I have been an on and off member on OKC for about four years. My activity on here has dipped to a new low. Nonetheless, I've been holding onto this profile because words is all I have to offer. Not a single person would consider me worth a second glance without this wall of text. That's all I am.
Why don't I just walk around carrying a billboard that states all of my thoughts and interests if that's all it takes to capture your attention? So you felt compelled to message me only because of my intellect? Just wait here while I impart all my wisdom until I turn you on. Or maybe it's my taste in music. That must be it. Let me introduce you to my Last.FM account and wait for the aural Viagra to kick in, baby.
"Hot damn, check out the musical preferences on that one!"
-No one ever.
Personality and musical preference is important to me, but I also don't go out of my way to make myself as palatable to look at as I can for my health. Pretending that it is beneath your notice is very insulting. By the way, how the fuck did you conceive that it's a good idea to compare me to other women?
"I like you because at least you don't look like a perfect Barbie doll!"
Yet the archetype is so buried inside your subconscious that you can't help but start making comparisons every time you look at me. Fuck that noise. I long to be ideal, not just someone who you feel comfortable taking home because I don't remind you of the popular girl who rejected you in high school. I guess in that manner I'm not as unique as you think I am. You think I'm an enigma, but there are so many women out there who are better versions of myself.
i've made the choice to practice celibacy until I lose a considerable amount of weight because confidence reasons. Some men out there say they prefer larger women, but I think it's all bullshit and don't trust them. You can tell me as much as you'd like that you aren't going to weight-shame, but that doesn't mean I'm going to cave in to allowing you to see me naked because you said one thing and most likely mean another.
I'd estimate that up to half you guys don't even know what a bigger chick looks like. Bigger than what, exactly, 110 pounds? Hahahahaha, and au contraire to what galleries on The Chive would you lead you to believe about a woman's anatomy, there ARE more than two fat stores on a woman's body. Sorry, but one of us had to say it. If you are actually okay with this, you aren't half bad.
Maybe you want to humiliate me or are curious, but haha, yeah...that's not going to fly with me.
Not until you have actually met me in the physical sense will I stop believing that you're only attracted to the idea of me. There's a reason why I've failed to hold onto a guy for longer than two months. I have trouble making the jump from acquaintance to friendship with other people. I'm only admired from afar by people who claim to enjoy my points of view but argue that my perception is skewered. I'm insecure but that's the way you like me. It's like it's part of who I am to people.
You think it's funny that I see a hambeast when I look in the mirror. You think it's sexy that I'm a masochist. You think my makeup's neat (it's not even good). You've never met any girls who like black metal. And because of these reasons I'm supposed to drop my fucking internet panties for you and waste even more of my life waiting for you to come by. All I'm saying is wait until you've met me in person before you decide to become all infatuated with me and shit.
At the end of the day, I still like romance, affection, and being told I'm pretty just like the other girls do. I don't know when people got it twisted that just because I like necrophilia jokes, dark music, creepy things, and HP Lovecraft that I can't be a hopeless romantic as well. I do lack faith in humanity, because I know how unfair members of this species can be toward others.
By the way, my "personality" stats are way off. I have answered all questions in complete honesty, and I moderately trust the matching algorithm here as opposed to "other sites" but I actually have a lot to give. No-one I personally know thinks that I'm unkind and I can actually be very loving. I'm just not competing in the Miss America pageant.