"Who would want to be sad?"
"It's like happy but for deep people"
A dear friend once described me as a "walking awkward pause". I'm perfectly aware that I lead a life of contradiction. Horrible things have happened to me and for some strange reason not only am I still happy with life I'm glad those things happened. I've always been a person who loves things too much and only recently have I come to appreciate that fact about myself. I like the things I like but I love everything. Maybe I see the world through rose-colored glasses but in my eyes even misery can be lovable. I'm in love with life and it will not change.
"Turns out I've had the most terrible things happen. And the most brilliant things. And sometimes, well, I can't tell the difference. They're all the same thing. They're... they're just me"
Aside from that first paragraph many things about me have changed since I began this profile. To start, my father died very suddenly the summer of 2010. I appreciate the condolences that people are inclined to offer but I honestly handled it very well. I took my father's death so well it was scary.
I have an ability to simply accept things for what they are and move on. I get that from my dad.
I have my moments of anxiety (that comes from my mother). I may not always seem stable but I am amazingly self aware.
My mother tried desperately to raise me as a Catholic but my father's philosophy and my innate fascination with Native American culture drew me closer to Shamanism.
I am everything and nothing at all. I find moments of beauty in all religions. I live by many different philosophies.
Here's a story for you:
When I was about 6-years-old I was learning how to swim. I couldn't quite get the hang of it. One day My father left the poolside to answer the phone and as soon as he was out of my sight the float I was sitting in tipped over. So there I was, 6-years-old and trapped in the center of a pool with no one around to help me. I couldn't touch the bottom and I could not reach the float nor the sides of the pool. At that moment I learned how to swim. I managed to keep my tiny head above water long enough for my father to return (which was, in reality, less than a minute). At a meager age I faced the chance of my own death. Sink or Swim and I swam. My father often said that it was that day that showed him the very person I would be.
I am ambitious, loving, and completely strange
I do not like to shop.
I do not care about who makes my clothes and I will wear things until they fall to pieces.
I only really buy shoes as I need them.
I do not ever wear makeup outside of being on stage. I don't like it. I have nothing against women who wear it. It's not a "feminist thing." It's just not my bag.
I can only promise one thing if you decide to message me. I will most likely be nothing like what you were expecting.
"When you're a kid, they tell you it's all... grow up. Get a job. Get married. Get a house. Have a kid, and that's it. But the truth is, the world is so much stranger than that. It's so much darker. And so much madder. And so much better. "