I guess I just don't understand people's obsession with pushing the correct elevator button?

I am currently in a void where my roommate's schedule is the only clue I have to whether or not it's the weekend or the morning or Columbus Day; time is meaningless to me at this point.

So I am trying to learn anything I can about everything I can.

This is why I am here: instead of a date, I would like you to treat me to an experience. I am not offering much in return except a profile picture with an orange hat and a flexible schedule. I am not very giving.

My job requires that I be able to pop out at a moment's notice, but I want something worth popping-in to. It doesn't have to be anything except a conversation, but I want it to be a Real Conversation™ and not a Getting-to-Know-Each-Other thing.

This me isn't for dating. I am aware that I am in the wrong place.

Eraserhead for all of them.

Which one is Friday?

I used to love the idea of sarcasm punctuation until I tried to make this sentence's meaning clear.

you want to stage a public breakup at a place you'll probably never want to return to.