Hello. Are you nice? If so, you're my kind of man.

Things I love: Reading, writing (not arithmetic, though - don't get me wrong, it's done me no harm, but I have no strong emotions towards it), dancing, walking, shopping, eating everything that crosses my path, chatting with friends and strangers, watching 1980s' romantic comedies, singing, people-watching, mooching about, travelling on trains, and my mum.

Just to clarify: I love my mum, not travelling on my mum.

Things I don't love: terracotta, those brown leather buttons you get on Aran cardigans (death-heads, I like to call them), mushrooms and risotto. But, above all these horrific things: mushroom risotto.

Please don't judge me on the 'replies selectively' thing. If you were getting messages like 'Fancy getting bummed?', you'd be selective too.

Running, jumping, climbing trees.

Making the most annoying sound in the world.

My two boobs.

Favourite book ever is Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides about a hermaphrodite - you must read it immediately. Favourite films are Ferris Bueller's Day Off and The Life Aquatic. Don't own a telly, but love Archer and Breaking Bad. Fave bands at the moment are Yacht, MGMT, XX Teens, Andrew WK. Food - marmite on toast by a country mile.

One and a half kit-kats.

Why do birds sing so gay?
Oh, and STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to...

In the kitchen at parties.

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog…When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I went nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out…But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

you know what's good for you.