I had a lot of stuff on here to demonstrate how witty and urbane I am, but because I'm apparently a narcissist, I couldn't part with any of the funny shit I came up with, and it ended up looking like the diary of a crazy person. Trust me, though, I'm quite witty and urbane. I will never write you anything with 2, 4, u, or y as a word, or give you some skeezy-ass pickup line, unless I was confident you would get the sarcasm and be attracted to that rather than the line itself.

Spent 6 years out of college working in politics in DC, and decided to go to law school after I got sick of doing basically the same job lawyers did but for less money. I got some cool stories out of it, though. Spent a lot of time yelling at people. I was like Rahm Emanuel minus the power.

I'm in shape, well-read, well-traveled, been to 5 continents, will eventually make it to Africa, licensed pilot, and a pretty decent cook. I don't have much free time these days, but when I do, I like low-brow comedy movies, books about human evolution and psychology, and trying new food. In other words I'm a huge yuppie stereotype. Within 6 months of graduating I will probably have an Audi and an espresso machine and some sort of terrier.

I'm going into this mainly just looking for people who aren't in the same gossip mills as me, but who are in a similar position. Type-A, busy, not looking to get married next week, but still interested in someone to hang out with.

OKCupid keeps telling me to mark more questions as "Important" but I'm really not particularly anal about that much stuff.

Also when I have time time and money (which these days is never), I fly recreationally. A friend of mine told me that was a "panty dropper," (her words, not mine) and that I should post some videos of it. The videos are a couple of years old (and I'm pudgy and beardless in them), but here you go :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zIP-KGzhR80
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D05HfdLABWQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoIqpOepfC0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsXq-2Ap5vc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz1dwuJWYf4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTDQ4gmJP9E

Re-learning how to properly flirt with a woman. Law school killed that. Right before finals if you had walked right up to me and said "excuse me, but I have an uncontrollable fetish for men who look and act exactly like you," I'd have been like pffff get the fuck out of here, you're not a book!

I'm also doing an internship and just enjoying the summer.

"Not only am I not learning anything, I'm forgetting stuff I used to know!"-- Milhouse from the Simpsons

Dropping knowledge about the most random topics but still being totally oblivious to pop culture.

Inside-baseball political predictions. Almost Nate Silver-quality, but sans actual science.

Telling you what/who someone looks like.

Not being shocked by anything.

Eyes or facial hair. Apparently my eyes are very expressive, and people tend to either love or hate my facial hair. I tend to get along well with the ones who like it.

Books: Sex at Dawn, A Billion Wicked Thoughts**, and a bunch of authors you had to read in AP English and hated, then got to college and smoked some pot and decided you love.

TV: Stuff about First World White People Problems with a jaded edge to it. Louie, Bourdain, Always Sunny, An Idiot Abroad.

**I realize both of those books make me look like a giant perv, but I'm just really interested in why people do what they do, and where it all comes from. Especially the weird stuff because it makes absolutely no fucking sense and we're the only animals that do it. The word on the street is that OKCupid guys (internet daters in general?) make bizarre requests right out of the gate. Rest assured I will not do that.

Also, I have a confession. I've never seen a full episode of Arrested Development. My friends did that thing where you hype something up as hilarious and show you a clip and wait with bated breath for you to laugh, and when you don't laugh they're like no no no this next part is the funny part. And inevitably that kills it.

A challenge
A debate
Sex
Some form of exercise
Humor. Filthy, filthy humor.
Constant broadening of my horizons

Why the 2 and 3 trains only run every 8 minutes through midtown at 8AM weekdays.

What kind of lawwwwwww I want to practice. (Please don't ask me this unless you want to spend 20 minutes watching me debate myself)

Sex and money. Crass, but true. I've had positive experiences with these things, and would like some more of both, please.

Lately it's been either happy hours, or grumbling about how I have too much to do and can't go to a happy hour.

My mind almost instantly converts everything to a Family Guy/South Park/Seinfeld/Simpsons/Reno911/Aqua Teen Hunger Force/Tim & Eric reference. I may share it with you, I may not, but I will inevitably smirk to myself and look like a nut.

I'm a total yuppie but hate most things yuppies like. For example, brunch. Why is it suddenly a social requirement to "be seen" eating eggs?

At my old job, a man tried to sell me black market horseshoe crab blood. But it was exactly the same price as the legit stuff, so I emailed him back and asked him why I shouldn't just buy it from a legal source. His response was "Real gud crab blood." This was an office job, with a .gov email, and no use for crab blood whatsoever.

You're looking for the same thing I am.

You like any three of the following five people:
Dan Savage
Karl Pilkington
Andrew Sullivan
Zach Galiafinakis
Elizabeth Warren

You have a British accent. That's been a "thing" of mine for a while now, for some reason.

You accept the idea of Korean tacos, but feel that at some point a line needs to be drawn as to how much Asian food you can stick in a taco and call it innovative.

You want to go to that new prix fixe $48/person Pad Thai Taco place.

You got a little bit tingly at my Nate Silver reference.