Right or Left Handed: Right for good; Left for evil
Your Heritage: Irish, English, Nazi
The Shoes You Wore Today shoes? I'm barefoot and pregnant, damn you!
Your Weakness: I'm a MUGGLE
Your Fears: Being the mother of the Anti-Christ
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Roll down a really big Scottish hill. Hill rollin is bitchin.
Thoughts First Waking Up: America has no view. Where are all the goddamn castles?
Your Most Missed Memory: My past life ones
Pepsi or Coke: vodka tonic
MacDonalds or Burger King: HUFU - Human Flesh Flavored Tofo store
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: You Southerners and your gross ass iced tea; hot tea with milk please
Chocolate or Vanilla:Coffee
Cappuccino or Coffee: Coffee, I don't need that hoity toity rich folk stuff
Do you Smoke: Only on Wednesday
Do you Swear: Only on when fuckers walk the Earth. I think that's in February
Do you Sing: Karoke Tuesday
Have you Been in Love: In a past life; then I was decapitated and burned in a plane crash, GODDAMIT!
Do you want to go to College: Not again
Do you want to get Married: Do you want to go on a date with Ted Bundy? Thought not.
Do you get Motion Sickness: HAHAHAHA; losers
Do you think you are Attractive: Do spiders come from Hell?
Are you a Health Freak: HAHA; yes, why are you laughing asshole?
Do you get along with your Parents: I was trained by the Menendez Brothers
Do you like Thunderstorms: Live for 'em
Do you play an Instrument: They call me Beetzart round these parts
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Only because I was trying to light myself on fire
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Too many meds = no clothes + mall fountain and me, jumping out to scream "I AM A KRACKEN FROM THE SEA!"
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Yeah, I hopped right in my time machine and had icees with Elvis. He likes rootbeer ones, the ass.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: For a shooting spree only, I swear
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: No, oreos make me hot and then I have to shower to get the little black bits outta my-
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: I don't eat things that come from the sea, thanks
In the past month have you been on Stage: I'm always on a stage
In the past month have you been Dumped: "No one leaves a starrrrrrrr" - sunset blvd
Ever been Drunk: Only in church
Ever been Beaten up: No, but I gotten "my Irish up" on more than one occasion - I smiled for my mug shot
Ever Shoplifted: I have a hundred cents, what do I need to steal for?
How do you want to Die: Of an orgasm under a hot 20 year old when I'm 75
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Peter Pan - I think that means no...I don't.
What country would you most like to Visit: Ewok Village

Assassin stuff.
Shit, my secret spy boss is gonna be pissed.

Writing novels:
“First I find the place. I wondered who had lived there, what their lives were like.
Something whispered to my mind and I began to write. My pen creates stories of a world that might have been, a world of my imaging. And here is one I’m going to tell.
But take care. Not a smile at any part of it.” – Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

I went to film school at UT Austin, graduated and moved back to LA where I worked in Hollywood for quite a while until they made me go insane and assassinate several co-workers. So I came back, temporarily? I don't know, to concentrate on getting the rest of my damn novels published.

If the Brits make it, I'll take it.
I'm a novelist. This means I'm a pretty good speller. Cool.
Dry humor. But you have to be at least 48' tall to play or fear being ripped to shreds by these sharp teeth.

Knowledge. Intelligence. Learning. Traveling. I would go to Tel Aviv if I knew I wouldn't get flippin' blown up.

I can see it now. I chillin in a cafe outside, eating a burger when suddenly a bomb goes off and I'm thrown out. Slowly I turn my head and see my hand across the way still clutching my half eaten burger. Sexy.

That I let my freak flag fly!

For example: Weird questions with awesome answers!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Totally, I was named for the girl WHO SHOT JR on the TV show DALLAS. What up.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Febturday

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I used to have kickass handwriting, now it looks like a retarded kid using their wrong hand is writing it

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ew. I dunno, maybe dead little EWOKS.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Nope. I'm a lone gun

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? 50% love me, 50% hate me, so I guess if I was lame and boring, no. If I RULED, I would worship at my feet.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM? I only speak in Sarcastic tongues

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes. Who the hell gets their tonsils out anymore? That was just a racket from the 80's.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Yes. And I will, off Victoria Falls in Africa when I go there in 3 years.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Ew.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? Dude I wear flippin flip flops and high heels. Shoe laces are for 9 yr olds. But no. I don't. Oh and my fav sneakers totally are velcro.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Eh. Oh, Cake flavoured ice cream from those fancy parlors. Flavoured? Dude, I'm turning British.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Their personalities and hair, yeah, I definitely like hair. Huh? That is weird.

15. RED OR PINK? RED. I love red. I think my real father was Lucifer.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Procrastination

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Clark Gable

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST? Really I'm just showing off

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Uh, shoes? And Forest green pants! Now try and tell me THAT is not cool? Don't freak out, they are yoga pants. hahahaha

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? 30 Seconds to Mars, A Beautiful Lie. I totally just have my computer on random. But I DO like this song.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Thunderstorm!

23. FAVORITE SMELL? Cinnamon

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Probably Pepe, even though she is text obsessed

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes, der. I've only known her 17 years. Holy, I'm getting old.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Uh, Ice skating? DODGERS BASEBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

27. HAIR COLOR? Golden Brown auburn

28. EYE COLOR? Green

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope. I have perfect vision, oh and x-ray vision

30. FAVORITE FOOD? Human flesh

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Sad Endings, man. Every time.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Uh, Wolverine, what up. I'm a fanboy but with boobs. HAHHAHAHAHA

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? purple, wifebeater, what up

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? Fall

35. HUGS OR KISSES? Don't touch me

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? Nah

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I didn't invite anyone to my party, so what now, huh?

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Dead and Gone, Charlaine Harris, Fortune's Fool, Mercedes Lackey and all my own manuscripts cause I'm in deep editing mode.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? VEGASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS, really, it's really gay. It says I'm in the High Rollers Club. Dolla dolla bills yo.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Supernatural. Uhm! I just love them Winchester boys. OK, but I also watched The Empire Stikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and, uh, The Bachelorette . I'm sorry.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S)? Thunderstorms, a great song

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles. No one competes with the Beatles, that is just retardation

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Europe, huh, what was the farthest country, Italy?

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Ha, only like 7,000. I write novels, I play the piano, I compose music, yeah. And I dance like a strippa, what uppppppppppppppppppppp

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Santa Cruz, CA

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I dunno, some polygamist cult's

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER? Don't have one.

49. IS THE CUP HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? Yeah, half empty. Damn I need to work on that

50. IF YOU COULD SIT DOWN TO DINNER WITH FIVE PEOPLE WHO WOULD YOU CHOOSE? Well, we would need a lot of booze to start. Clark Gable, Doctor Who's David Tennant, Hot ass Alexander Hamilton (yeah the guy on the $10 bill), someone from the future, Pepe (which is what my best friend and I call each other)

Seriously? You want me to list music here? Personally I prefer the soothing melodies of spoons against chopsticks, but if you really wanna jive try for the piercing shriek of the Pterodactyl, which is also the name of a dance I invented. That's right, the PTERODACTYL, and if you ask me if the spelling is correct I will just advise you to visit my books at the Barnes and H-ing Noble smartass!!!!! I'm tellin' you. Ok, ok...I've played the piano since I was 4 (don't get your hopes up I'm only a sex prodigy) so I love musical scores, classical, opera, movie themes, acoustic guitar, violin and solo piano are my absolute favorites. I love the oldies, Ella, Billie, Nina Simone is my favorite though, Frank, etc you know the line-up. Alternative, duh, but quieter/sad sounding alternative. I cry and cut myself. And a true child of the '80s I believe that it truly was the greatest period of pop, oh yeah. A-ha, what exactly is take on me supposed to mean? Don't care, jam on it! Old 70's rock. Duh. Are you deaf? Oh...so sorry, so sorry.
Favorite TV Shows:
Anglophile on premisesssssssssss. DOCTOR WHO. (Scottish theory), Torchwood, Robin Hood, Arrested Development, I miss thee. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Testees, Flight of the Conchords, Whitest Kids U Know, Moonlight (what, you got a problem with hot vampires? Because I'm mature enough to admit I sure as HELL do not), Torchwood, Chuck, Gossip Girl ( What? That bad boy Chuck is hot), Lost, True Blood, Weeds, Ghosthunters, Office, 30 Rock, SUPERNATURAL, History channel anywhere, anytime. Dude, I watch a lot of TV.
Favorite Movies:
Braveheart is the one I really never tire of. The English Patient, Elizabeth, Phantom of the Opera, Dangerous Beauty, Dracula, Interview with the vampire, Closer, Quills (because Joaquin sexes a dead body. Cool.) The Departed, Blood Diamond, Sweeney Todd, Reality Bites - because while others want to help the world, I would like to buy everyone a coke. HIGHLANDER, Dear Frankie, Pride and Prejudice, Last of the Mohicans, American Beauty, Immortal Beloved, Like Water for Chocolate, Amelie (yes I speak French fluently, except when I'm in France, muahhahaha), Queen Margot, Casablanca, Gone with the Wind, The true first 3 star wars (although I cried like a little bitch when Anakin's legs melted off in the lava! Noooooo!), Jaws, Indiana all of 'em, Willow (yes bitches!), When Harry Met Sally, Can't Buy Me Love, Aspen Extreme, Swing Kids, Titanic (duh, I was 15 when it came out, what do you expect?), Hot Rod, LA Confidential, Pump up the Volume, The Changeling (hands down scariest ghostie; "My fatherrrrrrrrrr....my rooooooooooom.") Dead Again, Blow, It Happened One Night, uh, we're gonna be here all day, I have a degree in film .

Favorite Books:
Jane Eyre, Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Wuthering Heights (but it pisses me off), Laurell K Hamilton jazz, Sylvia Plath, Scarlet Pimpernel, The Mayor of Casterbridge (AHHHHHHHHHHH, muther ihfsdhfkusdffksdf!!!!!!), Lorna Doone, Sookie Stackhouse series, Gardella Vampire Chronicles, Judith McNaught anything, The Pirate and the Pagan (yeahhhh, dirty romance novel, I love them), the Marquis de Sade was a deliciously sick fucker, love it.

“To judge from the notions expounded by theologians, one must conclude that God created most men simply with a view to crowding hell” - Marquis de Sade

Books
Tivo
Champagne
Tragedy
My dogs
Toothpaste

AND 25 Awesome Random Facts About ME (cause I rule)
1. I could not live upon this earth without toothpaste. No no no no no no no
2. I am usually the only woman ballsy enough to play Craps in Vegas, and I win WIN WIN!!!
3. I grew up in a haunted house in Los Angeles.
4. I worked in Hollywood for a while, went totally nuts and lost my mind. But I totally drove those golf carts around the back lot of Universal like I was important. With my aviator sunglasses on, I was bitchin. Except once I lost control and almost ran over the Heroes cast. True story.
5. I've seen 3 shark attacks as the other half of my childhood I lived on the beach in Santa Cruz, CA. The Hippie capital of the West.
6. I have Peter Pan syndrome
7. My best friend and I have called each other "PEPE" since we were 16. We been best friends 17 years. HOLY SHIT that is almost TWO decades! IF we call each other by our real name, it means we are pissed.
8. Since the age of 17 I've written 32 novels.
9. I've traveled Europe and London is my beloved town, but Paris is my hometown, but I want to live in Scotland because it and I, ARE WILD!
10. I speak French fluently. In Paris, they think I am Parisian my accent is that good. Yeah, that's right, WHAT UP.
11. I fell down a waterfall in Hawaii once and almost drowned, but I am such a kickass swimmer that I didn't get crushed by the pressure and spray.
12. I have to drug myself to the point of near death to get on an airplane. But it's a fun near death. Yeah, I definitely freak out the other passengers. I love to do that.
13. 13 is my lucky number
14. I have 2 younger brothers that will KICK YOUR ASS if you hurt me. Not that you could beat my Ninja moves anyway.
15. I actually LIKE Opera
16. My favorite book is Persuasion, by Jane Austen. Her last one, all about longing and waiting. Awesome.
17. My favorite quote is: "Then the worst happened, that big, dark, hunky boy, the only one there huge enough for me, who had been hunching around over women, and whose name I had asked the minute I had come into the room, but no one told me, came over and was looking hard in my eyes and it was Ted Hughes." - Sylvia Plath, Diaries
18. I was Carol Lombard in a past life. Mostly because I've loved, and I really mean to be in love, with Clark Gable since I was 12.
19. I am an Anglophile. Which means I love everything British.
20. I read the dictionary for fun. No really.
21. I actually DO LOVE Hamlet.
22. I want to be a Vampire. I don't care, I don't care. I want my vampire loverrrrrrrrr dammit! (And no this is not because I devoured the Twilight series like a 12 yr old girl, I want killer Dracula, mmmmmmmmmm)
23. I play video games like a 13 yr old boy. Which means, often and BADASS!
24. I can read 2 large books in one day. I think that means I'm like a genius kid or something
25. I totally do paint-by-numbers and LOVE IT

Literature. I am an author, after all. I write constantly, but I read more. I love reading.

"And I pray one prayer--I repeat it till my tongue stiffens--Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you--haunt me, then!...Be with me always--take any form--drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!" - Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte

"Rage, rage against the dying of the light" - Dylan Thomas

"A woman is like a teabag, you never know how strong she is until you put her in hot water." - Mae West

"This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever." (Sigmund Freud on the Irish) Fuck! I'm so Irish!

"Then the worst happened, that big, dark, hunky boy, the only one there huge enough for me, who had been hunching around over women, and whose name I had asked the minute I had come into the room, but no one told me, came over and was looking hard in my eyes and it was Ted Hughes." - Sylvia Plath

It totally depends. I can be the girl dancing on the bar at the hottest club in town, or I can snuggled up with a great movie or better book OR hanging from a bungee cord. I love all adventures life has to offer. I love Adventure.

I'm a terrible romantic and I believe in love so much that I fear I will never be able to hold it.

You know how to read. hahahahha. OR, you've liked what you've read about me. Because I am me and I know who I am, at long last. If you're open minded and fearless and would totally jump out of a plane with me or Shark Cage Dive the flying Air Jaws Great Whites in South Africa with me.