Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


28 M Derry, NH

My Details

Last Online
Jul 24
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
Likes dogs and has cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
I'm Dave, and I'm a very eccentric human being. I've noticed that I'm a terribly poor fit for OKC, but that doesn't mean I'm capable of resisting the urge to message the small handful of girls who interest me here. A few points about myself:

-My taste in women is very difficult to describe, and doesn't resonate with most other men, I've found. If I had to take a shot at elaborating on this, I'd say my perfect woman is simply someone who is passionate about their interests and capable of long, intricate conversation, but is often mistook for an hourglass with a red wig on it.
-I am a tremendous believer in chemistry, so if it doesn't work I try not to force it.
-If there is one thing I avoid, it's dishonesty. I like discussing things openly and bluntly, but do not get many opportunities to do so since my sense of humor is dark and I enjoy using curse words.
-I was forced to purchase a second fitted top hat after my first one was stolen.
-I can take rejection, so if you aren't feeling it? Tell me. I won't OKC-guy rage or try to call you ugly. I actually really hate this about my gender and I take great pains to avoid it.
What I’m doing with my life
Working towards my degree. At my own pace, of course, but working towards it nonetheless goddammit.
I’m really good at
People would have so much more to say in this box if it was "I'm really terrible at"

I used to be good at sports, then I discovered you could buy trophies. Now I'm good at everything. (That's a Dimitri Martin quote, and I don't feel bad for stealing it. But I should.)
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm obnoxiously tall, and my voice is very deep and commanding. At least that's what I presume they notice, how the hell would I know for sure? Also I laugh like Jeff Goldblum's character from Jurassic Park.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
For book, I'd probably say the entire song of Ice and Fire series (horribly nerdy yes, but its probably more masculine than answering Harry Potter)
I maintain that the Shawshank redemption is the best movie ever made, but there is a special place in my heart for Total Recall.
My musical taste is pretty terrible, to be honest. I have a huge thing for alternative rock of the 90's, though, which is pretty classy.
Food? Delicious birthday cake that has been forcibly taken from a small child is the only real answer.
The six things I could never do without
First, let me say that this is the best question on OKC profiles, why? Because most women use it to proudly and openly hoist their red flags in the air for everyone to see. Can't live without Twilight, drugs, or god? Yeah, I don't think we're going to make it.

To be fair, here are mine. They're probably not very flattering. In no particular order:
Sugary-sweet foods
Misogynistic humor.
That wonderful feeling you get when people are paying attention to you, like when you're getting a backrub or the doctor has a finger in your bum.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
This is not a question you ask a man, because really to be honest all men think about is sex, and what animals can defeat each other in a fight.
On a typical Friday night I am
If you recognise my username, you probably know. I'm not proud.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Remember when I said that I was honest and open? I meant that. But what does a woman look for in this box? I shit my pants once when I was 21, and that's pretty private, but somehow I'm almost positive that's not what is being asked.

Oh, I know--I don't want kids, and my sperm count reflects this. I probably will never be your husband, either. Yes, really. Also, when I see the OKC badge that says "Less desiring of sex" I audibly shout "THEN WHAT GOOD ARE YOU" at my computer screen.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You've actually read all of this, because if so god bless you.

Failing that, you may still message me if:
-The scene in the Watchmen where the Comedian forces himself onto Silk Spectre gets you hotter than you're willing to admit.
-You like beards and are okay with waiting indefinitely for a washboard stomach.
-You're stripping to pay for your Art History degree
-If you accidentally spilled a drink with your big breasts recently.
-if the phrase "r/spacedicks" means anything to you.