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26 M Philadelphia, PA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 1:53pm
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Aquarius, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs
English, Hindi (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Position available. Enquire Within.

I am seeking a woman to fill the position of girlfriend or casual fling. The role will involve working closely with me on a variety of projects. Most will include food, booze, movies or some combination thereof. Upon the return of more merciful weather the scope of projects will expand to include reading in parks, riding bikes and other outdoors-y stuff. Maybe we can go camping if you’re into that.

Payment will be offered in the form of good conversation, home-cooked meals, massages, sexual favors and commitment, if desired.

Qualifications and Experience:

A fully formed prefrontal cortex is appreciated, but not necessary. In either case it should be accompanied by a profound urge to occasionally make bad decisions. College degrees can be interesting, but life experience is much sexier. An appreciation of art and music is a must. You must create something, anything, regularly. My “type” is best described as tattooed and willowy, but I’m open to suggestions.

Please submit resume for consideration or at least say ‘hi’.

My qualities and qualifications for your consideration:

I have my A.S. in physics and my B.A. in journalism. I am a journalist by day and a bartender by night. I ask too many questions, but it’s usually because I’m nervous the conversation won’t continue if I don’t. I’m well traveled. I’ve spent time on four continents, but there is much more to see. I’m inclined towards mechanical rather than teleological thinking, but I’ve always be fascinated by the other camp.

I like to know how things work and I enjoy taking stuff apart. Don’t tell me something is broken unless you want to find it in pieces on the kitchen table. I mean that in a literal “I’ll take your computer apart” kind of way and the figurative “I’ll try and solve your life problems” kind of way. Sometimes this is helpful, but occasionally it’s a curse. For what it’s worth, I’m pretty good at it.

I’m 6’2. Like, real life 6’2 not internet 6’2. I’m a nice person. I’ve been described as “the strong silent type” but I disagree with the characterization. I usually feel like I’m acting like a fool. That isn’t to say I’m not prone to being stoic.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I’ve always thought of this website like a glorified job search. It’s like for people. You enter in your parameters and out pops some possible matches. The problem is no one ever clearly states their intentions or qualifications. Everything is obfuscated in cliché posturing and asinine, oddly intrusive questions. They can be revealing in their own right, but by no means totally effective. So, I thought “fuck it.” I might as well just treat it like it is.

I know pragmatism and dating don’t traditionally go together, but I thought that maybe I could define my own idea of traditional. I am, after all, trying to meet a woman by utilizing this series of tubes we call the internet. Fuck the traditional, right?
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I suppose people notice how tall I am. You tell me.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Vonnegut, Hunter S. Thompson, Gabriel García Márquez, Paul Bowles (Sheltering Sky is probably the best book ever), Bukowski, William S. Burroughs...

Movies: Buried, The Most Dangerous Man in America, Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Inception. I watch way too many movies.

Music: The Mars Volta, Richard Shindell, Richard Thompson, The Tallest Man on Earth, Deicide, Ezra Furman And the Harpoons, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Patrick Watson, Yellow Ostrich

Food: I fucking love food.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Books, a computer, a guitar, people, food, cigarettes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Time. It's a really crazy thing.

What's next? Where am I going?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Probably working followed by drinks with friends.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
This is the first time I have tried an online dating site.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
There are few things I find more sexy than a woman that can sing especially if you sound like this: