There doesn't seem to be a "re-order posts" feature, so in lieu of that, here's a table of contents. These are oldest (bottom) to newest (top):

 

* Goals in Life, Goals in Romance

(Long-winded description of what's important to me in life. Probably the best thing to read if you want to know what motivates me.)

 

* Schedules

(Exactly what it says on the tin. Probably the best thing to read if you want to meet for tea.)

 

* Compatibility

(Long-winded description of things that make me more or less likely to bond with someone/to be compatible in a relationship with someone. A very good idea to read if you're interested in dating me, as it'll give you a good idea of what I'm like without having to dig through 900+ questions.)

In my relationship post, I write that compatibility is the biggest indicator of whether or not I'll fall in love with someone. The most accurate way to find how compatible we are is to check my profile and then my questions (sorted by "important to you", "important to him", and "we disagree on"/"unacceptable answers"). The short version, though, would be to check the following lists.

 

Things that make me more likely to bond with someone:

 

* You're interested in me and are aggressive about showing it.

- Perhaps it's the "prey" response, perhaps it's just that it's flattering, but I respond well to women who decide they want to chase me. If you're interested in me, this is one of the better ways to get me interested in you in return.

- I have trouble telling whether a woman is flirting with me or just being friendly. "Being friendly" is the correct interpretation most of the time, so that is my default assumption. You're going to have to be explicit about your interest if you want me to know that you're interested at all.

 

* We have interests in common.

- Bonding with someone is a mental and emotional process for me as much as a physical one. With a new significant other, I'll talk long into the night as we discuss shared interests and experiences. If we run out of things to talk about by the end of a lunch trip, that isn't a good sign.

 

* You are comfortable with and enjoy physical affection.

- Words and touch are the two main ways by which I show and receive affection. Of these, touch is probably the most important. I reserve most forms of physical contact (hugging, kissing, caressing) for my significant other or extremely close friends, so if I'm hugging you, it means I have strong feelings for you. If you're the one who initiated contact, it's a great way to get through most of my defenses and let me know that you do have interest.

- I consider sex to be an expression of love. If I'm willing to sleep with you, it means that I've already said "I love you", and this is my tactile equivalent of restating it, and of hearing you state it in return. It will take time to reach this level of trust with me.

- The corollary is that if you aren't comfortable with physical affection, we aren't going to be compatible in a relationship.

 

* You want to get to know me better and have taken the time to try to do so.

- I find interest flattering, and it's also a good sign that a person is serious in their intentions. My profile and journal supplements are short enough to be a quick read; believe me, if I've invited you to tea, I'll already have read yours.

- By the time I agree to tea, I'll probably have given you enough information to find my real-life identity, and more information about me and about my hobbies and interests. By that time, I'll also have been inquiring about yours. Learning about each other is a bonding process; if you don't have any desire to get to know me better, that's not a good sign.

 

Things that are show-stopping obstacles to compatibility:

 

* Religion

- I'm an athiest, and a scientist. I believe strongly that peoples' values should be ones that they've thought through for themselves, and that their decisions should be made rationally, not on the basis of what their faith suggests. If you consider yourself religious, we will probably not get along. If you consider yourself spiritual, we will probably also not get along. If you do any particular thing because your faith says you should, that's not a very good sign either.

 

* Abortion

- I believe that human rights should be extended to human fetuses and embryos. As a result, I'm strongly against abortion. If abortion is an option that you would consider for yourself, we are not compatible.

 

* Incompatible lifestyles

- I do not smoke or drink, and I don't enjoy clubbing or partying. If these are things that you would want to share with a significant other, then I am probably not the person for you.

- I am monogamous, and am looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with. If you're looking for a fling, or for a second partner, or are otherwise not looking for a long-term commitment, you should probably look for someone else.

 

* Different Preferences Regarding Kids

- I plan to have children, and to help raise the resulting family. This is important enough to me that if it's something you don't want, we aren't going to be compatible in a relationship.

 

That sums it up, more concisely than searching through 900+ questions would.

-LogicalCat

This post describes my usual schedule, the parts that I can adjust, and the parts that I'd have trouble altering. The goal is to make it easier to find a time to meet for tea or similar.

 

Most weeks have the following:

- Working from lunch time through early-to-late evening, M-F.

- Dojo on Tuesday evening (can be rescheduled), and Saturday after lunch (very difficult to reschedule).

 

Weekends have each of the following about twice a month (Saturday or Sunday):

- Visiting a local mad science/mad art club's workshop (easily rescheduled).

- Pen-and-paper RPG day out of town (very difficult to reschedule).

- Visiting a local boardgaming club (timing can be adjusted easily).

 

I welcome new opportunities to pursue hobbies, boardgame, or participate in pen-and-paper RPGs. The times that have worked best for this in the past are Friday evenings, Saturday evenings, or Sunday afternoons.

 

Times that I'm usually free:

- Saturday afternoon from about 4pm onward.

- Sunday from lunch time onwards.

Times that I can be available with a bit of shuffling:

- Tuesday evening (if I reschedule dojo).

- Other weekday evenings (if I leave work early)

- Weekdays at lunch time (but I'll have to leave for work immediately afterwards)

All in all, weekends work best for "let's meet over tea" interactions.

I already have a journal, so I've decided to treat this journal as a "supplementary information" section. First topic: What I'm trying to accomplish in life, and what I'd be looking for in any hypothetical romantic relationship (semi-related).

 

Life goals:

In life, there are three things that I need in order to be happy (as near as I can tell). If any one of these is missing over the long term, it causes me considerable heartache/distress/what-have-you:

* A circle of close friends/relatives that I get along with, that I hang out with to socialize, and who are there when I need them. (check, and this is one of the things I'm most thankful for)

* A career that's interesting, challenging, and fun. (check for the short term, uncertain for the long term, but I'm still on-track)

* A significant other whom I love, whom I can marry, have kids with, and share the rest of my life with. (not-so-check, but I have about 5-10 more years to find her)

These are in rough order of priority, though 2 and 3 tend to swap priorities when I'm in a relationship. For the most part, I'm happy, but I'm somewhat concerned about the future.

 

Romance, I'm a lot less sure of; I seem to be learning items on this list the hard way. That said, when Ms. Right and I find each other, she would almost certainly have to be:

* Someone I trust. (Among other things, this means getting to know each other _before_ any serious dating occurs.)

* Someone I respect. (Common sense, self-restraint, a sense of responsibility, and the ability to tell logical arguments from illogical ones are among the factors here.)

* Someone I find attractive. (This is a pretty large fraction of the population, but is still a constraint.)

* Someone I share at least a few common interests with. (Having nothing to talk about is a show-stopping problem; having geeky hobbies in common, on the other hand, is a bonding experience.)

* Someone I am compatible with. (No show-stopping conflicts of life goals, philosophical/religious/political outlook, or approach towards relationships/marriage/sex/kids.)

These criteria are vague. Partly this is because I don't know all of the details, and partly this is because for any more detailed guideline I can think of, I can think of exceptions.

 

Care and feeding of the LogicalCat, romance-wise:

* I fall in love easily when someone expresses interest in me. Worry about whether or not we're compatible, not whether or not I could fall in love with you.

- Corollary #1: I can fall in love with friends, if they send flirtatious signals (that I notice). This is actually easier than non-friends, because I'll already know and trust a friend. Yes, I am aware of the irony, thanks.

- Corollary #2: You do have to express interest in me. If you don't, my starting assumption is that you're not interested.

* Flirting-wise, I am Captain Clueless. If you are flirting with me, I literally won't notice, even if it's blatant. If you do something that's impossible to not notice, I still won't have any clue whether you're teasing, being playful, or seriously interested. You're going to have to spell it out for me.

- Corollary #1: I've probably been assuming you're just being friendly or teasing.

- Corollary #2: If you are not interested, and I seem to be expressing interest, say that you're not interested, outright. Avoid hedging. If anything, exaggerate ("I am not romantically interested in you, and will not ever be, sorry."). I am happy to be friends; just make any signals very clear.

- Corollary #3: If I seem to be flirting with you, it's entirely possible that this is by accident (though it's still possible that it's on purpose; I am human). Ask outright what my intentions are, and I'll answer outright.

* I am dedicated. I value love highly, so any relationship becomes a significant focus in my life. If you do decide to pursue a relationship with me, make sure you're serious about it first, because I certainly will be (which may be a good thing, depending on your goals/desires).

- Corollary: I'm looking for someone to spend the rest of my life with, not someone to play-flirt with or to have a fling with. Plan accordingly.

 

That about sums it up!