Let's not waste time. If you're not okay with seeing someone in an open relationship then you shouldn't read any further in pursuit of romance and sex.
Other pursuits are still an option though
The world is glorious in both its wonder and absurdity. As much as our contemporary neo-Enlightenment philosophies tend to vilify the human wrought world as "unnatural" and "unhealthy" Nature certainly doesn't have a monopoly on the sublime any more than we have one on the ridiculous.
I'm sure there is nothing like a God, but I'm also equally sure it has a stupendous sense of humor.
The shiny thing the camera is pointed at is, inevitably, quite boring. What lies in the periphery and beyond is less so, but will always disappoint with its insistence on the importance of the center of the frame. It is this tension that gives rise to all meaning, between the emptiness of the subject and the subjugation of any context to that emptiness.
The importance of the above cannot be overstated. Yes, philosophy is gobbledygook, but it is the gobbledygook we must wade through to arrive at the correct question. Philosophy cannot answer that, or any, question, only offer them for perusal.
None of this means you need to read philosophy, or even have heard of any of the philosophers I adore. What it does mean is that you need to have not found a little ledge and convinced yourself it's the world far and wide. Even better if you're falling down the rabbit hole and content with the notion that there really is no bottom.
Otherwise, trying and succeeding at getting my life back on track after a year long commitment that consumed everything I had and more.
Trying to write again after that year long break.
Applying to schools and looking for a better job.
Reading real books again. The ones that kick me in the balls and make me ask for another.
Learning over and over the value of being able to throw away something I created and once thought was brilliant and perfect.
Making sound effects when I drive, walk, or generally move at all.
After that it's nothing but good surprises.
I love Podcasts; the ones you might expect based on my profile. I clap like seal being tossed a fish when a new episode of RadioLab shows up.
Yes, I spend some of my time watching movies and TV, and listening to music, and what I'm into surprises some, but not most.
I'm an omnivore and not exactly morally righteous about it, but I don't have a huge amount of respect for fad diets like paleo-anything, gluten-phobs, fruitarians, and the like. Yes I mostly eat organic, try and eat local, but mostly in concentrate on real, actual food, with some fluff thrown in now and then. I find most fad diets to be treating the symptoms of our fucked up food system rather than the root, but if you think you can convince me otherwise than please do. I'd rather date someone I fight with about food and who can change my mind than someone who has never thought more deeply about their food than the bottom of the Dorito bag.
In that light I need the outside to be more than a place between insides.
I need my ontic horizon to heave and thrash occasionally.
Friends who love enough to be uncivil.
Fun that doesn't exactly feel fun at the time.
I don't really waste my time counting things that don't need to be counted.
How strange it is that the right person can make being seem necessary and inevitable. Whether for five minutes or five years.
The importance of the authentic act.
How the incidental and the inevitable are really the same thing seen from different sides of the mirror.
On a night off I can be out with friends, at a coffee shop writing or coding, reading at bar or having an equally pretentious conversation at a bar.
Even better if it's something else entirely.
I think Oxford comma should only be let out of the cellar when absolutely necessary, kept on a tight leash, and then shoved back down into the dark as soon as possible. Using them all the time is lazy grammar; I want my grammar to be able to bite me in the ass with unintended meanings.
You understand the importance of being objectified in the right way at the right time.
You don't think being a cynic or an optimist does justice to what humans are capable of, both evil and good.
You are okay with non-monogamy.
I'm not part of any scene, I'm not going to try and get you to have a threesome with one of the other women I'm seeing, you're not going to have to come to any poly social events, but you need to be okay with romantic relationships that are different then "one and one only till death do us part…" (Although if you are part of a scene and want me to come to any sort of social event, I'm perfectly happy to tag along).
I'm safe. I'm careful, and I expect the same from the women I see. Yes, sex is great, but I'm unlikely to see someone for very long if you can't tickle parts of me that aren't simple stimulus-response mechanisms. I want feedback loops and inference. I want play and ambiguity. I want your the words that spin off your tongue to be just as, if not more, sexy than the tongue that riled them into the world.
I'm not here to find someone I will be buried next to. I'm also not here to find someone I can sleep with once and then have two awkward text exchanges with and not talk to again. I'm just here because there are an abundance of gorgeous and interesting people out there, and some small percentage of those knocking around these little walls, tapping, listening.
You agree that "casual sex" is simply sex outside of a committed relationship. I'm not here looking for it, but I'm also not going to run away from it.