www.bethezero.net/marianna (my home page)

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarryPotterForSeekers/ (a favorite, public e-mail group that I have regularly participated in, which specializes in exploring liberating & transcendental topics via a Harry Potter context)

I guess that's all for now. :)
Marianna

___Breeze Against My Face

___by Marianna Marinda, (c) 2003



"Jump on in, the waters fine!"
Some voice inside me comments
That its the driest bit of water I've ever seen.
But, I trust them all, my peers
And so I immerse
And thus begin
A period of desperate effort
To be free
From the quick sand I am in.

Has my trust been in vain?
Nay,
Sincerity is not their fault.
They share with me the sum of all they've known.
Generations of toil in this place;
They do not know the ocean
That lies just beyond this dune,
Or the refreshing breeze that blew against my face.

For many years I struggle,
Sinking further in the pit,
When all it takes to be at peace
Is float.
A voice from outside calls me,
Gently coaching so I may,
A male voice, like the ones that called me in.
But lo, I feel so vulnerable
To the forces I have known.
How can one attempt this and not sink?

Trust builds slowly
As my efforts in fear are weak,
But over time
My courage mounts
And I succeed.
The infinite expanse
Of starry sky
I see before me
Touches deep into my soul.
I am in awe.

The voices of my peers,
Female now,
Call to me.
They seek to keep me safe from what's without.
They speak of toil,
Relentless effort
Thats needed just for life.
And here,
At peace,
The breath of wind I smell is fresh and clean
And suggests a joyous world beyond this place.

"How can your man be leading right?
He leads not to where we are;
He is not working hard
To stay afloat."
They do not know his stance
Is firm upon the ground.
They have no thought of what I smell,
No jog of memory
To wish the feel of breeze against my face.

I move toward the shore, ever closer to his voice,
Now joined with female voices calling me.
Excitement mounts,
But yet I feel alone.
Would no one join me as I leave this place?
How can I help them know
The joy of breeze against my face?

- - -

On my way,
I meet another learning how to float.
Oh what joy! Let's be a team!
But so soon have I forgotten
It takes more than a day
To rise again.
My anxiousness has pushed her further in.
I'm on my own.

Having reached the shore,
I turn and roll-
The ground's beneath my feet!
I'm free!
I stand up to embrace my loving friends.
But alas!
My muscles shake
And I collapse.
I don't remember how to stand.
I'm only used to struggle in the sand.
Tears overflow.

A gentle touch,
His outstretched hand
Helping me to rise;
I feel comforted, but weak to try again.
The breeze around me strengthens;
It brings energy to me
And I can try,
And stand.
On shaky legs
I lean upon his shoulder,
Ever grateful for him there
And the firmness of his arms that cradle me.
I'm not alone.

I look back upon the pit.
A whole new picture greets my eyes
My vantage point is high,
And now I see
The struggles of the voices calling me.
A web of ropes
All tied as one
Reaches out for them to hold
Over pits that stretch as far as I can see
Why, then, can't they come and join me?

"A handhold on the safety net
Is precious,
But having that
They cannot understand the need to float,
And fear of floating
Keeps them fighting endlessly."
He tells me quietly.
Thoughts of endless dear ones
Bring yearning to my face.
I sing out
For them,
And my familiar voice
Is carried on the wind.

Its time to go.
My steps are weak,
Still leaning heavily.
I give him all my hopes and dreams.
So tenderly,
He gives them back to me,
And helps me find
My own footing
In the sand.
Oh, what a man!

He helps me up the bank,
Voices ringing in my ears:
My own voice
And the voices from behind.
The trek is slow;
I stop a lot,
Unsure of where to go-
Still fighting
Opinions from below.
He smiles at me.
The wind behind my back is strong
And I am strong.

- - -

Finally at the crest,
My world opens into light.
This sand is soft,
And warm,
So unlike the moonlit coolness that I've known.
I feel the sun on me;
Its hot!
And I remember voices
Warning me
That I'll get burned.
The breeze feels good;
I breathe it in.

Ahead of me, the waves I hear
Crashing on the beach,
A multitude of people all around.
They are beautiful-
Not pale, like me.
I shrink to hide my form.
But their voices welcome me
To frolic in the sand.
Their fire
Warms and frightens me-
An ocean wells up
Inside my heart;
I must immerse.

At the water's edge I waver,
Afraid to step within,
Still haunted by the quicksand
Past the dune.
Whats in this water?
Will I drown?
Do I have to step inside?
Once in there,
Will I ever come back out?
Female voices now surround me,
Also anxious for the plunge-
My heart lightens
And I am free
To dive in.

Glorious swirls of life
Envelope me,
Like breeze in solid form,
And I find, by very nature,
I can swim.
The world is before me-
I can dive into its depths
And be at peace.
No creature bothers me.
There is wonder everywhere;
It is magical.

And yet,
So many drifting souls
Are battered by the waves,
And cannot seem
To get back to the shore.
I wonder Why?
My own hand
Extends to offer help-
The turbulence gets calm not far below.
Though glad they are to take it,
No one wants to hold their breath-
They've been hurt before
By sharks that swim below.
And so,
We try another way.

Still battered by the waves,
We start our trek
Toward the shore,
Where they can rest in sun
And be at peace.
From experience with quicksand,
My swimming strokes are strong
And confident.
They marvel at the headway
We can make.
I tell of freedom
In the deep;
They share with me the sun-
I get a tan.

One by one,
With confidence,
Each takes a breath
And goes below-
Braving deep attack
With stronger stroke.
I know
They'll make it to the shore.
But as they go,
So goes my heart,
And I am drawn to follow them.
I know where
I want to be.

- - -

Upon the beach,
Much laughter rings;
A party is going on.
And once again,
I hear them call my name:
"Come dance with us!
You're beautiful!
Were playing in the sand!"
My heart is overflowed
With Joy!
I can stand tall
And join in.
It is wonderful!

I am alone no more,
And I am free-
But one thing yet remains
A yearning to explore
Eternity.
And so I look to see the stars,
And there I find the sun;
I am dazzled by brightness-
I can walk forever
In its warmth.
And feel the breeze
So sweet on me.

Ah, the motion!
So gentle,
Musical,
Flowing.
I am carried up
On wings of love-
Pure energy,
In every fiber of my being.
I open up
In an embrace;
And I can fly.
I am the wind.

Limitless
And Joyful,
Having found myself within,
I have mastered all the scene
I now survey.
Enfolded in the very arms of heaven,
I know the pits below-
Each person,
So alone,
In a crowd of humanity.
I feel their energy.
It's like
Missing part of me.

With scent of hope
I blow against their faces
Some can feel it,
I am glad!
But some can not.
They need
A friendly voice.
So,
Taking form
I know that they can see,
I am a child on the sand.
I love them all,
And as I look to them-
Their pleading cries for help are calling me.
So I jump in.

- - -