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27 Oakdale, PA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Jul 3
5′ 0″ (1.52m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Working on university
Less than $20,000
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Train wreck.

This section is still currently under construction. This profile's a horrible mess. I have many thoughts and no idea how to organize them, but before anything let me get this out of the way:

I'm not on here to make internet chat buddies only at the moment. I'm not interested in a long distance relationship either, because I've tried to make something of it too many times and it's never worked out for me. Let's face it, the day you visit me is likely never going to come, so let's stop making promises we know we aren't going to keep and spare me the heartache, okay?

I've wasted a lot of time holding my breath for such things to happen, even having waited years for certain men, and either they ended up replacing me, I ended up resenting them, or both.


Several months ago, I left my social networking sites behind and shut off my phone indefinitely for emotional/anxiety reasons.

While it was absolutely liberating for a period of time, the lack of interaction turned me into a boring, uninspired person. It's so exhausting being negative all the time. I don't know how long it's going to take me before I lose my patience with this site for the umpteenth time, but this is pretty much the only dating site I ever used that I met people off of, so I'm hoping it will be worth the aggravation.

I haven't socialized in over six months. I haven't spoken to any friends whatsoever in about two or three, and that's only because I happened to work with one of them, but we don't work together anymore. I'd like to believe that my friends just really suck at texting and I'm not really that socially inept.

I've been answering and re-answering the match questions on here for the last four years, give or take. I put a moderate amount of stock into the matching system on here, not only because this is the only dating site I've ever used where I saw any results, but because I think some questions are fundamentally important in determining whether or not we'd get along. On the other hand, OKCupid bitches at me if I mark too many questions in a row as being irrelevant, but I really don't think that how many pillows you sleep with at night make or break a relationship.

That said, I can tell whether or not we only share a high match percentage because you only answered the questions about sex. I'm not interested in that. Supposedly, because I'm a woman and all and so many of you actually believe this bullshit, I can just ask for sex and get it. I'm not giving you my number as foreplay. If we can't be close, I don't feel comfortable exchanging contact information with you, so please keep that in mind. I have been way too liberal with providing my number. I've stopped adding contacts because it got out of hand. There are so many numbers in my phone that just collect dust, and I don't mean that in the first world problems "too popular" way (it's a first world problem nonetheless, but I'd love to have that problem instead of this one) ; I mean that I've gotten nowhere way too many times.

Also, would like to know where these so-called men are who make it so possible for women to sleep with "whoever they want". Just saying.

Update: I have chosen to practice celibacy until I lose at least 30 pounds. I still have a long way to go, but I have realized that in order to achieve the kind of relationship that would make me happy, I need to improve my image.

I have a FL account that makes me feel like I'm the world's biggest poseur because I learned I haven't done shit compared to what I want to and could be doing. It's a joke. I'm not really the kind of social butterfly who just drops by at sex parties every weekend.

I'm not athletic. In fact, I hate sports with a passion. It's like a crime to live in Pittsburgh and hate football, hockey, and baseball. I just don't find it interesting or fun and I think it has way too much influence on culture, especially here. If you're one of those overly physical types, we'd probably piss each other up a wall.

I'm introverted, literary, and artistic. On the other hand, I'm not mathematical or scientific, so I'm not eager to call myself a nerd, but my behavior probably fits the stereotype. Of course, when you're silent, nervous, and give zero fucks about Star Wars, the 1990s, or Neil Degrasse-Tyson (?), everyone just thinks you're a serial killer instead. Yes, I am absolutely throwing what the cool kids call "shade" at the status quo.

I'm a pretty dark person. I was born that way, and I'm proud. I made classmates and teachers alike uneasy while I was growing up. I like to make connections with kindred souls. I hate being treated like a curiosity, bothered to answer people's questions and nothing more.

I don't like to message first, but I don't bite all of the time.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Currently working in the food industry and hoping to continue educating myself in communications/journalism/similar soon enough. I'm not sure how much longer I can ride it out here before I find myself in prison...

I have a general idea what I want to do. I'd like to be a magazine columnist, but I think it'd be very fun to get into radio. My third option is to become a language translator.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing, blah blah blah, negativity, and masking my pain with humor. My not so hidden talent is my ability to deflate an erection from a mile away. "Gooorl, you funneh!"
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Like, for real? "Where's your sister?!?!?!"

Or dating site answer? People don't. Sometimes I get compliments on my warpaint, but I'm suspicious they're being ironic, so I don't like that compliment.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Clive Barker.

My favorite writer and inspiration is HP Lovecraft.

Movies: I'm obsessed with Evil Dead.
Hellraiser I&II, Bram Stoker's Dracula, Nightbreed, Candyman, The Crow, American History X, Evil Dead 2, Let the Right One In, The Craft, Wakewood, Lake Mungo, Lord of Illusions, Death Becomes Her, Superstar, Little Nicky.

Speaking of movies, I'd be happy if I never got to watch Talladega Nights or Dude Where's My Car? again, but I can't really bond with other people over movies so I don't care.

TV: King of the Hill,
My Name is Earl,
The Nanny,
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,
King of the Hill,
Metal Mania,
120 Minutes,
King of the Hill,
King of the Hill,
American Horror Story before it became too stupid this season,
King of the Hill.
Twin Peaks!!!

Currently watching: The X-Files.

Music: Lots and lots of "devil music".
Opera IX,
Carach Angren,
In Tenebris,
Carpathian Forest,
Anorexia Nervosa,
Ov Hell,
Gloomy Grim,
Hecate Enthroned,
Darkened Nocturn Slaughtercult,
Nocturnal Depression,
Bishop of Hexen,
Children of Bodom,
Dawn of Ashes,
Judas Iscariot,
Iron Maiden,
Black Sabbath,
Judas Priest,
Iced Earth,
Ava Inferi,
Ego Likeness,
The Birthday Massacre,
Older AFI,
L'Ame Immortelle,
Nera Nature,
Satanic Warmaster,
Sear Bliss,
Velvet Acid Christ,
Suicide Commando,
I like some new wave too.

Food: Steak, blue-rare. Also, Jack Links. Meat and dairy are a staple in my diet.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I wish I were half as spellbinding in person as I am over the internet.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Crying, vomiting on myself, masturbating myself with broken glass playing Robot Unicorn Attack. All at once.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I feel ugly.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're scary.