This is where I’m supposed to put how online dating is really sketchy but I’m trying it anyway. Clearly going up to a random girl at a bar and buying her a drink before I know anything about her is the ideal. Personally, I’m cool with spending a few minutes on this to filter out bad matches.

I guess now I put how I like to have fun (because if I didn’t I would totally have made a profile here), meet new people (see above), enjoy sports and video games (I am a guy after all), get along with my family (people who hate their family put something about being independent instead), and so on. But clearly I’m different from [all the other random guys with identical profiles], so you should contact me.

If you’re not convinced yet, here’s some [less generic] stuff about me:

I’ve been described as independent, original, analytical, and determined. I’m also laid-back; I can find humor in almost every situation, and I don’t get offended easily. I think excessive political correctness is retarded. I take life as it comes; if it was too easy, I‘d probably get bored. My father is English and Italian and my mother is Lebanese and Kurdish. Apparently my DNA is a holy war waiting to happen.

I’ve traveled to every continent except Australia (and Antarctica of course). I’ve also read Hammurabi’s Code in the original. I've met Motley Crue twice. My great, great grandfather was one of the [Ottoman] heroes of Gallipoli.

I'm in grad school studying business/public policy, basically so people can pay me lots of money to tell them how to run their company. Before that I spent a few years running around NYC with a badge investigating police brutality.

Jigsaw puzzles. And the NYTimes Crossword through Thursday.

I also make really cool Arabic calligraphy with gel pens. And slightly less cool model planes/cars with paints whose labels claim they cause birth defects in California (but apparently nowhere else).

The massive tootsie roll surgically attached to my hip?

Honestly, this is something you should ask someone else.

Books: My favorite authors are Hemingway, Kipling, and Edward Lear. But I'm also a big fan of mindless sci-fi/fantasy pulp. I try to read the Economist every week.

Movies: I love watching bad 80's action/sci-fi flicks, but I'm open to most movies.

Shows: I'm currently working my way though all of both the X-Files (I'm on Season 6) and South Park (Season 3). I don't watch much current [non-sports] TV but Burn Notice and Strike Back are pretty good.

Music: I like most stuff depending on my mood. Big fan of Motley Crue, The Birthday Massacre, Within Temptation, Disturbed, Garbage, Kesha, and Aqua.

Food: I like most types of food, especially Vietnamese, Japanese, Afghan, Indian, etc. Pretty much anything that's not covered in peanut sauce (not a fan of Thai, sorry). And ice cream is always good. One of my dreams is to have an ice cream wedding cake.

Google.
My iPod.
Seamlessweb.
Books.
DVR.
Daily Showers.

In college I spent a lot of time trying to come up with a moral code for myself that was free of hypocrisy or other contradictions, I feel like a lot of people will pick something and just gloss over stuff they don't like. I'm still working on it.
(No, this does not mean I think you are not moral or your moral code is bad. If anything it highlights why one should avoid such judgments.)

On a date with someone new and exciting? Crying alone in a corner? Only you can decide...

Some fun date ideas: planetarium laser shows, amusement parks, museums, scrabble/chess plus drinks, ice skating, swing dancing at Lincoln Center, chocolate fondue, and/or ice cream. Dinner and a movie can always work too.

When I was growing up I was a bit of a nerd so my mom used to punish me by taking away my novels.

[none or more of the following]

- You laughed at my profile.
- You have freckles and/or red hair.
- You want to see Fuerzabruta/Book of Mormon.
- You enjoy live music.
- You do things well rather than good.
- You want to be my derivative.
- You want to be my statistically significant other.
- You were a Toys "R" Us Kid.
- You think Improv Everywhere would be a fun date.
- You are tempted to "suggest" correcting typos in other people's profiles.
- You are looking for more than penpals/friends on here.
- You promise not to chop me up and eat me.