Hey everyone, watch me describe my whole being in just a few paragraphs!

My name is Mike and I signed up as an experiment, not out of desperation. Don't confuse the two.

I've moved around the northeast a bit before calling Long Island home and it's kind of nice, except for all the punks, wiggas, popped collar preps, princesses and other idiots. A swim and the warm sun can do wonders from time to time, even for non-beach people.

I enjoy immersing myself in projects. Not only do they result in some practical use, but it's a chance for me to keep learning now that I'm out of school. I've taught myself how to work on laptops with the failed idea of making cash, install new speakers, subwoofers and amplifiers in my car and decorate my house with Christmas lights and decorations that dance to music.

I love sports. Yes, I do have other interests, but don't be surprised to find me yelling at the television once in a while. I'm a lifelong New York mets and Giants fan. Hockey's a blast to watch in person, even if the New York Islanders are a disappointment.

I grew up playing the clarinet and being able to read music. However, I bought an electric guitar and an amp so I could pretend that I'd teach myself to play like every other untalented garage band guitarist.

Despite the fact I write for a living, I still can't truely describe myself in a few paragraphs, so please ask away. Don't be shy, I don't bite... hard ;)

I've been working as a General Assignment Reporter with Long Islander News, a series of three weekly papers up in the Town of Huntington, for three years plus. In addition to keeping my finger on the pulse of the Village of Northport, I get sent to cover car accidents, stupid people being arrested, major business deals, governments, people doing awesome things, high school sports and many other terribly interesting things. I also crack the whip over our editorial interns.

For the time being my future is still in print journalism, although I still haven't ruled out IT or something else. Who knows, maybe I'll end up in a tech magazine or negotiating between cops and hostages?

I dunno, stuff, and definitely that breathing thing.

I don't know if I would say I'm good at it, but I do a lot of tinkering and DIY stuff with computers and car/home audio. Most of the time it works, so I'd call that a success.

I've also learned a lot about beer by helping my friend brew for over a year now. They're not all winners and the hop/wheat shortage isn't helping, but there's a couple that have come out really well.

I guess I get a lot of comments about the long blonde hair.

A. The only things that come to mind off-hand are Bram Stoker's "Dracula," Michael Crichton's "Prey," George Carlin's "Napalm and Silly Putty" and "Why We Suck" by Denis Leary. I'm in the middle of Crime and Punishment, but starting and stopping is fairly annoying with all of the Russian nouns and sulking by the main character.

B. I'll watch a lot of movies, especially mindfucks, but I've also been told by many friends that I have "bad" or "unusual" tastes. Maybe it's because I prefer John Carpenter's Vampires over Napoleon Dynamite. Blazing Saddles, Full Metal Jacket and Sixth Sense immediately come to mind. I also like comedies, even some that come across as dopey or bizarre, ala Kung Pow and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. By the way, and I know this is actually television, but Family Guy is overrated and can't hold a candle to Futurama or South Park.

C. I'll listen to a lot, including but not limited to: classic rock, rock, 80's hair metal, metal, speed metal, Gothenburg metal, jazz and Jimmy Buffet. My full-time list includes Rush, Iron Maiden, Blind Guardian, Van Halen, Aerosmith, Dream Theater and Dragonforce. And because I've no shame, I have no problem admitting that I enjoy listening to several songs from Rock Band. One note, I do not care for The Beatles one iota.

D. Ask, if you really care. I do strongly dislike Ranch dressing, mustard and Pimento loaf. ::shudders:: Who really eats Pimento Loaf? And just like The Beatles, I swim against the rest of the school when it comes to cheese, foul stuff.

1. The Truth 2. Family/friends 3. Sneakers, jeans/shorts, a t-shirt and my hat; I hate getting dressed up when I could just be comfortable 4. Computer/Internet (I nearly went through withdrawal when the net went down in our office one day) 5. A source of music to enjoy, inspire, obfuscate background noise or all of the above (i.e. computer, radio, iPod, etc.) 6. My pocket knife (McGuyver's my hero! ;)

Anything and everything, at any time, just like everyone else.

Seriously, it's astounding how everyone thinks they're unique in how they actually ponder mysteries about life and the universe, or at least what's going on with them... But yeah, I do a lot of thinking.

Use your imagination.

When I think about you I touch myself ;)

You breathe air and have two brain cells that you can rub together.