I work at an animal shelter and spend my day covered in all manner of bodily fluids. I come home to three quirky cats, a bad-ass rat (RIP Phyllis!), and an amazing and sexy husband, lordpipechair. I am an animal lover, an uncompromising leftist, and a fancier of educational media.

Tackling the Sisyphean tasks of animal sheltering and pet overpopulation. I attempt to stem the tide of unwanted animals and fund their care, using my charm, persuasiveness, passion for calm, reasoned dialogue, and unabashed willingness to spend twenty minutes convincing someone to give me the $0.17 stuck to the bottom of his cupholder.

Or, being a heartless bitch who will take your last dollar and murder your pet for kicks. I suppose it depends on whom you ask.

Handling fractious animals and people
Jeopardy!
The English language
Feminist analysis
Arguing (and winning)
Self-criticism
Consuming large amounts of food
Sleeping away my days off

Big bright happy chest tattoo, typically followed up with, "Did that hurt?!"

Or, fur-covered clothing and a disconcerting lack of eye contact.

Books: Non-fiction, particularly with a feminist, historical, or science-y bent. My New Year's resolution has been to read more fiction. It's nice to get lost in a narrative again!
Movies: Documentaries; also, things with talking animals
TV: Breaking Bad; The Office; Parks and Recreation; Community; The Daily Show; The Colbert Report; Criminal Minds; The X Files; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia; Law and Order: SVU; 24; Legend of the Seeker; anything featuring autopsies, true crime, horrifying and obscure diseases or congenital deformities, or prefaced by a warning stating "This program contains graphic material and may not be suitable for all viewers"
Music: Oldies are goodies! Your parents and I probably like the same music.
Food: I should have had a doting Bolognese grandmother to make me lots of delicious food. Alas, I do not, and must make up for this by spending copious amounts of money at Italian restaurants.

1. My husband
2. My animals
3. A job I'm passionate about
4. Paid vacation time from the job I'm passionate about
5. My glasses
6. Sleep. I really do need my eight hours.

Animal sheltering
Kyriarchy and privilege
Sex
Tattoo ideas
How broke I am

Sitting down for the first time in ten hours, eating for the first time all day, forcibly cuddling an unwilling cat or three

That I checked the "casual sex" box on an internet dating site

You're a chick who likes chicks
OR
You're a male weirdo with a "shirtless hunk" stock photo as your profile picture, who likes to spam any woman you find moderately attractive with enticements to watch you jack off on your webcam, then gets offended when she messes with you.