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31 • Astoria, NY • Man
I’m looking for
- Ages 26–34
- Near me
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
- Last online
- Today – 8:03pm
- 5' 8" (1.73m)
- Body Type
- Not at all
- Doesn’t want kids
By day, I am a records coordinator at a law firm. By night, I am an aspiring comedian and writer.
So I've got that going for me.
Here is a semi-recent exchange I had with a kind elderly woman who works at the DMV.
DMV Lady: Can I have your old license please?
*I had her my old license*
DMV Lady: Luke, you've lost weight.
Me: I HAVE lost weight!
DMV Lady: How'd you do it?
Me: Just counting calories, that is the magic solution.
DMV Lady: Amen, sister!
*I laugh way too loud for a public space. She takes my new picture.*
DMV Lady: Sign right here for your old license.
*I begin signing the list.*
DMV Lady: And you're smart; you're left-handed.
Me: I AM SMART!
DMV Lady: I bet ladies are just lining up for you.
Moral: I remind old ladies of their grandsons.
*Even further update*
In the past year, 12 different people, mostly strangers who did not know each other, have told me that I look like Matt Damon. I feel like I am on some kind of elaborate Truman Show hoax. Regardless, I am starting to think that I actually AM Matt Damon.
I've read far more science fiction novels and far too few "classics" that I would like to admit. I also love readings about film history/critique and comedy.
I love tacos and heavy metal.
Family and friends
Pen and paper
Heavy Metal, all kinds
I think about end of the world scenarios far too often. I have a recurring dream where World War III is just about to happen and the first bomb sent over from whatever country it is that hates us at that particular moment lands right on my head. Outside of the paranoia of global destruction, I find it incredibly conceited that I would be at the center of the end of the world. I promise I am not nearly that self-absorbed in real life.
Since I've moved to New York, here are a lot of thoughts that have been coming into my brain: what the hell am I doing...am I deluded enough to think I can succeed here...this city is overwhelming, there is almost too much to see and do...will I ever see a Mole Person...how can I make a joke/sketch out of this...oh look, that person is peeing out of doors...where's the closest place for me to buy candy...despite all this insanity, gosh darn it, it is great to be alive.
Heavy metal, all kinds.
I find this online dating thing equal parts frustrating and nerve-wracking. I am also not comfortable with trying to "sell myself" as a suitable date/boyfriend. I am also more likely to rate a profile highly than send a message, due to timidness.
And that leads to this: I am a very independent person. For the longest time, I did not seek out relationships with women, partially because I lacked the self-confidence necessary for such a venture, but also because I did not want to define myself by who I was with. I am driven by my own desires and goals and that can often come off as aloofness or selfishness or whatever. I'm not against sharing my life with someone. I think it is something I would like and be good at. But I can get obsessed with a task, a hobby, or a goal and that will often blind me to some things that are key in making a relationship work. I think the best person for me would be someone who is equally independent and passionate about their own life and would like a companion with whom they can sometimes share their emotions, triumphs, and failures.
So yea, so much for selling myself.
If you like to laugh and be silly all the time, I'm pretty awesome to be around.
Also, if you hate this website as much as I do, we should begin plotting its demise.
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