Imagine a ginger stag with six legs and antlers made of chrome and I'm like 14% as cool as that.

I challenge you to a fight of the minds

my special move

ko

My favourite videogames are Link to the Past, Max Payne 2, Knights of the Old Republic and Bioshock because FUCK THE GUIDELINES (actually I'd quite like to hear your opinion on videogames)

my fingers

cool girls

...hammering fuck out of Dark Souls because it's fucking ace.

I can't be fucked writing my life story out on this fuckin' thing. If you're anything like me you're going to write half-truths, secretly decide unto yourself who you'd like to fuck, shamelessly start trying to find even the most tenuous reasons why that person might want to respond to your messages let alone reciprocate your lust, before ultimately deciding from behind the glass filter that you'll probably not bother. Or maybe you will bother and then the two of us will hit it off. The two of us will scamper through life living out one great big romantic comedy that all started Once Upon A Fucking Time on OKCupid. We'll have an elaborate wedding that'll be the Happiest Day of Our Lives, and then inexplicably live in relative misery for the rest of our miniscule, mortal flecks of life. We'll age until we are both dust, and then the history books will forget the both of us because we left nothing behind but children, whom now are nothing but echoes of our lives - doomed to repeat our mistakes until the heat death of the universe.

I overthink things a lot.

...you think videogames are the best fucking thing ever; you're not put off by the fact I rarely read books or if you think redheads are the sexiest thing to grace the surface of planet since the Triassic period.

(I lied, I do sort of read books)