Are you ready? OK, here we go,
I'm gunna try put on a bit of a show,
I've got brown hair, deep green eyes,
And an incredible ability to improvise.
Born in South Africa, I've travelled the world,
My life swirled, twirled, whirled and unfurled
into a fantastic reality, full of fun,
I live life to the full, and I'll show you how its done!
I like coffee, thunderstorms, summer smiles,
Rock climbing, and sailing around the British Isles,
I'm pretty fussy with women, you ought to know,
My Private Investigators are pretty thorough ;)
I like waitresses, they often have a nice bum,
I don't like models, so far they've been pretty dumb.
You'll be: 19-29, confident and attractive,
Gym membership's a bonus, I'd like that you were proactive!
Bonus points for a bright personality, or tattoo's,
A positive outlook on life, and a good taste in shoes.
Over all, I'm a funny wild bad-boy. confident and romantic,
But don't think you'll tie me down, my life is too frantic!
What I really need is a crazy, fun-loving, partner in crime,
To have adventures with, and make more of these rhymes!
If that's you, I'd love you to apply,
A) I'll speak to you soon, for now good bye!
B) We'll go get some coffee, maybe apple pie..
C) With me a first date could end up in Shanghai!
D) If its not, message me, and tell me why!
Pick the option above that you think best suits, and let me know :P
To those who ask if I really wrote the above. Yes. And you should know that I have a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my profile you just considered copying go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.