OkCupid is Free Online Dating.

**Edit: It crushes my spirit how OKC crops off the sides of my photos. Frownie face.**

Ok, so every year, Forrest, Rich and I rock out with spirit gum, latex prosthetics, and about a pound and a half of fake blood (some of it edible…num num!). We get all dolled up and prowl around Armory Square in Syracuse. We do this because a) We are zombie geeks b) We are attention whores.

(Seriously, between the three of us, this year we had our picture taken at least twenty times. And ask me to tell you the story about how Dave Mirra liked our costumes so much he bought us drinks.)


^ This is your brain (plus Kelly)


^ This is your brain on solanum.


^ I’d say something coy like, “It’s not what it looks like,” but that would be baloney.


^ It started with a relatively minor wound…


^ …But the situation quickly got much worse…


^ …So much worse that I needed a hat and glasses.


^ Rich was Crispy Zombie. He makes me want BBQ.


^ See? You can tell I’m just thinking, “Mm’m Dinosaur BBQ pulled pork BRAAAAAAINS!”


^ Despite what you may have heard or read, zombies still appreciate a nice rack.


^ Shit went bananas at the parking lot!


^ My favorite pic from the whole evening. Zombies may love brains, but we also love It’s Always Sunny.


^ Smiley zombies are…not zombies?


^ By the end of the night, my chesticles were mighty sticky from edible blood, meaning the night was a success!

So a few weekends ago, Ricardo (my roommate and best friend forever) and I celebrated the non-coldness of autumn with a paddle. We figured (rightly) that it’d be the last decent weekend of the season, so we had to take advantage of it. We launched in Fulton near Bab’s Cock Oil…err…Babcock’s Oil. Ahem.

It was a lovely day. I have proof!

**ETA: I am sad that OKC crops the right side of all my pictures. It gives me the weepies.


^ We traveled in a car.


^ Pure sexxx.


^ This is my BFF, Jill. He paddles, too! Apparently Photobucket will not allow him to be right side up. Tragic.


^ He just pops up all over the place.


^ Here I am attempting to look casual and adorable. I think it worked.


^ This is me braving the world’s deadliest rapids. Diesel, yes?


^ I like the symmetry-not-symmetry-symmetry of this. And take the C away from canal and what do you have? Maturity, that’s what.


^ This is just a shameless product placement. Oh man, I love my Keens. Best. Shoes. Evar.


^ Here is a superfluous picture of my new-ish purple highlights. I think they’re dandy.

1) Somewhere on my body is a tattoo of a naked chick
True. On my left upper thigh. She’s sexy.

2) I am deathly afraid of rats and mice
False. When I moved to Rochester, I didn’t have the time or finances to devote to a dog, so I adopted two fancy rats. I found them dead last Christmas and was devastated. Prior to this, we caught our former roommate’s sex puppet intimate female friend trying to feed them gummy bears. So we figure the dolt killed them with candy they couldn‘t digest. Those were my babies. I wanted to elbow her in the face.


3) I love pudding skin
True. Duh.

4) I totaled my car the first time I listened to Moxy Fruvous
True. It was 2001 and I had just graduated high school. Me and my non-romantic male life partner had just left Zebb’s in Mattydale and a light rain was starting to fall. We had been to Sound Garden earlier in the evening and purchased “Live Noise” at the insistence of some a cappella friends. We were just rocking out to “King of Spain” when I wrecked my 1999 Mercury Mystique. So sad, but aside from some bruises and burns from the airbags, we were both OK. My doggie-bag quesadillas were never recovered, which was the real tragedy.

5) I work out five times a week
True. I may be chubby, but I’m fit. I feel gross if I don’t exercise.

6) I have a “thing” for guys with popped collars
False. So very false. An open letter to anyone (male or female) who feels the need to pop their collar: You look like a douche banger. Yes. You are a giant taint muffin and you’re embarrassing yourself. You probably have a ball cap on, tilted to the side. I feel like shaking my finger at you as I would a naughty dog, chiding, “No. Bad!”

7) I was an RA (resident assistant) during my first stint at college
True x3. I was an RA for three years in the nicest building on campus. God, those were probably the best years of my life. I always had awesome residents and worked with amazing staff members. Having a free single room with a double bed was also pretty swiss. Fun side note: I was active in Student Government during my first four years (senator, club rep, and executive board parliamentarian), a member of the Rainbow Alliance, rocked out with Res. Hall Association, and MCed “The Vagina Monologues” for three years.

8) I spent my one night in Vegas tremendously inebriated
First time going to Maui, we had a layover in Vegas. We stayed at The Fremont in downtown, which I adored. I had one drink: a seven dollar lemon drop martini. I was so disappointed that it was poured into a cheap plastic cup that I gave up.

I have a blast with this blog - it's a different experience with a blog where most of your readers don't know you intimately. But I figure it can be fun to share little details about myself to my Dear Readers (all four of you).

Ever play that game "Two Truths and a Lie?" Well, this is like that, except five of these statements are true and three are absolute hooey. Can you tell fact from fiction?

1) Somewhere on my body is a tattoo of a naked chick
2) I am deathly afraid of rats and mice
3) I love pudding skin
4) I totaled my car the first time I listened to Moxy Fruvous
5) I work out five times a week
6) I have a “thing” for guys with popped collars
7) I was an RA (resident assistant) during my first stint at college
8) I spent my one night in Vegas tremendously inebriated

Discuss.

I got my ears lowered today.



I thought losing my locks would be semi-traumatic, but I'm ridiculously pleased with the result. I can't wait to go back in and throw in some chunky maroon highlights. Oh, man.

This post needs the obligatory blurry MySpace-ish shot, so here it is:

As I was commenting to someone earlier this week, I love the voyeurism and exhibitionism that this and other networking sites afford. I'm outstandingly self-indulgent and I occasionally come down with a raging case of bloggeritis. An entry is born!

Today I wanted to get a bit more interactive. Quiz time!

The following pictures are of the stickers I've got on my Cobalt. The first person to correctly identify the source/origin of the images on the stickers wins something. I haven't decided what yet, but it'll be something wonderful like a plate of cookies or a Dollar Tree grab bag.





Bonus points go to people who don't find a way to look up my student parking ID and stalk me!

Have at it, gentlemen!

So I've moved back to CNY. This is a good thing. I'm living in B'ville with Rich and Ryan, as Baldwinsville is a slightly shorter commute to Cortland than, say, Buffalo.

The apartment has two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and a cat. It's swanky. The room I'm in used to be the boys' office, so I am fortified with my laptop AND a fancy iMac that confuses and delights me. I've got miles and miles of shelf space. If I were a bug, it would be as if I were sitting on a rug; I'm THAT happy.

I'm nearer to the pay-rents, too. This means The Semi-Regular Dinner of Much Togetherness and Occasional Spat. So. Dinner, laundry, and a running commentary on the life of one retired Polock and a tiny silver-haired substitute teacher. I love it.

Being back in the area lends itself to the occasional awkward situation, however: running into people I knew a million years ago, but have no interest in spending time with presently. It hasn't happened yet, but I'm sure it will. And then the profile here...ugh. It's bound to get weird.

Commuting the 50 minutes to Cortland is quite the experience, though. I'm a good, competent driver and I feel safe in my Cobalt, but I still grind my teeth/clench my jaw when I drive on wonky highways. Ouch. But! The free time with the radio allows me to nerd out with some beloved NPR. (Rochester's NPR is all kinds of weird and doesn't get a fraction of the programming that CNY does, so I really missed it!)

I have a lesbian cougar crush on Diane Rehm. Oh man, I would scissor the crap out of her.

I do miss the manfriend, though. His work/school schedule allows us to spend weekends together, so that's groovy.

So Rich and his dad invited me on their annual kayak man-trip to Stillwater. The reservoir itself is located in the West Adirondacks, and the surrounding campsites are accessible only by boat. The sites are free and on a first come, first served basis. Neato.

Rich had mentioned (probably repeatedly) that I would be the only chick in a sea of dudes. I (probably repeatedly) ignored this and was subsequently shocked when I paddled into SausageFest '08. Seriously. Like, 20 college-age white dudes. They were pretty much drunk the whole time, but they were good guys and they kept me entertained.

Anyway. We had a good site - only a ten-minute paddle from the launch and the site encompassed an entire island.

Fun times include watching everyone around me tinkle with a mere turn of their hips, while I had to wander to the western end of the island to do my lady business. I also managed to sustain a gnarly bruise while scrambling awkwardly out of my kayak...and wedging my leg squarely between two submerged rocks.



I think it's lovely.

This weekend, Forrest, Rich, his dad, and I are heading up to Kring's Point in the Thousand Island region for several nights of camping that is more my style - flush toilets and fewer weiners. I'm way excited to paddle the area.

Shortly after that, I am relocating to B'ville. This shortens my commute to Snortland to a mere 40 minutes. I have, however, learned that my Cobalt can get over 45 MPG when I travel between 60 and 65 MPH. Roxorz.

So the significant other has returned from overseas with a million stories to tell and a piece from the set of 'Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit. He met Luis Cook and a million other ridiculously talented animators. He visited a few Aardman locations and CodSteaks, where a lot of stop motion puppets/models are created. I write about this because I am content to live vicariously through my semi-ginger boyfriend.

You don't get to visit animation studios when you're a sociology student. Lame.

His flights back were all wonky due to "thunderstorms" (read: partially cloudy skies) in Rochester. Being impetuous and a fan of a good road trip, I decided on the fly to drive to New Jersey and pick him up.

Well. First I had to stop in Syracuse to collect Rich, the BFF so I wasn't making the trip down alone. You know you have a best friend in someone when they will leave home at midnight to drive on Deer Alley (some call it Route 81) to fetch someone else's boyfriend. I am his hag.

So that was interesting.

This weekend I'm back in B'ville for the two (count 'em: TWO) bridal showers of Maui resident and girl friend who is not a girlfriend, Kelly. Her husband-to-be, Dustin, is still island-bound, so she's doing all sorts of wedding prep without the aid/burden of her fiance.

Their wedding is early January of 2009 and I'm moist with excitement. Because I knew Dustin for a few years before Kelly, I will be on his "side" of the wedding party, along with Rich and SeanO. (The four of us were pretty much inseparable for a few years in our late-teens.) Kelly's brother and two female friends will be on her "side." I love it when people do progressive and offbeat things with their weddings.

It's so refreshing to have Kelly back in town for a few weeks. It is such a relief to have a strong female figure around to inspire me. Plus, I can't talk about menstrual cups, girly hair stuff, clothes and weird boobness with the boyfriend or the gay manfriend.

...Ok, so admittedly, I unload all sorts of WOMANLY WEIRDNESS on both, but it's nice to have someone who has a vagina and knows where I'm coming from.

The boy, Kelly, Rich and I went to the drive-in last night and it was absolutely delightful. We try to go a few times every summer and I always have a great time, even if the film being shown is total garbage (coughsexandthecitycough).

I have bangs nows. They look cute and vintage/retro/pseudo-rockabilly. I need new glasses soon, anyhow, so I am inspired to get a pair that is cat's eye/horned rimmed/sexy librarian.

I am abusing the backslash now. Time to go.

So, the wife is gone.

Allow me to specify.

Forrest has left for Bristol, England, where he'll be until mid-June. I've got a wicked case of jealousy, too - he gets to visit several animation studios, including Aardman. Yes, he's meeting the folks who have given us the Wallace and Gromit films.

One of his professors from RIT has worked with Aardman in the past (he's done some 'Creature Comforts' shorts), so the group he's traveling with has an inside operative. Tres swanky.

I dropped my better half off at the Rochester airport this afternoon and I got the weepies. Boo hoo.

Now I'm done feeling sorry for myself and am determined to engage in the following: shenanigans, debauchery, and general acts of mischief. Bring rum.