I have a B.A. in English/Film and I love to write. But when it comes time to craft the online me, I feel the strong urge to draw outside the lines.
I'd rather just write like I talk.
And if you and I should happen to talk for real, I'm happy to do all the top tens you can think of. Maybe a cartwheel.
I also have a long long list of hobbies, experiences, desires, and the like. Have a free sample; one of each. I play the bass guitar, I've lived in Italy, and I'd love to one day own a house where I could fall asleep to the sound of the waves crashing every night.
I've lived on both coasts most of my life, so I start to lose it a little bit here in the land of the landlocked.
Anyways, I need to go on a little (which sounds Seinfeld-y) tangent for a moment.
I don't really understand the personality breakdown it comes up with. The program seems to make a decision fast and stick with it, no matter if it makes sense. For one, apparently, the computer decided I was the King of Cool. Nonsense. I'm just an Earl of Cool.
But really, WTF is cool anyways? I certainly don't follow all the latest fashions and trends. Further, what's cool to me, could be the lamest shit to you.
I thought cool was subjective, but hey, we can rejoice; OKCupid has cracked the formula for "What is cool?". I guess I should celebrate. At long last, I finally have all the cool points. Recognize.
Secondly, the Cupid matrix has also decided I am some sort of kinky sex lord. I mean I know what to do in the dark and I'm good with my hands but this is too much.
I've barely filled out 20 questions so far and done 3 tests. I haven't even entered this ridiculous late night diatribe into the system. So all that remains to tip the personality scales is my screen name. Is that it?
Maybe I need to change it. Maybe I should have thought that one through better. Those damn things are annoying to come up with on the spot though. I meant the name to convey my passion for life. Looks like it just makes me sound horny.
Moving on, lets look at what it says I'm not. O.K. O.K., I can admit I might be below the median when it comes to pureness, but come on. I guess pureness is the kryptonite to cool, according to the whirling mad mathematics of the machine. But I really must protest to being seated on the pureness short bus.
And, when it comes to compassion, they got it all wrong. I'm a marshmallow, (side note: Just turned 35 and up until 1 minute ago I thought it was spelled marshmellow. My whole life spelling it wrong. [additional side note: I love tangents]) a total softie.
I'm a ridiculously easy touch when it comes to emotions. I tell my best friends I love them, and they know I've always got their back. (serious side note: I am fiercely loyal to those closest to me and I expect the same) I cry at the movies all the dang time. I'm taking care of an injured squirrel, teaching him how to walk without his back paw. I've never stepped on an ant, not even one. I kid.
So, I hope you've got a sense for my sense of humor now. It's important that this made you laugh. I like to laugh. It's the best fucking medicine I know, that is, besides incredibly good sex of course. Again, I kid I kid....
Take care and as Bob Barker used to say, "Have your pets spayed and neutered".
Seriously, it's important.