So what am I doing hoping for love… reaching up, building pillars, some boys catch fireflies, while I pursue angels? What kind of man would I be if I finally caught one, more to the point what kind of man am I to dare such a thing.
A dreamer without a doubt but how does one dream about one he’s never known, something he’s never had and I suppose as others feel for a God I have not seen I only believe in this feeling, for someone out there who has yet to know me. A hopeless romantic, though not in the traditional sense of fairytales, I root for Peeta, yearn to be Tobias/Four, and would give anything to be Christian Grey, just to name a few. As Winston Smith put it, “Look, I hate purity. Hate goodness. I don't want virtue to exist anywhere. I want everyone corrupt.” A thought-criminal to be sure a monster looking to love such a woman of such innocence and virtue as such lust could demand so, I seek an angel to love.
“All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.” T. E. Lawrence
This I did this I do, want, need, and desire… an artful love of lust; this is my passion, a reason, and a way I am in the process of continual learning. Another way of putting this is literature, learning, and libertine; indeed my passions can be defined by far more but my nature brings to mind these three.
As Henry Miller put it "The best way to get over a woman is to turn her into literature." and so I am a writer of hundreds of poems and believe it or not, nine unpublished books. I read all that I can and over the past few months that has included… The Fifty Shades Series, The Hunger Games Series, The Divergent Series, His Dark Materials, and last but not least, Domination & Submission: The BDSM Relationship Handbook, along with several texts from the Marquis de Sade. While I am a virgin, I have been afforded the luxury of attempting to understand my sexuality and for now this lies in Sadism, Dominance and Submission, and learning several concepts in the world of BDSM such as Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, Role-Play etc.
“When you look at me, when you think of me, I am in paradise.” William Makepeace Thackeray
Are you scared or do you dare to tumble down the rabbit hole a little further… to ask how far I would take you, I answer, somewhere only we know.
I have found beauty from picnics on Midsummer’s Day, a walk in the park, or maybe a hike in the woods, maybe we could sit by a lake, perhaps watch a horror movie in a graveyard; to be more traditional maybe a horror movie in a theater or one of my favorite books brought to life. Of course I can do better, would you ever go to an adult theater or bookstore, perhaps entertain you in my “Red Room” or would you dare somewhere more… public?
"She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire." Charles Bukowski
Dauntless, Selfless, Submissive, and yet my very own “Girl On Fire” all that I want in a woman and far more, all that you are, all you can be and will be… with me is the rub. Being shallow would be all the simpler I suppose and yes I can be but the heart, mind, body, and soul; however is one to bring them into sync.
Girls from worlds fondly remembered, Katniss Everdeen, Beatrice “Tris” Prior, Anastasia Steele/Grey, Fiona Belli, (yes I was a gamer) Hentai etc. I adore intelligence, someone who reads and seeks knowledge of all they can, artistic yearnings especially writers, and an innocence, a goodness that shares such light with me. Let that light be a fire… a fallen angel, someone who would revel in virtue but would long to sin and would defy such virtue, with me.