(This is what I spend most of my time doing, unfortunately. Who
cares about all of this, right?)
Information, sensation & control. Everything else is a man-made
concept designated solely to human society as far as can be
"It's SUPPOSED to be a 'guessing game', so that they know whether
to discard/harass you for being weak or vulnerable."
"They want you to try to reveal your weakness. They want to see you
fail so they can be inwardly satisfied that it's not happening to
How many great ideas never escaped the minds of those who conjured
them up, and how such ideas are never acknowledged until somebody
else sees, hears or reads them. All that seems to matter to the
observer are impressions that are given or perceived.
The wisdom of selective ignorance, as well as my
approach to life nowadays: passive opportunism
coupled with sarcastic complacency.
How it seems most people can be placed into two categories: those
who try to control you, and those who just want to push you away.
Depending on who you are, they either try to drag you into their
scheme of things (your best interests in mind or not, with their
best intentions or not), or they want nothing to do with you
whatsoever. (Well, at least when it comes to me, but I shouldn't
single myself out, lest I be labeled a "crybaby").
The outlandish, unlikely possibility that the universe is a
troll, and I'm being trolled just for existing, because it
sure seems like it nowadays. (Is Jigsaw running
things?) If not just me, then all of us; however, if we're going to
assign consciousness to this all-encompassing universe, we've got
to acknowledge that it clearly treats people differently, similar,
if not identical to, "survival of the fittest", maybe a bit more
unpredictable. "Murphy's Law" does not afflict all. It's as if the
universe is practicing a little something I like to call
selective sadism. One going through their day
imagining themselves struggling against it sure gives them a
feeling of accomplishment, or at the very least, a rush of
Indeed, I am misaligned with this oft-spiteful universe, which can
and will disappoint, so any ideals, desires and fantasies I may
develop will be in direct opposition to the mechanics of reality
and society collectively, sending things I never asked for my way
thinking it helps. (Who wants to be spoiled with everything but
what they really desire? I'm willing to work/make
sacrifices/compromises for the things I desire, but not have
abundance in things that aren't my priority dumped onto my lap as
an alternative reward.) It won't let me settle upon any belief
system for too long, either rationalistic, philosophical or
spiritualist. But it may also be my mind, with it's conflicting
internal voices, arguing and battling each other for dominance over
my decisions. I'd rather my life not turn out to be a cruel joke,
but what can I do about it?
How life in this society is all about fitting neatly into
preexisting boxes/categories, since people tend to think in
absolutes, as they 'should'. You either "kick ass" or "kiss" it,
and even then, you're limited to your social/environmental/genetic
conditions. You see, people, including you & I, are limited to
their own perceptions, built upon specific experiences, traditions
& personality makeups, which, in turn, limits some people's
options. Unless, of course, you believe yourself to be an
exception, which I'm willing to bet most people would.
How life is a cynical power game from top to bottom. Enslavement,
exploitation of vulnerabilities and public humiliation reveal one's
weaknesses to large numbers of spectators so the aggressor can
dismiss, disassociate with and/or torment the subject in order to
figure out where they rank in this "invisible hierarchy". One
crushed between society & nature is not one to envy. Indeed,
some forms of control, exploitation or enslavement are routines of
business, often blissfully unnoticed by their target, and a number
are actually enjoyed by the subject!
"If you want to drive someone over the edge and lose all
self-control, foster the strongest unsatisfiable urge/desire,
unquenchable thirst, insatiable appetite/craving, in them possible
for something they will never be able to obtain (or be denied
access or opportunity to, or have barriers in the way that if
pushed will make them suffer somehow, either through law or
societal standards), no matter much effort is put into the attempt.
Do this for multiple people, then observe as they constantly remind
each other or rub it in how great it is, that they can't live
without it, or convince themselves or each other they don't
want/need it or that it's wrong/immoral/too dangerous. This has
already been done before throughout history, and even today, by
various institutions, whether intentional or not."
"It was all for nothing, you gullible sucker! All that time and
effort you wasted trying to earn that
oh-so-desired-yet-simple-and-refreshing reward (you were TOLD to do
such heavy-lifting by your superiors, or else you'd be punished or
lose privileges), you could've easily gained it effortlessly if you
would've went with our plans and cheated, but now it's too late,
because you'll NEVER be able to gain it EVER AGAIN in your WHOLE
ENTIRE LIFE! And do you want to know the best part? You need it
more now than ever before, and now you'll suffer without it,
especially since we're going to rub it in and remind you of what
you lost, what you could've had, that slipped through your fingers,
as often as possible, just to watch you squirm! We're gonna watch
as you panic and try to find a lousy replacement, whether it be
something far beneath it (not that you deserve better than that) or
something far too pricey or hard to manage with! LULZ!!!"
How often I cycle through headache, nausea, embarrassment, panic,
annoyance, grief/misery and boredom.
"Without TREMENDOUS emotional strength, reality can have
detrimental effects upon your health."
How bad of an influence reality is on someone trying to conduct
themselves in modern-day society, and how the social fabric is an
obstacle to someone trying to determine the layout of
How anything truly refreshing or relieving, that which lasts, at
least, is fleeting from me at a rapid rate. Anyone else have this
How "human values" can't possibly be global/universal, since
different people seem to have completely different sets of values,
even within the same culture/society.
How I'm steadily losing control over my own life.
How I either give up too easy or don't know when to quit.
How I may've spent too much of my life hanging out with/listening
to old people, and what effect that might have had upon me.
How often it seems I can't have what I want even when nobody else
How my own personal tastes can alienate me from others with
differing tastes. How common some of these tastes are, further
limiting my options.
How I don't necessarily care about "classic standards of feminine
beauty". If someone I fancy happens to have it, so be it.
Limits of language: words have different meanings to different
people; some words are limiting in their dichotomies, but using an
"accurate" word may still yield criticism or confusion.
"One man's trash is another man's treasure; one man's pain is
another man's pleasure"
How the dynamics of human (and even inter-species) relationships
makes most people into slaves and/or
parasites, except for the
aristocrats and alphas, the
latter of which can be predators who choose
whatever prey they want; "love" as a concept is
usually nothing more than slavery and/or parasitism, and mutuality
of this is a privilege limited to those lucky enough to find it,
except for said aristocrats and alphas; as for other forms of
relations, you even see this in capitalist (slavery employment) and
communist (parasitic employment) societies; for example, employees
are slaves to both their alpha/aristocrat bosses (or simply the
company) and their customers simply to make a "living" by
benefitting with payment of currency, while the customers are both
parasitic to the "workers" who serve them and slaves to the
companies that they choose to remain loyal to by loading their own
currency into (which may fund things the customer is often unaware
of, even things they stand against).
To continue from the above, simply by existing, I may be causing
great despair or discomfort for another human in one way or
another, but for yet another human, my nonexistence would cause
them great dispair or discomfort, and so these two other humans are
always at odds because of me.
How one is often a slave to other people's perceptions of one's
self, or to their own preconcieved notions. How difficult it is for
one to balance between pursuing their own interests and
managing/controlling other people's perceptions of them in order to
not lose opportunities.
How preconceived notions, confirmation bias, projection and such
can be used by people to pull you in or distance themselves.
The phrase "the truth will set you free", and what that entails or
whether or not it's always true. Pure freedom without any security
(such as in the natural world) can be quite alienating for many
people, and so therefore knowledge is capable of being alienating
as well. (Some "truths" can ONLY alienate you, with no freedom.)
Most people don't really want complete freedom, they only say they
do; what they truly want is to be comfortable and protected, to be
able to do as they please (within "safe" limits, or at least
without facing the consequences they would in nature) and be left
to their own devices for the most part, i. e. the freedom to do
anything within the limits of not harming anyone directly in the
process. However, "live and let live" is not the same as unlimited
freedom. Also the phrase "knowledge is power"; if "great power
entails great levels of responsibility", then most people would
avoid the responsibility of having too much knowledge for their
"own good". You know, "ignorance is bliss", unless one directly
struggles due to their ignorance. Knowledge can also be addicting
How discovering truth & figuring out reality are quite
irrelevant to our daily lives, except when it comes to working the
system to your advantage, in which case some knowledge and natural
instinct about the layout of society (even if it only applies to
your immediate vicinity) or human nature (if you believe there is
such thing) is required to live a healthy, fulfilling life.
How most people don't care about what's true, unless it confirms
what they already believe.
"That's the thing about hypocrisy, son. You're not supposed to
notice it, and if you do, you're expected to keep your mouth shut
about it, lest you want to lose your liberty & privileges in
How ones options are usually limited to whoever's "in charge" of
them or "wield power" over them, and how your own interests are
irrelevant in relation to what they think is best for you, or what
they want you to do or not. If you're fighting this 'system' and
winning with minimal effort, you're probably not as 'oppressed' as
you think you are.
How society has always been afflicted with permanent imbalance, and
will continue to do so. There may be no "solution", and a "perfect
balance", "happy medium", or "middle ground" may be impossible,
because taking a position on any issue is like placing a
ball on top of a round, sloping hill.
How humans have never fully understood each other, and probably
never will. They can't seem to agree on anything (or at least most
things), yet they all think they're 'right'. It's clear as day that
many people don't have any clue or idea what in the hell they're
doing. (However, 'humanity' has no set description or definition as
a whole, and therefore cannot be easily 'summed up' or 'put into
words', so is there really any rhyme or reason to it?)
How humans behave more like social insects (ants
& bees) than typical mammals, and operate in "social hives",
where ideas, opinions and outlooks are formed according to the
collective identity of each group. Members of each hive are taught
or indoctrinated how the world outside these hives (including
members of other hives) operates and what their motives and goals
are, as well as how to behave and interact once they leave their
hives, by the hive leader. This info is processed by the members as
best as they can interpret it in their minds, until they are set
out to follow through what they were just taught, and then we
wonder why we see swarms fighting and creating proverbial mushroom
How the PUA community may be practicing
sociopaths for the most part, and how this may fit into
survival of the fittest. Being a manipulative, dominating,
smooth-talking charmer who can persuade people to do whatever they
want, regardless of whether it's in their subject's best interests
or livelihood, is supposedly favored by natural selection. Of
course, this assumes all women (and men for that matter) are
the same, and they will explicitly tell you which ones to avoid,
limiting you to what they think is best. In summary, your best
intentions are irrelevant, and whatever you think is true or right
doesn't matter, nor what you may actually desire. It's all about
impressions, keeping up appearances and possible facades, and
taking what your supposed to want, whatever your told you should
desire. Ah, much like most avenues in life, unless you're
privileged. People may compare Aspergers to sociopathy, but the
latter is actually somewhat favored by the social framework.
The absurdity of obese, middle-aged cocky bachelor(ette)s mocking
young, fit people for attempting to stay healthy through diet &
exercise regimens, as if they're "too smart" for that "new-age
modern nonsense", even "proud" of their out-of-shape bodies because
they're "old-fashioned". I could understand a person who can manage
to stay fit & healthy without being very active or
"food-conscious" making a bunch of overweight people struggling to
burn calories through such means feel like a "pack of unlucky
suckers" by comparison, but if you're one of those fat fellows I
was mentioning above, don't complain if you wind up having to
settle for a fellow obese companion in the future.
How some Aspies can get caught in "gotcha" moments that
appear/sound like negative or embarrassing stereotypical behavior
or statements, leading to possible humiliation and/or
condescension, further limiting options. Oh well, I guess that's
the price we have to pay for being in public, or maybe we all just
deserve it anyways; after all, we're all exactly the same, aren't
How supposedly nonexistent sensory issues can lead you to be itchy,
sweaty or figity, which can lead people to assume you're lying or
covering up something in a given interaction with them, which can
lead to severed ties and broken relations, as well as potentially
How women are genetically inclined to choose whoever they want to
procreate with (unless they choose lonely abstinence or are strict
lesbians without sperm donation), whether they choose to keep the
baby or prevent the parasite's existence just so they can enjoy the
pleasure (if they enjoy it at all), while men are genetically
inclined to either be viable sperm banks, risk death/injury/loss of
privileges in the process, or be stuck with a possibly miserable
life of abstinence if they're not gay.
How enormous and largely uncharted this universe is, and yet how
useless most of our solar system is to our world's immediate and
How when I make general statements regarding people, unless you're
an exception, please STFU. I'm not here to fight
against any "enemy", so I'm not looking to hear how my "social
group" is worse, because I'm not all about representing or
defending my "kind" if they're doing something that pisses you off,
unless it's someone I actually care about, in which case I'm
obligated to gain more information before I jump on your
How I occasionally get the impression that everyone's right but
myself. Okay, more than occasionally.
How focusing on one priority can make you neglect another.
How often reverse psychology backfires or is ineffective, in
relation to how often it works.
How I'm drastically losing faith in some of OKC's
algorithms as a matchmaking device. No offense to hopeful
visitors, if they exist.
The cruel, complacent, mindless arrogance of the assumption that
'if God wills it, it will happen'. "God" should only be seen as
another word for the universe and the forces that shape it.
Whether or not religion, being a misinformed, metaphorical,
mass-induced hypnosis, cripples it's adherents into needing it as a
'crutch', creating a void in their 'hearts' that only it can
seemingly fill, and puts victimhood into their subconscious. How
'secular humanism', as well-meaning and popular as it may be, may
simply be Christianity without a deity or holy book. Whether
'anarchy' is productive or a waste of energy. (Should
'productivity' even be a goal?) If 'nihilism' is true, then who's
fit to be a nihilist and who isn't?
(When you're raised to believe the stories in the Bible are actual
historical events, and have a sensitive, unintentionally
condescending mother who tries to parallel moments of fiction;
biblical or not, with moments of your life, as well as a pastor for
a father, you don't know when to take fiction personally or not.
This doesn't even touch the issue of discerning fiction from real
The ironic, unsaid-yet-ever-so-subtly-enforced policy of churches
based on a modified verse of their own bible: "come as you are (but
not in those clothes)".
Whenever I hear any overly-simplistic, one-size-fits-all
solution(s) to my problems, dilemmas, or conundrums poised by
people I know IRL, I can't help but notice how dismissive and
patronizing their attitude usually is. It's often an attempt to put
an end to the discussion prematurely, as if they know the answer
themselves. Conversely, some of the same people may try to poke
holes in your answer or possible solution by asking ridiculous
questions (ones that aren't valid points).
Whether I'm not trying hard enough, or just trying
too hard, when it comes to setting goals, minor or major.
After all, everyone has unlimited potential, which
just requires more effort, right?
How multiple given positions/people can be right or have 'valid
points', but that doesn't necessarily mean they are all equally
correct. In fact, more often than not, multiple if not all given
positions/people are equally incorrect and possibly
Why the conventional route of 'taking a position and sticking to it
is often not just overrated, but downright ineffective in the long
run, at least for me anyways.
How people who barely know you at all think they can make the worst
judgement calls on your character.
How quickly (and sometimes permanently) people's
impressions of you are formed (and how these set-in-stone
impressions limit your options & privileges).
Whether the majority opinion has more merit than the minority
opinion (this has nothing to do with the term 'minorities'). If a
person, idea or discovery is unique, rare, or otherwise largely
unheard of, then they are practically irrelevant and nonexistent in
the eyes of one's everyday peers. It's easy for me to become
annihilated by the 'collective truth' if I'm to assume that
everyone's right but me, no matter how contradictory or conflicting
they may be with each other.
How one doesn't need to have the most truth and wisdom to be
"right" in an argument, only the ability to argue effectively and
How confusion, or at least the admission of it, is always [either]
a weakness and/or excuse, unless, of course, it's coming from an
'expert'. Also, confusion is always the same thing as
How nothing an 'expert' says can ever be a fallacy.
How I don't like being compared to certain people, whether real or
fictional. How much anyone could care less, and wind up doing it
Whether or not I'll be treated like a ping pong ball for the rest
of my life. It's as if reality and truth depends on who I'm
How my lifespan may largely consist of missed opportunities and
Whether or not I've already lost the game called 'life', and
whether or not I'm the only one who can, or knows how to, help, if
that. How often it seems as if I'm just a burden on society
wherever I'm relevant. Whenever I don't feel like a complete loser,
I feel like a sucker; if not a sucker, than an idiot; if not a
sucker, than a "creep"; sometimes I feel like some combination of
the four. I'm probably creeping people out just by existing;
perhaps my existence is unforgivable. (The only reason I haven't
ended my existence yet is because I haven't found a secluded area
in which to do it, and because it's hung over, or hammered into, my
head how I must contribute to society in some way or another;
however, if it's a pointless endeavor, who am I supposed to obey or
listen to? I guess it's my fault for not automatically
How there are billions of people in the world, and I'm only one of
them. How the world doesn't need me at all, confirming my
suspicions of my own irrelevance. I don't need to exist; I'd be
better off if I never did. People ask what the 'purpose of living'
is; for the less 'fit' (I'm probably one), is it to be 'used for
work that's needed in society', or is it to be 'used for the
emotional needs of the family one was born into'? If both are true,
which one takes precedent? Sometimes I wonder; if one can't get
what they want or need most out of life, what fulfills them most,
by a certain age, have they 'failed life'? If I can ONLY have what
I DON'T really want, everything EXCEPT what I want, anything BUT
what I want, while some others can, is it because they deserve it
and I don't?
How, in a financially-run system, humans exist as sources of
currency for one another.
How often I don't really learn how things work until after I've
lost the opportunity to use or obtain them, forcing me to scramble
amongst a progressively declining array of options because I have
no other choice remaining. I'm not allowed to complain, because
'beggars can't be choosers'. Is it the 'rule' that the only way
some 'learn lessons' is by being 'punished' or 'suffering
consequences' for the rest of their lives? Is there a way to
'please everyone', and only have those who wish to witness it be
able to see and/or hear the subject suffer through their worst,
most painful nightmares and fears as punishment for eternity,
without ever losing consciousness? Hey, if we're not placating
those revenge fantasists, we're not doing our part
in culling the "freaks" out of society, right? Because, as
EVERYBODY "KNOWS", if you think something, or do something "icky"
in private that doesn't harm anyone, it automatically means you're
going to do something harmful to the public (because "freaks" never
have any self-control, and even if they do, they'll still be
considered a threat to society if their "secrets" are ever
revealed, and must feel guilty enough to take their own life before
that happens for the sake of humanity)!
They say I shouldn't "live in the past"/"dwell on things of the
past", unless, of course, it's something I did "wrong", or didn't
do what they wanted/told me to, or that "affected them personally"
that they "didn't like" and "can't forgive/forget", in which case I
should regret or suffer for, and be ashamed of, for the rest of my
How often I never know when to care or not. It seems like I started
out not knowing enough to give a damn, then being taught to give a
damn, followed by someone else making me feel foolish for giving a
damn and then stop giving one, only to have someone else make me
ashamed about not giving a damn, and the process basically
continues that general pattern. I also don't know when to let
people effect me or resist (depends upon the person).
Labels, and their usefulness as well as abuse; people may take on
any given label for granted, and then complain when they don't fit
in with their supposed "clique".
How there can be so many choices, but so few options. How
corporatism has placed a monopoly on choice in the western
How impossible it is for someone to neither procrastinate
too much or be noticeably impatient.
Whether or not all 'optimists' are either stupid, ignorant, insane,
blind, sheltered, spoiled, privileged, condescending or 'evil'. In
similar fashion, whether or not all 'pessimists' are old,
superstitious, prudish, pious, dull, harsh, grotesque, misanthropic
or abusive. I would guess that most normal people would be
fair-weather optimists. Or maybe I'm
'generalizing'. In any case, anyone unfortunate enough to be
reduced to pessimism or negativity is a parasite/burden to those
optimists who want to preserve their precious positive
How luck, happiness & satisfaction depend mostly upon one's
genetic inheritance and, to a lesser extent, social structure. In
other words, you're born with your general level of those 3 things
because of your family, and stuck with them for life. No wonder
people move to other countries. So, in summary, genes, social
environment/status & circumstances, at least one of which is
unchangeable, determine your life's outcome. I curse my family's
genes for their curse upon me, while being grateful for whatever
genetic/environmental/social blessing I may have. My rank in the
supposedly "fictional" hierarchy (as well as any situation of being
knocking down off the peak of "satisfaction mountain" that may
occur due to weaknesses being noticed by disgruntled or
grudge-ridden scheming mountaineers) will determine which of those
blessings I should have to sacrifice or have usurped for the sake
How often people's self-interests, no matter how well-meaning,
conflict with each other, often without substantial
How one is supposed to deal with conflicting 'life lessons'.
How the pursuit & mastery of talent & creativity are often
a waste of human energy these days.
What starving, poor children in third-world nations would say/think
if they heard of all the people who feel sorrow for them in
well-off societies. Probably something along the lines of, "hey, I
have little to eat or drink, no shelter, no sanitation, and not to
mention disease-spreading flies surrounding me, but hey, at least I
can rest assured I can get a good night's sleep at night just
knowing that there are people living easy feeling sorry for me and
thinking their charity attempts and prayers are reaching me and
helping me along. Plus, how would I get the warm fuzzies if it
weren't for Bono and those other musicians holding those concerts
thinking that they benefit me directly? Thanks a million, guys! I
may be in terrible conditions, but at least I have your
well-intentioned sympathy which makes ALL the difference!"
How easy it would be for a pack of con artists to get involved in
the pharmaceudical industry to sell a bottle of tacks, pins,
needles, nails or staples as a prescription drug to mentally
retarded patients as a "goof". "Hey, even if you think this
five-'pill' dosage hurts your mouth, think about the old addage
that 'the best medicine is the hardest to swallow'! True, you may
be bleeding from the throat or mouth, but relax; that's just the
medicine at work curing your ailment. That other patient choked and
died from these same drugs? Well, that's just a rare side effect;
it probably won't happen to you. We know what's best for
The fact that the glass is only half-full; why can't it be
completely full? (Unless you look at it as only
'half empty', which is better than completely empty.)
However, nobody ever tells you what the glass in question is filled
with. Even an empty glass is normally full of air, unless it's in a
vacuum of space. Plus, even if it is liquid, it could be a
poison that could harm the drinker, unless it's used to harm or
kill a nemesis. Or it could just be a bitter-tasting medicine you'd
want to drink less of. In some cases, it's better when the
glass is half empty.