Hi. I'm a homeless drunk seeking a perfect 10.

Ok, I'm not really a homeless drunk. That line was crafted to attract my two target demographics: desperate hotties and girls with a sense of humor.

If you are a desperate hotty, it is not actually necessary for you to read any further. Just send me your name and number.

Otherwise, I suppose you would like to know more about me. I'm 28 and at the peak of physical health. My benchpress/squat/car is over 2000lbs combined. Also, I am in excellent shape financially. I make over one hundred dollars per hour of actual work. If I seem too good to be true, do not be intimidated. I am very down to earth.

Research baby. The most exciting -search. Also the most interesting Re-. I hold a prestigious research position at the University of Texas where I have an office with a beautiful view (of ongoing construction).

I also engage in many exciting recreational activities. For example, reading. That's exciting, right? I also enjoy outdoor activities such as hiking, swimming and long walks. I've met some girls who *said* they like long walks, but after the tenth mile or so they started complaining. "I'm tired." "It's dark." "Where are we?" "Do you even know how to get back?" Of course I know how to get back! Would I be wandering purposefully in various directions if I were lost?

Oh. Do we have to be good at something? Sorry. I'll just be going...

Movies

I'll try to avoid listing obvious good movies. That's actually one of my pet peeves about automated movie recommendation systems, 'Based on your other reviews we think you would like "The Godfather Part II"' - Really? Is Godfather II a good movie? I had no idea.

Drama: Donnie Darko, Primer, Memento, Girl Interupted, Amadeus; Comedy: Monty Python, Rushmore, Wedding Crashers, Mean Girls, A Wish Called Wanda; Action: Braveheart, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Munich, Kill Bill, Serenity, Saving Private Ryan; Romance: Garden State, The Science of Sleep, Amelie, Pride and Prejudice (2005) - does this make me less of a man?; Horror: Final Destination - the absolute most awesome premise with the coolest death scenes.

Also I have a strong affection for certain movies that through repeated viewing have (at least in my mind) become classics: The Breakfast Club - Is this ever not on? Dune (1984) - This used to be shown on Disney late at night, every night. A Christmas Story - It's the new "It's a Wonderful Life"

Music

I have pretty broad tastes. I even like some critically panned pop and emo music. I'm not saying I'd go to a Fallout Boy concert, but if it comes on the radio I wouldn't turn it off.

Interpol, Weezer, The Killers, Daft Punk, White Stripes, Toadies, Bush, Green Day, Nirvana, Beatles, Rolling Stones, Beastie Boys, Metallica, Rage Against the Machine

I occasionally like some rap: Jay-Z, Snoop Dogg. Rarely I'll enjoy some country.

Books

Classics: 1984, The Stranger, A Tale of Two Cities, Lord of the Rings, Fahrenheit 451; Sci-Fi/Fantasy: Tolkien, Philip K. Dick, Pratchett & Weis; Non-Fiction: Feynman, Dyson, Sowell

Art

Andy Goldsworthy, Dale Chihuly, Dave McKean

Food

I'm not too picky. I really like many varieties of Asian food: Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai, Japanese - mainly sushi, and Indian food.

1. My computer 2. My passport 3. My microwave - yeah I know - sad 4. My Wii 5. My tennis racket 6. My projector / entertainment system

Based on a recent study, I spend a very large fraction of my time thinking about things I could never do without. However, some scientists have criticized this study as "unrepresentative" and "completely fictitious".

As far as what I look for in girls, I've already mentioned the most important: humor. I just want to find someone who I can hold a pleasant conversation with while I undress her with my eyes. Wait! I mean... redress... the wrongs... of the patriarchy.