I am.... funny, laid back, an aggressive driver, pretty awesome, queer friendly, open-minded, very tolerant, music loving, previously-sheltered, more-to-love, necklace-loving, gum-chewing, tic-tac popping, immature, goofy, a conglomerate of contradictions, book-loving, pancake-desiring, flip flop wearing, unique, great with a grill, creative, a social creature, animal-loving, absent minded, innocent of most movies, never watching TV, more attracted to women...

I currently live with my girlfriend and her six-year-old and her husband. Dating guys is fine (but rare), dating girls has to have approval. Simply being friends is fine. I am polyamorous.

I am also plus sized, fat, overweight, whatever else you want to call it. I call it more to love. If this offends you, that's fine. I understand. This is just in case you're failing to read the rest of my page here; we certainly don't want you to find out you're attracted to the mind and personality of someone who doesn't meet today's standards of beauty. Nope, can't have that.

I love to hang out (once we surpass the initial awkwardness) and love trying new things. Currently, I'm exploring polyamory, and will be more than happy to talk to you about my views on it. I'm still too new to the whole thing to say for certainty that I am 100% polyamorous; I have a feeling that like most everything else in my life, the label assigned to my sexuality / relationship(s) will remain fluid. Much like the way my eyes change colour.

I have issues sitting still and rotting my brain for long periods of time, so it's rare to find me in front of the boobtube. At least the internet offers some stimulation. I find that I have to either have my mind engaged, or my hands moving -- I've recently discovered a form of origami involving folding long, thin strips of paper to make dream stars. They're absolutely lovely in glass jars. Recently, I've been exploring ways of making said stars into earrings or jewelry.

I also love reading; quite a bit of my paycheck is spent at Half-Price Books and Borders. That is, of course, when my dogs let me read. The youngest feels like she should be center of attention, and loves to lay on my bed. The combination is sometimes horrible for paperbacks.

Socially awkward and initially shy are some great words to describe me, right along with funny and smart ass. I love watching Disney movies and singing along with them; I make killer chocolate-covered strawberries, and amazing brownies; I don't like the colour yellow and cooked/warmed up fruit. Ramen and popcorn make me sick, the only good beer is (Kriek) Lambic and pizza is only good occasionally. Unless we're talking a non-greasy white-sauce based pizza; then you have my attention and possibly love.

I used to spend a lot of time hanging out at Hippie Hollow and Gus Fruh with people or my dogs. I'd worked on acquiring a tan this summer, something I haven't had in ages, but don't feel the need to sit out at the local pool and ogle people who happen to pass by. I like not being home as much as possible, and love spending time with people even to do silly/stupid activities like curling up on a couch or futon to watch movies or attempting to kick someone's arse at skeeball and air hockey.
Update: The tan is had! Now the trick is to blend in the tan lines. And... get darker still. I plan on stockpiling this baby until 2011 if possible.

Like I mentioned somewhere up there, I'm more attracted to females, and want to explore that right now rather than males. I've dated men over and over; a lot of the b/s is the same, and I'm wanting something different. MtFs tend to make me happy, but the general mindset of most FtMs rubs me the wrong way. I've had very little interaction with other gender orientations, and am equal opportunity. However, each person is different, so please don't assume I'll automatically like / dislike you just because of physical attributes. Assume I'll do it for your mental attributes instead.

Also. Very important. I'm very laid back and relaxed, not picky about most things, but have my OCD moments. I like most everything, and am willing to try something before I say no. I prefer going with the flow instead of trying to force my opinions on others.

Currently, I'm just trying to survive, and figure out what I want to do long term. Eventually I want to own some land somewhere that feels like the middle of nowhere, but is less than 10 miles from civilization, and use it to generate solar power and collect rain water, while providing a place for mistreated and unloved animals to become rehabilitated. Or, you know, win the lottery. I'm good either way. Until then, I'm making do with a customer service job with a steady company, spending time with my Labradors, and hanging out with friends, inside or out. I work 40 hours a week with a 30 minute commute either way. I also have to check schedules and goings-on of two other adults and a six year old before I can commit to something. If I can't give you a date-in-stone for something, apologies. It's nothing personal, promise!

I also like to travel lots and have been spending just about every other weekend (when possible!) in Killeen with one of my best friends, and the occasional weekend in Dallas with more friends! When I'm in Austin, I like to sleep! And hang out with other awesome people. I'm planning a trip to Colorado sometime soon to visit one of the awesomest, most beautiful people I know. Week long vacation to play in snow and eat great sushi and have lots of sex for the win.

Other (important) things I'm doing:
-- Finding words that rhyme with other words (serpent =/= purple; surgeon = virgin; etc)
-- Making fun noises and goofy faces
-- Not being at home
-- Cuddling
-- Making Origami things
-- Spending money
-- Finding new places to eat at
-- Drawing on people
-- Giving foot rubbings
-- Losing my keys and cell phone constantly
-- Blinking, breathing
-- EATING SUSHI NOMNOMNOM midori rolls <333
-- Getting lei'd 8D (I like leis)
-- Adding miles to my caaaaaaaar (It's over nine thousaaaaaaaaaaand!!)
-- Forgetting what I'm doing in the middle of doing it
-- Not having rhythm
-- eating soup out of over-sized coffee mugs
-- trying to get involved more with people in real space
-- chatting with people about nothing on AIM and yahoo
-- talking like a parrot
-- sleeping with oversized stuffed animals
-- singing songs and dancing like someone who can't dance. 'cause I can't
-- talking about work-related things outside of work
-- being more introspective on my feelings
-- trying to overcome this fear of rejection

I'm awesome at making people laugh. In a job like mine, the best way to not be driven to drink after work is to not get yelled at; laughter and humor go a long way. Besides, life's too short to spend it in a perpetual gloom. I've been told my sense of humor is a little skewed, and can be very sarcastic, but I can almost always make people laugh. I'll say what's on my mind without thinking twice, and while sometimes it gets me in trouble, it usually works all for the better. WARNING: I make sexist, racist, and in-bad-taste jokes/comments all the time. I don't mean them, but they usually make people smile. Please let me know if I offend you with my humor; that's definitely not my goal.

I spend a lot of time fluctuating between being quiet and loud, shy and outgoing. The better we know each other, the more relaxed I become and the less I care about what others think of me.

I'm also awesome at being a goofball and a dork, and I've been told I'm great to cuddle with. I'm pretty handy with arts-and-craft type stuff, and have been feeling the urge to get back into jewelry making again (hemp necklaces, etc.) I also have this fascination lately with making candy. Peanutbutter bon bons are a favourite, along with chocolate covered fruit and nuts, and... nom nom nom noms.

Similarly, I'm really good at spending money. Really good. ... It's bad.

I assume it's my eyes. "What pretty eyes you have" is not uncommon to hear; "Thanks, I grew them myself" is along the lines of a typical response. If not my eyes, then it's probably the necklace I've been wearing since I was 10. I almost never take it off, though it has little significance to me. I simply feel naked without it.

... Or my tits. I'm used to people staring at them. Sometimes I stare at them myself if there's glitter or shiny things involved. (I have this lotion that smells like 80's fake MLP-like strawberries, not the "real fruit like scent!" that seems popular these days that has glitter built in. It's a great way to keep me occupied with shiny objects for a few minutes. Or hours.)

Should any of these fail to garner notice, or if someone is just listening to me, it's probably the potentially offensive/funny statement that just came out of my mouth.

I love to read, and my iPod is constantly needing to be recharged. I'm up for trying anything new at least once, maybe twice, and recommendations for new and interesting artists, authors and movies will always be appreciated. Expect the following lists to constantly change and (never) be updated.

Books: Kushiel Trilogy (Carey), Black Jewels trilogies (...), Xanth novels (Anthony), the Myth Books (Asprin), Stuff by Mercedes Lackey, Piers Anthony, Robert Asprin.... I do make use of my library card.

Movies: Titan A.E., Meet Joe Black, Pan's Labyrinth, Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, MLP Series, ...

Music: Basshunter, Celtic Women, Katy Perry, Scooter, The Postal Service, Erin McCarley, Hellogoodbye, Pink, The Bloodhound Gang, Paramore, The Model UN, Sean Kingston, Taylor Swift, Anzan, Natasha Beddingfield, Flyleaf, Da Vinci's Notebook, Apocalyptica, Garbage, Greenday, Of Montreal, ...

Food: Chuy's super nachos, ice cream, steak (omnomnomnom,) most meats (I really could never be a vegetarian, I like meat too much,) sandwiches, gummi bears

Six things I could never do without:
- Love -- friends, family, pets, complete strangers
- Animals-- Four-legged, scaled, lap-sized or gargantuan; I love 'em all.
- Sweet treats-- Chocolate? What more is there to say?
- Pretty smelling things-- perfume, body spray, shower gel, sachets. I like smellgoods.
- My Cell -- it's great to stay connected with all my friends, everywhere. I also use it to check email now. I don't twitter though; that would make me a twit.
- My car. ;; I just got it, and if you try to make me give it up, I'll hurt you.

... the future; where I want to be, how to get there, and how to not kill anyone in the process. I'm also attracted to shiny objects, and will flit from idea to idea, thought to thought fairly quickly. My mind simply doesn't work like most people's.
... I also tend to stare at stuff and imagine how to make it. I never do, but it's nice to think about.
... I also try to check the exits and the bathrooms so I know where I am and don't get lost.
... the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
... where I left my house keys/cellphone/iPod.
... the people I care about most and what I can do to make them smile and laugh.
... why my skin isn't more soft. ):
... how to attract unicorns.
... what to spend the night doing.
... how to say what I mean without hurting your feelings. Words elude me.
... if I really do snore at night sometimes, or if people have just been lying to me. And if I do, how I can stop snoring without reverting to dorky breathe-right strips.
... what if life really was a musical.
... your tits. Or maybe your smile. Or both.

Gah. Friday night? ): I usually spend my nights doing stuff, Friday or otherwise. I love spending time with my friends, and meeting new people. I'm up for a night out clubbing, curled up with a movie, snuggling on the couch, a late night swim, rustling up tasty grub, playing board games, playing with puppies, frolicking in fields, flying kites, sleeping, making a mess, playing with make up, talking for ever about absolutely nothing, playing with bubble wrap, and so much more.

Usually my plans for ANY night aren't decided until a few hours before hand. Sure, I'll agree to you-and-me, but beyond that? Who knows. (:

See also: hot lesbian sex

... is that even though I'm a BBW, I don't think I ever want to lose all my curves. Could I lose some weight? Most people could stand to, myself included. Will I drop down to a size 2? No. And I'm happy with that. I don't want to see each and every bone in my body, thanks.

... I don't really like being tickled. Occasionally, and with the right people, maybe.

... People who move too fast scare the shit out of me. I'm not here to talk about a future with us in 3 years. I'm here to have fun. Should I find exactly what I'm looking for, cheers! But it's not my goal.

... I like my cleavage, but hate my tits.

... I hate having my back to the door, I don't like being in a crowded place full of strangers, and having people walk behind me squicks me out.

... I worry too much. If I don't hear from you and think that I should have by now, I'm assuming you're dead. Or that you got mauled by a bear. Or that you decided you hate me and just don't know how to tell me. Or that you won the lottery and think I'll demand a share of the money. Really, these are lots of things I worry about.

... I looked at your profile, and you're now looking at mine and see something you like. Chances are, there's something about you that I like, but I'm horrible at starting conversation. It's a fear of rejection.

... you've gotten all the way through this and have yet to fall asleep or run screaming from the room.

... you know the difference between their/there/they're.

... you love to play in the rain, and eat pancakes at 3am, even if you have to make them yourself.

... the thought of being painted on or drawn on with markers makes you happy.

... you're not a creepy person who wants to hook up for a night of drunken sex. Or hook up just for sex.

... you understand that the ADD applies to my everyday self, and I may be slow to reply unless of course, you really intrigue me. Also, if your message to me is in chat speak or has horribly atrocious basic grammar/spelling, I usually won't respond.

... You understand that I forget to turn IMs off when I have the Firefox plug in up and running, so half the time I'm not here. Or if I reply to your message, I'm also doing four million other things and may get side-tracked.

... You understand that I tend to ramble and think you may be amused by this. I can ramble for hours about nothing and pirates and sexual kinks and llamas... Other times, I just have no idea what to say.

You should NOT message me if...

... if you've messaged me, messaged me again, and followed up with one more chaser message, and I don't reply to you. Really, just... Take the hint. I'm not THAT forgetful, promise.

... you for some reason see that fact that I like girls as a reason to try and "fix me" 'cause I promise... I'm not broken.

... you don't smell nice. I've totally molested random strangers just because they smell good. I've never done it to someone who smells bad. Coincidence? ... No.