And now that that's out of the way, on with the show!]
I'm what you'd get if you mixed up James Woods, Quentin Tarantino, Dr. House, Abed Nadir, Eminem, and Moe from "The Simpsons," and painted the freaky love-mutant black: A humble Kanye West with no money. (Or if you prefer, the polar opposite of Katy Perry, my arch nemesis.)
I would say the six traits to describe this dude are: Intellectual, Creative, Witty/Sarcastic, a Hopeless Romantic, Headstrong/Pragmatic, and a Gamer. I'm also honest, and say things others might not want to hear. I'm creative enough to be officially labeled a "nerd." I'm a hopeless romantic but I'm not going to go out of my way to prove this to you by acting all "chivalrous." I can laugh at toilet humor and then, correct the spelling and grammar of the joke I just read. And lastly, I'm a little pessimistic about the human race given our current state of affairs. I'm an amazing catch, but I'm anything but the status quo. I'm just looking for someone to survive this journey called 'human life on planet Earth' long enough for us to inevitably contribute to humanity, pass along our genetic material onto offspring, and decay inside a box six feet underground.
If you're cute, funny, nice or friendly, can handle intelligent conversation, and above all else, interesting, write to me and let's put a stake into the heart of Loneliness together.
Now for the actual profile.
The Official Introduction
...You know, sometimes I think about the end of the world. When all the supermarkets, internet, and smartphones people so overly depend on suddenly disappear and what will happen to these people. How long will they actually be able to survive? A couple of days, maybe? A week? I guess I typically think about things like that on a daily basis. People nowadays in the 21st century. How coddled humanity has become.
I'm Marvin. Nice to meet you! When I walk down the street, I certainly don't look like someone who stands out or grabs anyone's attention. I'm not tall, or handsome, or really even that dark. And I'm definitely not ripped. I'm as typical of a 20-something Philadelphian black male as you can get. That is... until I open my mouth. I'm one of those "quirky" types that doesn't think or act like anyone else. I'm probably 16 people in one, really. I'm complex and in this world, that's sometimes not a good thing.
[The hell with these dudes! ----------------------------------------->
Don't you try to compare me to random hipsters, OKCupid! "Similar Users," my tuches!]
Most people have a "buffet" approach to online dating. I'm more the type who's more likely to talk to a few women overall that could all be potential serious relationships than making myself appeal to as many women as possible, with about 99% of them being totally wrong for me.
I'm looking for a true relationship with the girl I'd climb mountains for. What that means is, most women on here probably won't be right for me. Many might not even like me as a person. That's cool. I'm only trying to find the one who wants the full and complete me, not thousands of women who want a random guy to conform to them. I spent too much time being angry at myself for not being the tall, formulaic "Perfect Man" just about every woman on here describes being entitled to in their "Message Me If" section merely for having a vagina and nothing else. I'm no one's Prince Charming or Mr. Perfect.
So all I ask is please don't try to change me. Because I'm going to be me, and you're going to be you, and that's the way it is. End of story.
So if you're looking for a the same old Tall, Dark, and Handsome "average" guy (a concept I utterly loathe, by the way; I'd NEVER want to be an 'average' anything!), then I'm not what you want. But if you like something different, a bit more unconventional, imperfect, and a sense of humor actually matters to you, then maybe you'll like me. (If you want some pretty mild examples, check out the "Most private thing I'm willing to admit" section.) If you can enjoy me after reading this profile, that's a good start.
I don't discriminate against area codes, race, ethnicity, nationality, age, or size. I don't care where you live because I believe
true love is not limited by distance. However, if you're a Republican/conservative, a judgmental vegan, or extremely religious, it may not be too likely to work out.
My Career goal is to work as a professional writer and television producer in show biz (called a "showrunner "), and I write, all the time. Literally everyday, whether it's through creative fiction, or trying to impress a random stranger through an overly long OKCupid message.
Finding a 'soulmate' is one of my life's six goals. They are: Love, Friends, Career, Education, Dreams, and Looks & Health. I work on trying to improve these, everyday. Each one is a near impossible task to reach 100% completion in, but each time I complete one, I'll earn an Achievement. (The Love one's worth 600G.)
I'm an INTJ personality, if you care about any of that. I'm also a Chaotic Neutral (like Jack Sparrow or Han Solo). My personality is fairly unconventional while barely remaining within the realm of what most would consider 'a human being.' I'm scrappy and a bit of a wise-ass, but also I'm considerate, generous, and loyal. I care about people, but not enough to change who I am just for them. I try to be nice to everyone, but I couldn't care less what part of me "offends" you. I don't live my life to placate others and their sensitive feelings.
I'm very Darwinian and also a perfectionist. If you don't know what that means, basically, I'm very competitive. Like, very competitive. I'm also a good listener and an excellent conversationalist. I can debate with the best of them. If I lacked any kind of conscience, I'd be an excellent lawyer or psychologist. I'm an egalitarian and believe in equal rights for all people, however, I personally have less respect for stupid and rude individuals.
I believe persistence is the only thing that separates the luckiest people in the world from the least fortunate in terms of personal success and happiness. Everyone loses in life, but only quitters stay losers. And things like Love and Dreams are just things I can't give up on trying to achieve in the short time we have in this world. If we don't fight for what we truly want in life, then what's the point of living? To work a job you hate, with someone you don't want to be with, all so you can stay in your comfort zone? Forget that! That's not me.
I love curvy girls! I also love glasses (major!), shoulder-length-or-longer-hair, big earrings, and skirts. Tall, Curvaceous and Voluptuous is definitely my type, but I'm open to almost anyone, so don't take this as a discouragement if you're skinny or petite. If I had to pick any celebrity to date solely based on their persona, I'd go with Olivia Wilde. That laid-back, funny, intelligent, quick-witted, 'best friend' type of sexy tomboy, you know? Although I have my physical turn-ons, Personality is what truly matters the most to me, so if own every season of Community on DVD or Blu Ray, ignore this paragraph and send me a message, already! Bonus points if you own a functional zombie apocalypse kit.
- Human stupidity
- Blatant racism
- Vain, egotistical, self-absorbed types
- Ghetto-ness ("Ghetto" being ill-mannered, dumb, loud, obnoxious, inconsiderate, and rude)
- Capitalism (The rich get richer, and the poor get f**ked)
- Consumerism (Buying useless crap you don't need to make yourself think you're happy)
- Religious self-righteousness
- Most typical human behavior, in general (see above for examples)
- People who put baby pictures online
- Women who put pictures of their friends (or random stuff) in their photo gallery, especially men
- Very intelligent (calling all sapiosexual girls)
- Witty sense of humor
- Worth getting to know if you love interesting things/stories
- Very creative
- Endless wealth of stories, being a fiction writer and all
- Can hold a conversation well
- Hopeless romantic
- Extremely ambitious/persistent
- Extremely devoted and loyal to any girlfriend
- (Fairly) decent grammar
- No diseases
- Handicap accessible (I'd date a girl in a wheelchair, yes)
- Available on nights and weekends; even holidays!
- I can sometimes can be pessimistic about the state of the world. It's hard not to be if you have any kind of brain and awareness of the world.
- Imperfect. Not tall, dark, and handsome with a six pack and six figures.
- Not a millionaire; don't have any Make It Rain money.
- Very low tolerance of Gold Diggers and other superficial people.
- I sometimes generalize in my vocabulary. I've been prone to use "all" or "most" often, though I only mean that relating to me, not in the literal sense (Working on changing this).
- I've been accused of sometimes being insensitive. I can either be a straight-up honest shooter with you, because I care about your well being, or tell you exactly everything you want to hear, because I care about your feelings. You tell me which flavor suits you, but I can't simultaneously be the ideal oxymoron you want. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS NOW, AND NOT LATER. I don't like bullshitting and lying to those who can't handle honesty and are hyper-sensitive because their parents and/or friends were enablers.