briggs results mean nothing. Those are horoscopes for Atheists.
Midwest born, California reared. I lost the accent but I still open doors for people and say "Sir" and "Ma'am".
The service industry: We sleep while you work, we work while you party, and we party while you sleep.
People pay me to be funny on stage but they don't pay me enough, so you should tip at least a dollar a drink, m'kay?
I once spent a week on a boat in Vietnam eating cobra and drinking Sangsom. Travel leaves you speechless and turns you into a storyteller all at once.
I slick my hair back and wear a leather jacket, but I pull it off.
I go to Burningman just to make fun of all the other people who go to Burningman.
I wear batman underwear, like, half the time.
I like to sit in blankets and watch a movie some nights, and go out till sunrise other nights.
Making people laugh is my calling in life, and it makes me happy.
I answer questions on OKC when I'm bored, which is why I've answered so fucking many.
I was once described as "A white hipster Bill Cosby."
Also spicy peppers.