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28 Portland, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My details

Last online
Online now!
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Dropped out of university
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly), Ancient Greek (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am Thomas Charles Roeser.
I like all three of those names, just not in that order.

I used to weigh 400 pounds. I now weigh 220 pounds. I'm pretty proud of it.

I've spent most of my life in desperate search of things that hold my attention. It is difficult, and will continue to be so, but that's alright.

I'm a classic(see also:hopeless) romantic.

I have really started to hate cellphones. Nobody looks at anyone anymore.

I grew up in a very small redneck town, you know, like, in the woods. My inner hick is mostly suppressed. Mostly.

Not much of a drinker. If you see a beer in my hand I'm probably holding it so that people will stop trying to make me drink.

I deal poorly with absolutes. Shades of grey y'all, though not 50 of them, ever.

I am extremely competitive, I love winning, but I love competing more than anything.
Let's rumble, kid.(sportsmanship though)

I've concluded that life is all a giant joke, but it's become much less bitter and more legitimately funny to me, which feels like progress.

Is anyone else going to feel bad for sloths when they go out of style?

I'm a lot more cheerful than this profile may make me sound.

Didn't look at your photos.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I am a nerd at heart, but I hide it well.

I am pretty good at table tennis. At the competitive level I'm slightly above average and improving. To garage players or other people who don't really play(no offense), the stuff I can do will look fucking crazy.
No, I will not let you win, should you challenge me, but I won't be mean and smash every ball in your face either.

I can write pretty well, but I don't do much to cultivate it. I should.

I'm funny, resignedly eccentric, and empathetic.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My curly curly curls

I have a good smile and by some accounts nice eyebrows, which I didn't know was a thing.

I'm tall. But it's normal tall. Maybe if I had better posture. Gonna work on that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
On the Road
The Road (I really like roads)
The Malazan Book of the Fallen
Sherlock Holmes

I really love poetry, but rarely know how to find it myself, I can't search for a poem about...fields and seagulls or whatever.

I have a weakness for the occasional comic book, this used to be much worse.

Once Upon a Time in the West
North By Northwest
Doctor Who
Game of Thrones

Hip hop. Beastie boys all time favorite, currently loving everything kanyes been doing.
Classic rock. Because Clapton, man.
If it is good I will listen to it, country, death metal, jazz, good is good.

Pizza, but no anchovies.

And I mean no anchovies.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Gravel roads and ocean air
Nothing sounds quite like a EIGHT. OH. EIGHT.
Neil deGrasse Tyson, and good ol Bill Nye
Friends n family

Also 6 things I could allllways do without

Student loans
Workplace politics
Popped collars
Vacant smiles
BukowskiYEAH I SAID IT (Try Kafka, kids)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Christina Hendricks

Footwork and forehand. They suck. Getting there though.

White privilege, male privilege. It's pretty shitty.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Well I'd like to think I am, at least.

Realistically, playing in a tournament, then smoking and stream of consciousness writing, which I just interrupted to check myself on my own profile.

I really have learned to enjoy being by myself.
It's great!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've seen all of Sex and the City.

Like, all of it.

I thought I was going through some crazy shit until I listened to tig notaro's standup "live".
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Is the silence deafening, or comforting?

I don't know how I feel about dating anymore, at least online dating in particular. I think that with such a high volume of potential dates, expectations become unreasonably high. People seem to want all the answers right away, and the progression moves along too quickly.
Is the conversation good?
Is the kiss going to be good?
The sex?
It's easy to find a deal breaker when you know you can just get a different date tomorrow.
Slow down yall.

Let's see if we can accumulate like I dunno 12 hours of time hanging out a few times doing various things without annoying each other.

Also, if all of your pictures are high angle close ups, nahhh.