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31 Alexandria, VA Woman


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 5:14pm
Pansexual, Bisexual, Sapiosexual
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from space camp
Rather not say
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Has dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
***I just kind of ignored OkCupid for a long time there, sorry about that. Pet died, got food poisoning, job change, local move on the horizon, dating lots... all the excuses. I'm going to try to catch up, but it takes me a long time and I often go days between bouts of productive responding. Avoid butt-hurtedness.***

Let me save you some time: I'm married and we're in a happy, healthy polyamorous relationship. We both have other partners, but everyone knows each other and we all spend time together so everyone has to get along. If that's not something you can gel with, no hard feelings but this isn't the right profile for you.

NOW, I encourage you to set the mood with the music style of your choice:
Thoughtful and provoking:
Fun and fanciful:
Flirty and ridiculous:
Fucking badass:
Music from a band I'll always be more in love with than you:

I've recently dated someone who was trying the polyamorous lifestyle on for size, and honestly, it's just too hard on the head and heart to simultaneously fall for someone while helping them realize that the lifestyle isn't one that works for them. So if you're already experienced with responsible non-monogamy, I heartily encourage you to race to the front of the line. I'm not interested in re-activating the slutty days of my youth, however, so please be interested in some kind of more-than-sexual connection to me. Bonus points if you're romantic and help me re-engage with the poet buried under years of being an adult working human in America. Negative points if you say "LOL" at any time or misuse the appropriate versions of your/you're or there/their/they're. PS: THIS:

I'd like to make the Star Wars joke that this is not the unicorn you're looking for, but I just might be. It depends. I might be the unicorn you're looking for IF:
• You're looking for more than just sex
• You are open and honest about your lifestyle with friends and loved ones, so I wouldn't be a secret to anyone ever.
• You're really awesome unicorn hunters

Okay... summing up the personality is a bit more of a challenge. The two hemispheres of my brain are in a battle for domination worthy of Newton's Law of Motion. I am logical, straightforward and direct, honest, analytical, critical and sarcastic. Equally and oppositely I am emotional, compassionate, artistic, curious and in constant awe and wonder of the universe. It's like having a boy's brain and a girl's heart, for lack of a better description. Of course, all of us progressive humans acknowledge that the way I just described my duality is using a gross stereotype of men and women. I celebrate the rainbow of genders, but it's also decent shorthand for the hoi polloi.

My favorite magazines are Scientific American and People. I love art and theatre and poetry as much as video games and vegging. I wish I traveled more. I like social activities as much as solitary ones and need time for both. I was positive I was an extrovert from birth until about 28 and in the last few years I've realized that I was just overcompensating. I'm an introvert. I need down time to recharge and one on one time with my partners often enough to feel a good, strong connection. I like to go to bed early, unless there's something really cool to do and I don't have to get up too early the next morning. I used be a regular burner of the midnight oil, but I've found that if I give my body the amount of sleep it truly wants, I am a much more joyful soul.

I handle pressured situations well and would thrive in the Zombiepocalypse. There's a part of my brain that just takes over, shouts orders and gets shit done. On the other hand, I am a wimp when it comes to emotional confrontation. I am such an over-communicator and will always bring the issues necessary to my loved ones, but I do so with anxiety. I often will write out what I need to say and THEN have the face to face conversation. This is a strategy I learned from my mother, who had difficulty talking to me about serious subjects and would write me letters instead. I'm not a fan of "sweeping things under the rug" however, and when I sense something is wrong in me or in a partner, I make sure that we deal with it together to some sort of resolution. Just sometimes that starts with a letter or email. Because I'm a baby.

All of the various pictures of me on here show wildly different hairstyles. My hair grows REALLY fast and I often just tell the stylist to do whatever they'd like. My current hairstyle could reflect any one of those photos, so let's hope you're flexible on hair.

I'm in the process of covering half of my back in a very extravagant and geeky tattoo. So.... if the used canvas look isn't something that appeals to you, your loss. Geeky stuff is the best stuff. And tattoos are rad.

I like to dress girly from time to time, but in general I wear comfortable clothes, sarcastic t-shirts and no makeup. If you like your lady plain, you're looking in the right place.

Some of my favorite things:
• Deep philosophical conversations for which there are no right answer(s)
• Psychology, sociology, sexuality and the things that make humans do the things that they do
• Violent weather
• Christmas
• Comfortable beds
• Writing and/or poetry that stops your heart
• Scary movies (psychological thriller types, not torture porn)
• Games of all types (board, card, video, role-playing, you name it)
• Peppermint chocolate
• Powerful lyricism and moving crescendos
• Animals and babies (yup, I'm a cliché)
• Fallout 3
• Really sweet clementines
• Sexting
• Being danced, dance me
• The ocean before the sun comes up
• The ocean every other time of day
• The word "cunt"
• Being surprised

TL;DR: I am a lot of things. If it was too long, we're probably not a match. Praise be verbosity!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've done a lot of different things by day.

I used to be in the Army, which was a shocker to everyone (including myself!) as a little, artistic, non-conformist, anti-violence chick like me doesn't seem the Army type. There were a lot of things I ended up liking about it but I got in trouble for asking "why" too often or refusing to do things I felt ethically opposed to.

I used to spend my days engaged in various performance arts. Acting, dancing, singing, magic, stand-up comedy... there's not much performance-wise that I haven't at least dabbled in.

I just recently listened to my soul's desire to take a break from real life. I quit my job and spent a month in Washington state visiting with my family. I'm just barely back from that trip and deciding what the next step is. Probably a part-time job. My husband lives in Reston in our house and I have an apartment in Alexandria (we discovered we're better when we don't live under the same roof; I like the space) with my dog, three ferrets and too many hamsters.

I plan on taking some time off (CHECK, see above), re-engaging with myself and getting back into touch with the things that used to drive me with passion. I'm going to take some classes this fall and will do so with no educational "goal" in mind beyond learning about things I'm interested in. Philosophy, art, theatre, sociology, bio-ethics, writing, criminology, Spanish... just whatever floats my boat. Eventually I would like to start my own business. I've had several different ideas of what this would be, but recently I've felt pretty strongly about it being a game store. Not a lot of money in it, but money isn't really what I'm after. Aside from that, I'd like to spend more time reading, writing, painting, drawing and re-establishing my more creative and expressive self.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
• making PowerPoint presentations that don't suck
• making people laugh
• making people laugh uncomfortably
• finding ways to enjoy just about anything
• planning for the zombiepocalypse
• learning/picking up things quickly
• saving random animals
• helping others hit the re-set button on their lives
• document and form creation
• witty comebacks
• safe sexing
• beating a dead horse when trying to explain something perfectly
• forcing the truth from my loved ones in a kind and caring way
• loving people for who they are and not for who I might wish them to be
• watching movies
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Is my strange sense of humor. Also, my confidence. I've been told more than once "you know when I first met you I was really intimidated by you, but I'm glad I got to know you because you're not scary at all".

I recently asked some friends of mine to describe me in two sentences or less (for a different project that may or may not come to fruition). Results were more flattering than I was going for, but others in my life may find me:

• "Hilariously awesomely badassedly sexily cool as shit. And you smell nice."
• "Short, like squirrel. Crazy, like moose. (said in best Borris accent)"
• "Short."
• "Fucking awesome."
• "A fun-loving, adventurous soul with the heart of a lion. You also give great hugs."
• "She's a funky spirit with a great rack that draws attention to her expressive heart. And she digs your mom."
• "A truly remarkable human."
• "Cassandra makes a zipper shirt happy. She also dances a mean polka."
• "Friend, you are a diamond, so many angles and perspectives to be seen from, something fun to be learned as one gets to know you!"
• "You have a warm, loyal heart. You have spunk and talent. You enjoy giving and receiving a good challenge, but you're always generous and kind about it. You're a talented illustrator. You admire talent in others. You're supportive. You put thought and effort into living well. You strive to be honest with yourself and others."

Someday I might even earn these compliments. The aforementioned project that originally called for these offerings might also eventually get done, but only if my friends start listing my less-than-desirable qualities as well. Such as:

• Prefers time at home to parties
• Critical
• Blunt
• Sarcastic
• Confrontational
• Isn't afraid to embarrass you in public
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
"Even Cowgirls Get The Blues" Tom Robbins
"The Complete Works" e.e. cummings
"Geek Love" Katherine Dunn
"Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers" Mary Roach
"Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex" Mary Roach
"Fahrenheit 451" Ray Bradbury
"Different Dances" Shel Silverstein
"The Perks of Being a Wallflower" Stephen Chbosky
"The Invisible Gorilla and Other Ways Our Intuition Deceives Us" Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons

The Princess Bride
The Labyrinth
Galaxy Quest
28 Days Later
Across The Universe
Back to the Future
The Brothers Solomon
Dirty Dancing
The Fifth Element
The Game
The Imposters
Kill Bill
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
Stage Beauty
Stranger Than Fiction

Star Trek: TNG
Modern Family
Doctor Who
The Walking Dead
The United States of Tara
So You Think You Can Dance
Quantum Leap
The X-Files
American Horror Story

The Beatles
Joni Mitchell
Michael Jackson
Regina Spektor
Cristina Branco
Eva Cassidy
Muddy Waters
Kate Nash
Justin Timberlake
Walk Off The Earth
Scott Barkan
Brenda Weiler

Fallout 3
Fallout: New Vegas
Little BigPlanet
Space Channel 5
Mass Effect 2
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1) Pictures of people I love
2) My cellphone (although I turn it off for vacations, I use it a lot during my regular day to day)
3) Books and/or a pen & paper
4) Chapstick
5) Humor
6) Music
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Everything. How things work. What people are thinking. What I want to do. Movies or books I like. What else to do to my house to make it more organized. Budgeting. Places I wish I was visiting. My family. The Zombiepocalypse. Things I find funny. Sociology. Sex. Criminal Psychology. Food. Games. My pets. Writing I wish I was doing. Hot baths.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
My Fridays are amazing other than the fact that I have to get up an hour earlier for work and am therefore spending the first half of the day yawning. I get off around 4 and then rush over to my friend's house where we watch Buck Rogers and eat delicious foods. Then the rest of the evening is flexible. Sometimes I stay there and we play games or watch movies. Other times I come home and have a quiet evening to myself. Still other times I might head out to meet our friends for karaoke. I'm not much into the bar/club scene but I can be talked into staying out late for the right event.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm a pretty open book. People always have to get used to the fact that I don't really keep secrets that are my own. I'm pretty reliable when it comes to keeping other people's secrets but I just am not a very private person by nature. So I'm willing to admit just about anything- you just need to ask me first. No question too personal, too blunt, too offensive, too risky. In fact, I'll probably only respect you more for having the balls to ask what you really want to ask. That being said, maybe at least say hi first? :)

I suppose I ought to at least confess one thing in the spirit of the prompt... it's just hard because nothing is really "private" to me unless it's someone else's business. Hmm... I attend a BDSM party once a month. I will often wear the same article of clothing several times before washing it. I wish I could switch genders at will as often as I liked.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
• You think things are funny that other people don't.
• You have a zombie preparedness plan.
• You like heated philosophical discussions.
• You actually read my ridiculously verbose profile.
• You like poetry and romance.
• You want to sweep me off my feet and bring out all of my girly sides.
• You like to fly by the seat of your pants.
• You are an over-sharer.
• You are an open book.
• You are an experienced and responsible non-monogamist.
• You are really good at planning surprises.
• You find the fun in most things.
• You are not turned off by brash and blunt conversation.
• You are PRO honesty and love all the dirty, ugly little truths way more than kind fiction.
• You are not easily offended.
• You can take a good bite.
• None of your pictures are of you shirtless.
• If you're poly friendly. My partners all get a say in whether or not you're cool enough. So be cool.

I check my messages on here fairly often, so it may say I was just online, but it sometimes takes me days between actually responding because I prefer to do so from a computer where I can be as long-winded as I like. Try not to get too butt-hurt about waiting.