I honestly don't know where to start, but I'm not new here in case you were wondering. Several months ago, I left my social networking sites behind and shut off my phone indefinitely for emotional/anxiety reasons.
While it was absolutely liberating for a period of time, the lack of interaction turned me into a boring, uninspired person. It's so exhausting being negative all the time. I don't know how long it's going to take me before I lose my patience with this site for the umpteenth time, but this is pretty much the only dating site I ever used that I met people off of, so I'm hoping it will be worth the aggravation.
I haven't socialized in over six months. I haven't spoken to any friends whatsoever in about two or three, and that's only because I happened to work with one of them, but we don't work together anymore. I'd like to believe that my friends just really suck at texting and I'm not really that socially inept.
What interests me varies day by day, but since this is a dating site and I'm not going to lie about my intent, I'm mostly concerned about something casual, for the time being.
More sex driven: My sexual drive is very high, but please read on...
If the only interest in me you have is sexual, I don't want you texting me. I can tell whether or not we only share a high match percentage because you only answered the questions about sex. Just because I'm horny and you are too doesn't mean I'm feeling up to participating in a one-dimensional relationship with you, nor do I feel like texting back and forth for weeks on end about it, meeting once IF we get that far, only for you to never talk to me again.
I really shouldn't have to choose between having a partner who doesn't care about me when he doesn't need to drain his sack and one with no physical attraction to me whatsoever. I'm not asking for marriage or anything. All I'm asking for is something more regular.
More kinky: This is true, although I've never gotten the chance to participate in the lifestyle. I have a FL account, but it's done me no favors. I feel like in order to become a part of that community that I need connections but it's hard enough for me to open up to people in general. I have no idea where to begin. I'll take my chances here.
I consider myself a masochist. I used to identify myself as a submissive, and I still would be open to performing a submissive role for the right person IF he even exists but I've got to be honest - I don't get along well with dominant men. I've spent my life submitting in every other context that I'm just not willing to compromise in my private life as well.
Less kind: People think I'm nice...
According to my personality results, OKCupid happens to disagree with that assessment. I'm only misanthropic because I care too much. I'm so earnest that it annoys people. If I were only pretending to be kind, I would have given up the charade a long time ago because I sure as fuck haven't gotten anything out of it but pain. I've tried to fight it, but my pesky conscience gets in the way.
I don't really take it as a compliment anymore. People mistake kindness for weakness all the time, or people are willing to trade in a good personality for other traits. I'm the "really cool girl" you never asked on a second date. I'm not dumb.
I'm not athletic. In fact, I hate sports with a passion. It's like a crime to live in Pittsburgh and hate football, hockey, and baseball. I just don't find it interesting or fun and I think it has way too much influence on culture, especially here. If you're one of those overly physical types, we'd probably piss each other up a wall.
I'm introverted, literary, and artistic. On the other hand, I'm not mathematical or scientific, so I'm not eager to call myself a nerd, but my behavior probably fits the stereotype. Of course, when you're silent, nervous, and give zero fucks about Star Wars, the 1990s, or Neil Degrasse-Tyson (?), everyone just thinks you're a serial killer instead.
I'm a pretty dark person. I was born that way, and I'm proud. I enjoy some counterculture, even though I think parts of it are still very shallow, if not more shallow than the mainstream. I have my ears pierced twice in each ear and a tattoo on my left calf. I want a few more tattoos and a few more piercings, but it's never gotten in the way of expressing myself being without them. The counterculture's emphasis on body modification as a beauty standard is toxic and hypocritical at best. I guess I'm not supposed to question it, but I think for myself.
I've already added far more in here so far than I thought I was going to, but once I start typing, it's hard for me to stop.
(To be continued, because my eyes are currently struggling to keep open.)