Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Orphaned at a young age, I was raised by a pack of rogue malamutes.
Living a feral existence in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin, I
barely advanced to one rung in the evolutionary ladder. I've been
called an obnoxious, narcissistic punk by my Rabbi. After spending
some time in a Turkish prison, I was released on good behavior.
Despite being determined to turn my life around, my goal of being
Aurora's Highest Paid Lapdancer ended when I slipped a disc.
Realizing that I couldn't bump-n-grind-n-twerk, I turned to art.
After being discovered as a highly touted chalk outliner for the
police, I was hired to draw ALL the penis artwork for the 2007
comedy SUPERBAD. I've been married twelve times fathered nineteen
children (mostly in Utah) and . . . wait . . .
...sorry. Let's try this again...
I'm a work in progress. Since I'm not satisfied with my body or my
job, I'm actually doing something about it instead of whining about
I am driven and focused on my long term goal to one
day...FINALLY...be able to say: "I am a professional cartoonist.
That's my job."
You may or may not be able to handle my sense of humor or my ADHD.
(The struggle is real.) My only intention is to amuse and
entertain, but sometimes instead of being the comedian, I end up
being "The Human Hemorrhoid".
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
On Saturdays, I teach Cartooning/Character Design for kids &
teens. It's been a very rewarding experience so far.
-My full time job is working with The Main Crew for Nicor Gas. We
put pipe in the ground and connect it to a live existing
-I've been taking boxing lessons at X-Sport Fitness in St. Charles
as well as X-IT Classes to shed some LBS and build muscle.
-Besides lesson plans, I'm working on a few commissions, comic
strip ideas, and character designs. Next year, I'll have a table at
Chicago's C2E2 (Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo).
-I'm a karaoke junkie. Well, kind of. I don't go out as much, but I
sing with my brother-in-law's band at the church he preaches at and
occasionally will lead church service. I'm always trying out songs
at home (yes, I sing in the shower).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Singing (VERY well, in fact)
-Being opinionated (yet still respectful of other's opinions)
-Entertaining people with my sense of humor
-Entertaining kids (kids LOVE me)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
-My green eyes
-My singing ability
-My drawing skills
-My ability to entertain or annoy (depending on who you ask)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
MUSIC: My taste in music is quite schizophrenic.
-(METAL) Slayer, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Pantera, Rob
-(CLASSIC ROCK) The Beatles, The WHO, Pink Floyd, The Police,
-(80's) Duran Duran, Asia, and 80's one-hit-wonders.
-(TOP 40) Katy Perry, Carly Rae, Skrillex, Lumineers, Bruno
-CLASSICAL (including John Williams soundtracks)
-EARLY BLUES (like Robert Johnson)
-Various audiobooks (I'm VERY picky about what book I want to
actually LISTEN to as opposed to READING).
-Chicago Sports Radio 670 A.M. (I'm ADDICTED to the Boers &
Movies: STAR WARS TRILOGY, INDIANA JONES FILMS, GODFATHER TRILOGY,
LORD OF THE RINGS, BLADE RUNNER, EXORCIST, HELLBOY 2, AVENGERS,
IRON MAN, BOURNE TRILOGY, JAWS, DARK KNIGHT, BORAT, BLAZING
SADDLES, various documentaries...
...that's just a few.
Books: Last book I've read - Official Truth 101 Proof by Rex
Current audiobooks: KILLING LINCOLN by Bill O'Reilly, TOUGH SH*T:
LIFE ADVICE FROM A FAT, LAZY SLOB WHO DID GOOD by Kevin Smith
When I'm at the drawing board, I LOVE listening to SCHULZ AND
PEANUTS: A BIOGRAPHY by David Michaelis
Favorite food: Mom's home cooking (Mexican style). I'd like to try
different foods out there despite being a somewhat picky eater. I
DO have a weakness for pizza and Welch's Sparkling Grape Juice.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My God-given drawing talent
My singing ability
My family & friends
My iMac & PC
My Christian Faith
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-my cartoon characters/comic strip ideas/graphic novel ideas
-how I'm going to get a booth or table at San Diego Comicon
-My time in the Army, specifically when I was stationed in
Schweinfurt, Germany. Not a day goes by when I don't daydream about
my time there. I would LOVE to re-live it all over again.
-Not just being a successful cartoonist, but having my characters
be iconic figures that kids go crazy over.
-When I'm going to get married/start a family. It's inevitable, but
I always wonder when that day will come.
-What kind of a father I will be.
-The positive and wonderful memories of my life so far that have
shaped me into who I am today.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...depending on the Friday, I am either:
-at the drawing board honing my God-given drawing skills
-doing homework assignments
-giving in to my addiction to Facebook
-going to see a movie
-going to a karaoke bar
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I "SpongeBob'ed" the hell out of my bathroom. No joke. After I
watched SpongeBob for the first time with Army buddies (no we were
NOT sober) while stationed in Germany, I became a HUGE fan.
Yes... I'm 40 years old and I STILL throw down in the heavy metal
mosh pits. Crowd surfing is optional of course...
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
-IF YOU ARE A NON-SMOKER. (NO exceptions!)
-If you are of the Christian faith. (I cannot date someone who is
atheist, agnostic, or of a different faith. It would not work
-You can tolerate my sense of humor and don't get easily
-You find cartoonists intriguing.
By all means send me a message or instant message so that we can
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