Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've reworked this a bunch of time and I've decided this is the
best way to do so:
I'm the guy always telling jokes and keeping people laughing. I
keep everyone smiling because it fulfills me. I enjoy making people
happy and making sure they have a good time.
I work full time in sales with a goal to open my own store for
myself in the same field. I'd love to invest in a cafe and/or bar
in the future as well.
I just want someone I can sit and talk to. Someone to watch movies
with and relax. If I can sit still with you, lay quietly with you
in each other's arms, then we getting somewhere. My life is full of
chaos. I need someone who can quiet me down and focus me.
If you want to know how I feel about a relationship then listen to
Ants In My Pants by the band Say Anything.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Apparently, I've done just about everything from Dr's offices to
I work in sales. It's a love/hate relationship.
Currently, I am working on opening my own store location in the
I'd prefer to start my own bar or Cafe in the future as well.
Mostly because I loved/love bartending.
I don't like the idea of working for someone else all my life.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cocktails, tea, bullshitting, telling stories among other things I
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The greet. Sometimes people mention my eyes or that I usually have
a hat on. Often, it's the lighthearted jokes and laughter.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'm far too eclectic for a section like this. I'll eat, drink, read
or watch anything that's good. Any genre, any category.
Here's a better list. Things I generally don't like or enjoy:
Shellfish i.e. lobster, crab, shrimp, etc
White fish i.e. tilapia, flounder, etc.
Tuna unless it's in well made sushi
Spinach. I just can't...
That Phillipino chicken embryo egg crap. No.
Straight up just dumb people.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Tea, cocktail ingredients, my dog, family, the generics.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Anything, really. Lately, a lot about work.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At home after work relaxing on the couch. Maybe out for a drink. I
never know one week from the next.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Don't judge me for liking my satin pajamas.
They feel great.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you're not offended by the following list of things I hate
hearing on any dating profile that I always see, whether it applies
to you or not:
"I'm not your average girl" average response
"I'm different/unique/unusual" see above reasoning why this is
"I want a man to take care of me" you already have parents and I
work too hard to carry anyone with me who can't manage on their
"Yo homez, I'm a queen lookin' fer duh kng in dis shiz." the amount
of time it took for autocorrect to let me make that many mistakes
is only a better reason why I can't stand that kind of line. You're
an adult. You had English class for a reason. Use it. Also, you're
not a queen and I don't serve anyone shit unless it's a shot I'm
paid to pour.
If your 5 things you couldn't live without consists of more than 2
of the following:
Seriously, I know you need oxygen. You're not a goddamn
If you are a transsexuals, pre or post op, you get all my respect
for being you, but put that on your profile. No one wants a
surprise like that all of a sudden and it's setting you up for
"I'm just here looking for friends/I'm already happily married"
Leave. Right now. This is a goddamn dating site. Don't be offended
when you're married on a dating site and people ask if ya wanna
cheat. What did you goddamn expect?
Absolutely NOTHING. An empty profile. OR, EVEN WORSE, you fill out
the sections with absolutely NO worthwhile information that says
you apart from literally anyone walking past my store door. Combine
that with no profile pic of yourself and you're basically nothing
to me because you portray yourself that way, as nothing.
And who started this new trend of only posting a pic of yourself
from behind so all we see if your back or the back of your head?
This is the dumbest shit I've ever seen. I get it, you don't want
us to judge you by your appearance, but all it says to me is that
you either have no confidence, don't care if anyone messages you at
all which defeats the purpose of making a profile on this site
completely, or most offensive to me is using some sultry or
evocative picture trying to show off your body when 90% of men will
focus on a woman's fave before anything. EVEN WHEN WATCHING PORN
almost all men stare at the FACE most of all without even realizing
Was that a bit intense? I feel it had to be said. Now, would I
excuse a lot of that for the right person? Of course, people in
reality are more than the summation of their online profiles. But
seriously, those things drive me nuts.
If you're not offended by any of that ^ then go ahead. Seriously,
you're probably awesome if you actually made it through that,
whether it applies to you or not.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.