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Machete_Western

26 M Austin, TX

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–73
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:24am
Orientation
Bisexual
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 6″ (1.98m)
Body Type
Used up
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Often
Religion
Other, and very serious about it
Sign
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Science / Engineering
Income
$250,000–$500,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Speaks
English (Poorly), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I will to turn your brains into wulfpussy.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Im a televangelist from outer-space. Im a time traveling sex demon. I keep myself pretty busy.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
stealing your horse, setting your wife on fire.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
opposable genitals
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Zardoz, John Waters, Alejandro Jodorowsky

The Cramps
Shannon and the Clams
Guantanamo Baywatch
The Growlers
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Turquoise jewelry
Cocaine
Bob Ross
Spring reverb
Fun shaped novelty strap-ons
Anal tongue punching
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
goblins.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Dipping my fists in glue, and then into a barrel of angry possums. Then I go fist fight packs of stray dogs.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
polyester gets me rock hard.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You wear a lot of black clothing
You're a cheeky oblong goblin