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27 Coventry, UK Man, Cis Man

Man, Cis Man

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-34
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 10:40am
Straight, Sapiosexual
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Special Diet
Not at all
Atheism and it’s important
Doesn’t have kids and doesn’t want them
English (Fluently), Dutch (Fluently), German (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm curious, like cuddles, and am occasionally found in trees.

Technically my main language is Dutch, but I usually prefer English.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I finished a master's degree in Nanotechnology in 2014, I have a company trading Bitcoins, I volunteered full-time with the Center For Applied Rationality in California for three months, then went back to the Netherlands — briefly, until I met someone in Germany and basically ended up moving in with her after a week. Now we moved here to Coventry, with her doing a PhD and me working on a Nootropics startup with some friends. Random things happen \o/
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Figuring out how things work. I like taking apart things to see how they work, and then putting them back together; I can usually fix whatever is broken about it.

I guess I like finding the reasons and patterns in everything that's going on around me. Lately I have been thinking a lot about how relationships work, for example, what are the minimal things necessary for two people to form a relationship in the first place, or why exactly is dating a guy different from dating a girl for straight people? I think I'm actually making some headway in this, but this post is too small to contain it :)

Climbing. Climbing is fun, be it in trees, up climbing walls, or a form of Urban Exploration that gets you places no-one usually goes. When walking around I have the inclination to jump over things or see if I can scale walls. I've been bouldering a lot recently, which is climbing on a low wall up to 4 meter without any rope, but with thick mats underneath.
I like Slacklining too, but it's nicer in summer outside :)

Hugs, apparently! I've been told that I give the best hugs :) Personally I don't think I do anything other than give sincere hugs, but perhaps that's not common? I like hugs a lot though, so I'd be happy to have you be the judge for yourself!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I don't worry about seeming odd, so if I get noticed it's likely because of doing something odd, like climbing trees, wearing Vibram toe-shoes (they're snug :)), or walking around with a huge fuzzy blanket (they're also snug!).

I actually just asked a friend:
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

Most of Greg Egan's books, Harry Potter (or actually I prefer HPMOR), Thinking Fast and Slow, Gödel, Escher, Bach (although I still haven't finished it), Worm, Pact, probably more!

Other text:
I used to read Lesswrong, but haven't in a while. Slate Star Codex remains awesome. I like the ideas in Mr. Money Mustache but don't follow his blog actively.


xkcd, Gunnerkrigg Court, Girl Genius, Oglaf. Many more, actually, I have too many of them in my RSS feed :)

Games with interesting gameplay dynamics:

Gish: Ever played a blob of tar? You should! Jumping by squishing yourself on the ground, then rigidifying your blob when it's at its most squished state is awesome.

Shift: Are you stuck? Invert the ceilings with the free space, and carry on!

Bastet: Replay value doesn't last very long, but having a tetris clone that always gives you the worst block in your particular situation is some pretty cool programming. It's fun to let unsuspecting people try to figure out why they can't get more than 4 rows before they fill up their screen :)

The list goes on... Bloxorz, Ragdoll masters, Liquid wars, Bontãgo, Echochrome, etc etc. If you know of a cool game, let me know! I like trying new ones.

Moving pictures:

Serenity and Firefly, the Matrix, Doctor Who, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, How to train your dragon, Frozen, The Princess Bride, The Martian, probably more as well. I don't like horror, drama, pure romance. I do like action, superhero, fantasy, sci-fi.


I'm not too well-versed in different genres, but I think I like Drum & Bass, Electronic, more relaxed versions of Dubstep or Trance with female vocals.
I also tend to like any songs I already know, so if you want me to like something you should play it for me a bunch of times.

I don't like Dutch folk songs, hardcore, most rap, and metal that doesn't have melody.

Quietness can be awesome, by the way. Being outside before dawn, with no humans around…

Mealsquares! They're not vegan (yet) though…
I did a DIY version of Soylent for a while, that was an interesting experiment. Worked quite well actually.
I like good vegan food, but I usually don't care too much about making or eating fancy food, which is why the DIY Soylent worked well. I can cook fine if necessary though.

Forms of interaction:
Cuddles, definitely. Hugs are good too, but they're like short cuddles.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Hmm, difficult. I can see myself adjusting to many different scenarios. I guess the very core of me is thinking stuff through, trying to figure things out. I probably wouldn't be me anymore if I had to do without logical thinking. (I've actually read a bit about a girl who lost a part of the left hemisphere of her brain. The other side took over the lost functions, and she stopped her studies and pursued an art career. Humans are weird :D)

Life without other people would suck as well. I try to be very independent, to be able to function despite what happens, but I've recently found that being close to people is a pretty strong drive in me. And also that not being close to anyone makes me feel alone and unmotivated. It's one of the reasons I'll likely emigrate to the US: I have very good friends in California, and feel supported and connected there.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.

Besides trying to figure out everything, I also try to understand why everyone does the things they do. I have a part of my brain that is constantly on the lookout for plausible reasons that people take their actions; I think that basically everyone has reasons and causes for what they do, and that I can't actually judge them for anything they do. If something seems crazy or bad to me, I probably don't understand it fully yet.

This sounds pretty abstract, but it seems to be easy for people to open up to me, to feel secure with me. I'm pretty happy with that, it's somewhat of a confirmation to myself that I actually seem to be non-judgmental, and I'm not just deluding myself.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?

I like hanging out with people I know. Even when traveling, I usually travel to countries where I know someone, instead of to see the sights.

Last Friday night I was watching a movie with a friend that's staying over. Next Friday night, perhaps I'm chatting on OkCupid :)

What's the most private thing you're willing to admit

I used to find it very difficult to admit my negative emotions, even to myself. I would avoid people if I was feeling bad, and I would try to ignore it if I was feeling anxious or sad. I've made a lot of progress on that recently, and I feel I can be much more the real me now. Feel free to ask me personal questions, I'd be happy to answer; both as practice, but also because it creates a connection.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You should message me if you have some interesting remarks or tidbits of knowledge to share, if you saw a spelling/grammar mistake or other point of improvement, if we have a high match factor, if we have a phenomenally low match factor, or for any reason, really. You can even message me if you can't think of a reason to message me.

I'll respond to all messages I get. Your message doesn't even need to contain a whole lot; starting a conversation is difficult enough by itself :P Also, if you think the guy should initiate the first message, not the girl, then you should send me a message saying that, and I'll send you a message to initiate a conversation :)