Argh!! It never ceases to amaze me how absolutely closed minded this guy is!! Just look at some of his journal entries and you'll see hwat I'm talking about. It is one thing to have an opinion on something but the way he expresses them is ignorance at its best!
The first time I ever read one of his posts was one about single mothers and it was beyond stupid. It was basically "lets blame the girls who get knocked up for being sluts or irresponsible members of society." Never mind that all too often men are congratulated on their loose morals and high number of one night stands. At the end of it all though, who is the one taking responsibility? Thats right, the single mothers. Honestly, there are some shit ass single moms out there and that's tragic. There are also some good guys out there who step up and great for them it just pisses me off how PX seems to focus only on calling out the faults of the single mothers only. Bleh.
I just read a post of his about gay marriage and it made me feel sicker then I already am. WHy is it ANYONES business to decide what is right and what isnt when it comes to love and marriage. I thought marriage was a partnership of two people who love each other and want to make their lives one. Two people who share with each other, lean on each other and love the other uncondtionally. till death do them part, for richer or poorer. Where in there does it say oh and from man to woman, most definitely not woman to woman or man to man cause thats just not cool.
Nothing makes me angrier then the people who seem to think that gay marriage shouldn't be recognized. What about it is so bad? Is it really so wrong for two poeple to love each other. Should it really be a big deal that they're the same sex. I think it should be celebrated. There isn't much left in this world thats beautiful. Love, in any formm, should most definitely be celebrated and if you have something against it then so be it, but dont think for one minute that just because you dont like it that everyone else should feel that way. Dont think that because you disagree with that that two people, who love each other, should be denied the right of marriage.
I am so so so very sick of listening to a bunch of closed minded assholes decide the futures of other's. Suck it up. Imagine if roles were reversed and homosexuality was the norm and us hetero's were being looked down on. Would you really want someone telling you that you weren't entitled to the lifestyle you wanted and the rights, that as a human being, you deserve. Seriously, think about it. You are allowed to not like it, you're allowed to say, its not for me, but no one should ever be allowed to say, "because I think it's wrong you deviants shouldn't be allowed to do it." what the hell kind of society are we living in? I say hoo haw to gar marriages and they should be legal and Im glad they are. It proves that we, as a society, are able to progress and adapt to life as it moves and changes. You don't see anyone arguing about not being a monkey anymore do you? ( okay a little bit different but still) LET IT BE, DAMNIT. YOU DONT LIKE IT, FINE, BUT DON'T SHOVE YOUR IDEALS DOWN OTHER PEOPLES THROATS.
much love, Ash ;)

Thanks for all your advice but dangit what the heck is linux. I really am hopeless when it comes to this stuff. I've never really heard about it so I have no clue what it's all about. (I'm not slow just not in the know ;) )So if someone could point me in the right direction that would just be super..lol.

In response to Why guys DON'T date single moms (part I)
by PrometheusX:

I put part I because I don't know how long or how much will be required to get all the pertinent information out, so bear with me.

Why don't guys date single moms? The question is quite complex and not as simple as a because of this or that answer. It involves some serious digging and brutal honesty, neither of which people are likely to put much effort into.

We (most guys) will not/do not date single moms because it is more effort than what it's worth (that's the plain and simple reason). It's kinda like crab meat, I love crab but I'm lazy and eating crab meat requires more effort than what I'm willing to put in.

Please allow me to quantify what a single mom is first. We are referring to all women that have and/or are responsible (for) children (living with them or not) under the age of 18. Any mom that does not have her kids with her (perhaps college or something) doesn't really qualify.

Here are some of the conflicts.

Reasons:

1) Prority, just as a woman wants to be the center of attention of her man, so does the man. He wants her completely, not to share her with her kids. He may share her with children later (but that will be his/her choice that they can make together). If a guy dates a single mom, he has to know that he will never be in the number 1 slot. NEVER.

2) Spontaneity. Imagine planning for every single thing. Going to the movies becomes a chore now, if she's got an infant or toodler, you can't go see anything past a G rating. You've got to procure a babysitter. Rated R movies are only allowed when junior is asleep. This becomes a logistical nightmare.

3) Character. This one is such a touchy subject and I will include it in here even if I get flamed. A single mom (different from a widowed mom) tells us volumes of who she is and what kind of person she is by the manner of circumstances in which she became a single mom.

Was she irresponsible and just got knocked up? Is she the type of girl that parties? Gets drunk and high and can't remember who she is or where she was last night? (side note, girls like that are fun and for the fleeting moment, but no guy wants to marry that)

Let's say she was married and didn't have the kid out of wedlock (which btw, is not viewed negatively anymore, it's even celebrated). Well, why did they get a divorce? Was her husband an asshole and beat on her? Was he a jack ass and didn't work? Secondly, why did she choose him? Why would a woman choose a guy like that? I fail to further understand why would a woman marry a guy like that if he WAS like that during the dating phase.

This of course does not apply to ALL accounts of single moms, but I bet it applies more than we would like. Excluding single mom's that keep their baby because of rape and widows that had their husbands die due to accident or occupational hazards, I will not date a single mom, friends sure. Date, no.

4) Guys that date single moms want one thing (sex, FREE Sex). Moms are proof that they've had sex. Single moms are easier to pick up because (for some strange reason) women are afraid to be alone (maybe not all, but most). A single mom must be more accomodating than women that are without children, she's also more likely to appease her man than other women. Note, that while I use the term "date" it's not really a date, these guys have no intention of any long term committment. It's just what it is, untethered sex.

5) Women fell for the feminist propaganda bullshit. Women civilize men, women make men better creatures, women are the gatekeepers and they should be more responsible. Not that men shouldn't be responsible, but the man does not have to carry the baby to term, he is not stuck with it, and most times, he's some jackass that as soon as he learns he got you pregnant, he's skipped town or never heard from again. Women think that they can have the same rights and opportunities as men, and they can but with it also comes responsibility. (this is not some political ploy or anything, I'm just telling it as it is, you don't have to agree or even like it). Why buy the cow when the milk is free. I do not condone men sleeping around, but things got worse when women thought they could sleep around...

(a side note on opportunity, check your latest collegiate sports blogger and you'll find that as opportunities open up and as women take up those opportunities, that they are no better than men, in some cases worse. I don't remember the site but some women's catholic lacrosse school got busted for hiring male strippers and having to give blowjobs as part of their initiation (hazing) program.

I think this is long enough, I'll write up a part II that deals with families... and single moms.

REBUTTALS....tee hee

1 Reason one rebuttal. To want the full attention of your significant other os perfectly normal, but if you're so dead set on being #1 above her children how would it be any different with your own. Learning to deal with shared attention is simply part of any functional relationship, even without kids. everyone knows that friends play a big role in someone's life. So if you can't handle a little attention sharing with the kids how iwll you react when she wants to spend time with her friends or what about you with our friends. hmmmmmmmm.

2. Surprisingly enough, it's not always as difficult as you think to plan an outing. Lots of single mothers have friend and family willing to babysit when needed, not to mention doing things that include the children is an excellent way to bond with them. remember, its not like your filling in as a daddy you, you're becoming their friend. Plus, I think the living room couch and a flick from blockbuster is a welcome alternative to a theatre, its more comfy, you can watch in your jammies and the snacks don't cost an arm and leg.

3. This is partially true, I will admit. A peron's ( not simply a single mothers but any person) situation is usually and very good indicationt to what kind of a person they are. But, and this is a big but (J-Lo big) A single mother is not always such by choice and even a single mother is someone who has made a mistake that does not by any means make her an unfavourable person. Mistakes are what makes us human and its through mistakes that we learn. So in saying that, you could even look at it as, wel she made that mistake to becomem impregnated but Im she learned from it, and became more responsible. Same with the single mothers who are single by choice, they made the the decision to be alone to better her famitly situation, that's fantastic that shows what a strong person, same as the woman who's husband left her. She's staying strong and keepin on.

Now, to point out something like, was she someone who partied and ot drunk and was irresponsible in that sense. well, duh, how many kids these aren't like that. and its not jsut girls, there a plenty and i mean plenty of guys who get tanked on a regular basis, does that make them bad people, no, irresposible yes, but not bad. same for the girl who got impregnated by that bad decision. Only difference is she cleaned up her act to raise the child right. (Now, this is not always true because some party hardy girls do not abandon their old ways and this is sad indeed because it's the child who suffers, these mothers should be ashamed) and the whole why'd the woman marry the bad guy, well they're not always bad at first and they sure can fool ya. keep that in mind.

4. This statement turns my stomach mostly because its sadly true in a way. There are lower than low men who do such things to women and that is sad. But I don't like the whole, women with children accomodate men more, or they appease them more. that has nothing to do with being a mom and everything to do with a woman who doesnt like to be alone. yes, even women without kids are like that, so don't single out the single moms. thre are some out there but most single mom's dont want some loser sex pig hanging around her house around her kids, thank you very much. Single mothers are strong women who aren't so easily taken in, if they were afraid to be alone, they wouldnt be single mothers....

5. Now this is a real winner...churning stomach..ack. This is the most awful of things, I love it really...men arent stuck with it... how sad is that. truth be told, guys, women aren't stuck with it either, there are options out there. abortion, adoption, but these girls didnt choose to run away like the coward men, they stepped up. There is no, meh women have to guys don't. just because the woman carries the baby doesn't mean its hers only. that baby is as musch his as it is hers, shes simply the oven. men make the conscience choice to abandon that baby because they think thats okay, that's the real injustice in this world. That men continue to think its okay to bail because hell, she carried it, she can keep it. Its a sad sad sad thing when someone can disregard such a miraculous thing as a baby. makes me wanna cry. and as for the whole sleeping around comment... Why buy the cow when the milk is free. I do not condone men sleeping around, but things got worse when women thought they could sleep around... these are the exact words used and does anyone else see something wrong with this....when women thought they could too...hahaha omg I can't beleive he said that. who says women can't but men can. why because we're the ones who end up carrying the child..no no no. this has nothing to do with sleeping around and everything to do with doing it unprotected, lets get things straight here people. thats the choice made by both parties and thats the choice that matters. not whether you sleep around but that you were unprotected. der. if you wanna be a hoe, man or woman, then knock yourself out but be responsible and cover up ;) Oh and seriously, who cares what some catholic school girls did with some strippers, men have been doing it for a long long long long long time. so lets not even go there. ;) Alrighty then, I think I've made my point for now :) just remember folks, in life you must always keep an open mind, people are not defined by their mistakes or the number of children they have and by focusing too hard on positive things being negative you may be missing the greatest thing to ever grace your presence. Life is about trying new things so what the hell right, dont knock til you try it. sometimes life throws you curve balls and you hit a home run ;) Love n kisses, Ashton

In response to Why guys DON'T date single moms (part I)
by PrometheusX:

I put part I because I don't know how long or how much will be required to get all the pertinent information out, so bear with me.

Why don't guys date single moms? The question is quite complex and not as simple as a because of this or that answer. It involves some serious digging and brutal honesty, neither of which people are likely to put much effort into.

We (most guys) will not/do not date single moms because it is more effort than what it's worth (that's the plain and simple reason). It's kinda like crab meat, I love crab but I'm lazy and eating crab meat requires more effort than what I'm willing to put in.

Please allow me to quantify what a single mom is first. We are referring to all women that have and/or are responsible (for) children (living with them or not) under the age of 18. Any mom that does not have her kids with her (perhaps college or something) doesn't really qualify.

Here are some of the conflicts.

Reasons:

1) Prority, just as a woman wants to be the center of attention of her man, so does the man. He wants her completely, not to share her with her kids. He may share her with children later (but that will be his/her choice that they can make together). If a guy dates a single mom, he has to know that he will never be in the number 1 slot. NEVER.

2) Spontaneity. Imagine planning for every single thing. Going to the movies becomes a chore now, if she's got an infant or toodler, you can't go see anything past a G rating. You've got to procure a babysitter. Rated R movies are only allowed when junior is asleep. This becomes a logistical nightmare.

3) Character. This one is such a touchy subject and I will include it in here even if I get flamed. A single mom (different from a widowed mom) tells us volumes of who she is and what kind of person she is by the manner of circumstances in which she became a single mom.

Was she irresponsible and just got knocked up? Is she the type of girl that parties? Gets drunk and high and can't remember who she is or where she was last night? (side note, girls like that are fun and for the fleeting moment, but no guy wants to marry that)

Let's say she was married and didn't have the kid out of wedlock (which btw, is not viewed negatively anymore, it's even celebrated). Well, why did they get a divorce? Was her husband an asshole and beat on her? Was he a jack ass and didn't work? Secondly, why did she choose him? Why would a woman choose a guy like that? I fail to further understand why would a woman marry a guy like that if he WAS like that during the dating phase.

This of course does not apply to ALL accounts of single moms, but I bet it applies more than we would like. Excluding single mom's that keep their baby because of rape and widows that had their husbands die due to accident or occupational hazards, I will not date a single mom, friends sure. Date, no.

4) Guys that date single moms want one thing (sex, FREE Sex). Moms are proof that they've had sex. Single moms are easier to pick up because (for some strange reason) women are afraid to be alone (maybe not all, but most). A single mom must be more accomodating than women that are without children, she's also more likely to appease her man than other women. Note, that while I use the term "date" it's not really a date, these guys have no intention of any long term committment. It's just what it is, untethered sex.

5) Women fell for the feminist propaganda bullshit. Women civilize men, women make men better creatures, women are the gatekeepers and they should be more responsible. Not that men shouldn't be responsible, but the man does not have to carry the baby to term, he is not stuck with it, and most times, he's some jackass that as soon as he learns he got you pregnant, he's skipped town or never heard from again. Women think that they can have the same rights and opportunities as men, and they can but with it also comes responsibility. (this is not some political ploy or anything, I'm just telling it as it is, you don't have to agree or even like it). Why buy the cow when the milk is free. I do not condone men sleeping around, but things got worse when women thought they could sleep around...

(a side note on opportunity, check your latest collegiate sports blogger and you'll find that as opportunities open up and as women take up those opportunities, that they are no better than men, in some cases worse. I don't remember the site but some women's catholic lacrosse school got busted for hiring male strippers and having to give blowjobs as part of their initiation (hazing) program.

I think this is long enough, I'll write up a part II that deals with families... and single moms.

WHY THIS STATEMENT MAKES ME ILL PART 1

Hold on hold on, before you can go making uneducated remarkes about single mothers, walk a mile in their shoes. Not enough people give credit to us single moms. There are so many people who are wuick to judge and say, god that girl is so irresponsible going out and getting herself pregnant. what is she thinking. people see a young girl walking down the street with her baby and they shake their heads. Why? tell me why you look down on these girls. Since when does it take one to make a baby? thats right folks it takes two people, two bad decisions, and two make that child, but tell me, when all is said and done, who is it raising that baby?? that's right, the single mom's you all look down on are the ones who stand up and take their responsibility. I think that deserves a round of applause.

the fact is, we are all human and we make mistakes, we all make these bad decisions but far too often people are shaking their heads at the wrong people. Yes she may be young, yes she may have her whole life infront of her but dangit that girl stood up and took care of that baby, and wheres the daddy, ha, who knows. too many men walk away from their responsibility and its sick and wrong. atleast the girls are taking responsibility for their actions, too bad the same cant be said for the opposite sex. and of course there are exceptions, lots of young fathers take their rightful place as daddies and kudos to them. but face the facts, young single mothers deserve more credit then what you give them, you should respect these girls rather than look down on them, they didn't abort or give up their kids, they took the consequence, and what a god one it is am i right ladies :)

now as for us single mom's who had the unfourtunate luck of falling for the wrong guy, we still deserve the same respect. Ya, it's easy to say, well why'd you marry him in the first place, or have a kid with him if hes that much of a jerk. well the great part about that is, most of these guys are not jerks form the start. they are sweet, and caring and understanding and you think finally, the right guy. so you settle down and start a family and then things take a sickening turn for the worse. he becomes a vile, angry monter who puts you down and treats you like dirt. then youre faced with the most difficult decision in the world...should I stay or should i go. No onw really understand how hard it is to make that decision until you've been faced with it. But seriosly, respect that woman for making the decidion to leave his sorry ass because she made the right choice. who wants to see children raised in an unhappy and volitile environment. good for her for removing that negativity, it takes more guts than you know and a lot of woman cant do that, they're not strong enough to face the world alone with their children and so they put up with the abuse and put on a happy face to the surrounding world. whts better, put up with someones abuse and have your children grow up frightened, or leave his but and let your children grow up happy. der, thats a hard one.

Now as for the women whos husbands left them, tough shit to go through. maybe there was a solid reason like the relationship wasnt wroking (people to grow apart you know ) in which case most of the time the man still does his part, thank you, but some of the times the become the ever popular dead beat dad. lovely. now imagine being a woman who has to not only support these children by herself but explain to her kids why their father ignores them or doesnt call or spend time with them. hows that for easy as pie..ha.

Really, its easy for a man to say these kind of things about single mothers, how we're irresponsible or bad judges of characters and what not. well they can say all they wany because any single mother out there knows just how hard it is and can feel proud that she is doing alll she can to make sure her children grow up happy and healthy. they work three jobs or whatever, not many men could do that. It's amazing thing really when a woman steps up and does this sort of thing. So seriously people, next time you see that young girl puching her stroller, or the mother whos taking her kids to school on her way to work, take a second to respect her because she is working harder then most people to make her kids happy, and take a second to think of the irresponsible guy who left her with nothing, or impregnated her for one night of fun at her expense. (dont forget we love the dads who do their part:)..) Yes we make mistakes but we also pay for them, we take out responsibility so instead of focusing on our mistakes, respect that we accept our consequence. thanks for reading sorry for any typos, when I'm passionate I lack the attention to detail ;) Ashton, Proud single mother of two awesome boys.